Well Tuesday went off like a wet fart. Sure, there were some big games, but there was zero energy in the building. We gonna chalk that up to New Year’s Day and folks being hungover. SoThursday we got to step it up in a big way and get after this thing like only a Thursday night can!
Thursday Early (fake late):
LOS -5 versus My Balls: There was some talk of big changes and key additions to My Balls on the podcast, but I wasn’t listening so I have no idea what they are. LOS is not what it once was, but give me Stiffy, Cheese a daily bowler and Precious over anything My Balls has to offer. Here is Barry in the car after the loss:
5 Finger Discount -1 versus UREA!: These are teams I know absolutely nothing about. Both J Bird and Rufio had drastically different squads last year as Discount moves to Thursday B. Count on a back and forth match as the teams try to keep it on the lane.
GOB -10 versus Tats and Tits: Holden Green must have come into some money because he of the fake 300 is making season average bets with everyone under the sun. Either the guy spent the summer in bowling camp or he is an idiot. Probably both. Well he better be holden green because his teammate Invisible Hand is invisible when it comes to packing bowls. Watch out for this alley mooch, guy thinks since he has to do his job every once in awhile he deserves free green. They’ve lost some people and added some people so who knows? Other side of the lane Rubys and his beautiful bride Red Empire were seen putting in some work New Year’s Day so they will be ready. Train Conductor will be looking top get out of the house with baby twins in the joint. Lots of BoPo babies on the lanes these days mad f$cking been going down. Speaking of which here is Hand and Holden getting psyched for the game.
Touch My Excite -10 versus Lion’s Den: Tough offseason for the Den, they literally had their captain quit the team to go join a Tuesday A team. Bold move by turncoat Ricky V. TMX member Squatch just had a bowling ball named after him. Mokkiki and Das just had a baby a bit ago. Advantage TMX. Here is Mokkiki and Squatch after the match. Squatch in the pads:
Wow if that’s fixing to show him how he does it on Instagram that dude’s Instagram account must literally be a train wreck.
Bowled and Beautiful -13 versus Granola: B&B got tired of getting run over in Thursday A and made the switch to Thursday B where they should be an automatic title contender. Granola just looking for a night off from the kids. I can get behind that. Here is Kid Loose after hearing Mr. Mayor wants him to call him “Dad”.
Pinny Candy -1 versus Bowlderdash: Two long time BoPo squads lock horns to start the year off on the right foot. 12 seasons of BoPo it is truly amazing. This should be a back and forth match and would be nice to get a bowl-off on opening night. We know Pinny Candy loves the early start and fresh pull suspect they pull it out.
Yessssss! We finally made it to the start of another BoPoseason! I hope you all had a terrific holiday season….I know Bayside Bowl did! It’s been nice to see more and more BoPofaces at the lanes lately, and now the fun really begins with opening night. Some huge scores posted on Tuesday, let’s see if Thursday can keep pace.
I like to start the season off with a shot….just try to handle it a little better than Anderson…
Notice to all you late bowlers…sometimes your match will start a tad after 8. That’s okay, no need to stress too much about it. Parking can be tough….again, that’s no big deal…please don’t use this tactic to find a spot in the alley:
OK, that’s enough, on to the late matches:
DHD (-5) v. Spare of the Dog – Has anyone seen a single person on Spare of the Dog rolling lately? Me neither. They picked up a new lady bowler in Casual Hundo (love the name), but I can’t see them scoring early in the season until they get a few games under their belt.
DHD usually is among the league leaders in practice hours, and they have been putting in work at the lanes. They did make a roster change, sending Corn Nut packing after she couldn’t hang with the party gals of DHD:
Now, in Corn Nut’s defense, she was pregnant. But the ladies of DHD were all like “look how cool we are, nobody can hang with us!”, and then they decided to pose for cool pics on a ping pong table:
Hey now! Take it easy ladies!
Doc Moose will lead the charge for DHD in this one, and I expect an easy win.
