Quick PSA before the lines. I understand the need for a good ‘car party’. That said, keep the car party outside of Bayside, show a little respect for me and the business. We will have to kick you out for the night if that’s going on inside. Thanks.
#1 Walter (3-0) -5 vs The Six Tits (1-2): Walter may never name his team at this rate. I keep naming new #1 teams then Walter beats them. Now they get the target. Viking’s been doing the heavy lifting with a sparkling 219 average. His team now rides into this match against the Six Tits as heavy favorites for the first time . G Boi is holding his own, and Lala’s 180 avererage is good for 3rd among women, but after that it’s been a drop off. Swanny needs to have a night for any chance at the upset. Here’s a haunting look into Viking’s new pregame routine this year that has him bowling so well.
Spared No Expense (1-2) -9 vs Shirtless Fuckers (0-3): This is bad timing for the Fuckers. They are still looking for their first win, but face an angry SNE squad that is 1-2 after all the preseason hype. A couple of Lewiston rookies go head to head with Abralon taking on King Ding Dong. The Donger has been a beast, with a 206 average. Abralon is still adjusting, but he’s got Mossy (219) and Jr Hoss (186) around him. KDD doesn’t have anybody over 160 on his squad at the moment. Here’s all of Glossy’s squad taking aim at King Ding Ding Dong.
Cakeballs II (1-2) -1 vs The Dream Team (1-2): Tommy Gunzz is on a rampage, sporting a gaudy 233 average that finally paid off in a team win last week. Scores this year are insane! A prime example is two weeks ago when the Dream Team went down big despite a 240 average from Couch. The shootouts are wild, but every team seems to have someone capable, so depth has taken center stage. Thus these teams are both sitting at 1-2 in need of a big win, as the Dream Team’s 2nd rated bowler is currently #60, and Cakeball’s is #83. I’m going with cake based on Gunzz dominance and an expected breakout game from McCracken. Release McCracken!
Bae Side Rollers (2-1) -7 vs Whiskey Shooters (0-3): Long season ahead for the Shooters. All Day Lemay is killing it, but the Soccer Dad/Dentist split was a bust when it turned out the Dentist was bowling lefty. They need more Dad. Meanwhile Cheese and Mama D are just doing their thing, sprinkling a little salt on it. Here’s Tron contributing what he can to make up for his bowling average.
Guy can cook.
Hexy’s Hooligans (2-1) -3 vs The Titans (2-1): Six of the seven teams in this division are 2-1. Weird. After a slow start in his Draft League debut, draft darling Herb’n Legend has been lights out, climbing forma 170 average after week one to