Average Bro’s (-1) v. TDYOB – Welcome to Thursday Bro’s! Formerly known as Cape Fear, the Average Bro’s made a big pickup in grabbing The Dentist to round out their Miller Lite pounding crew. The move to Thursday will be a good one for them, as now they only have 1 day to fake it through work after BoPo. I expect them to drink at least 46 Lites tonight.
The Bro’s will threaten for the Thursday A title this season. Not only are they great bowlers, they have been friends since childhood in Cape, so they have each other’s backs. I was able to grab some old home video footage Soccer Dad and Dentists’ father shot way back in the day. Here we see a shirtless Dentist, a Patriotic Northpaw, a head banging banana gun toting Southpaw, Soccer Dad and even a cameo from E Minor at a neighborhood picnic:
Like I said, these guys have history. And they will get their first win tonight.
TDYOB also made an upgrade, bringing in Capt. Spare-O in place of Johnny Side Salad. Side Salad seems to be taking it well:
Should have embraced Clown Penis, dude. TDYOB will get a lot of wins this year, but tonight will probably not be one of them. Chances are they overdo the party, and that usually means poor scores.
Thunder arriving at work tomorrow morning after the overdo on the party:
Roll Another (-3) v. Bad News Spares – Live look in at Striking Senorita trying to get an up close view of the lane conditions in advance of her late match:
Another year, another batch of fun from Bad News Spares, who have never let the results of their bowling dictate their fun.
Roll Another had a change at the top this year, with Uncle Buck becoming the captain after Chupacabra’s semi-retirement. They will get their first win of the year tonight, and follow it up with a loving gaze at their 2016 B Banner on the wall.
Both of these teams do not do a lot of rolling in the off season, so it will be a bit of a grind for both of them. I don’t expect to see huge scores, but in the end I expect to see bigger numbers for Roll Another.
Lesbowlians (-3) v. FC Portland – I love these early season matchups of teams that haven’t been doing a lot of rolling. Never know quite what to expect. We’ve all seen Tilt-A-Whirl rolling a bit, but Ollie Bubba has been too busy rocking out to Whitney Houston music to make it in for much practice….classic Ollie Bubba.
Oolie….haven’t seen him. Wut What….haven’t seen him. Ram Rod….I did see him at the Captian’s Party, but haven’t seen him rolling a lot either.
All of this says that we should not expect huge scores in this match, however somebody has to win so I’ll go with the Lesbowlians. And then they’ll pop some champagne to celebrate!
Happy Hands Productions (-1) v. ICBING - ICBING decided to go with the BEER plan of creating a huge team thinking that will work out just fine. Fabio will be there most nights, but 2 Dogs Fucking is about to have a child, so he and Mrs. 2 Dogs will be out a lot. Rocky Balbowla lives half his life at sea. Clarified is retired. Peanut Gutter will show up like 3 times…but when he does show up, watch the fuck out:
All of which will lead to uneven results.
Pretty sure Happy Hands are staying with the same roster from last year, so we’ll see the usual porn names like Max Shipp and Mookie Oak on the regular. And for some reason I think they will get their first win of the season tonight. ICBING will get the top points, but after that it’s a battle.
Party Mix (-3) v. Bowlhemian Strike City – This is should be a fantastic party. And this one will go later than all the other matches (except maybe the TDYOB match).
Party Mix had a very solid season last year, and had a lot of their team in Draft League this fall as they hope to repeat the success of 2018. Here’s Big Party getting loose for the match:
Smoooooooth…Let’s not forget they also have the loving couple of Hakeem and Bowl Murray, early front runners for the PDA award this season. Take a look at their first kiss:
Can’t you just feel the love in that video?
Strike City returns looking to dominate the fun again, and frankly I like their chances. Magnus is our resident Lumberjack, and spent his off season fine tuning his outdoor skills:
Quite the assist from his teammate there.
Have fun tonight everyone! Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuursday!!!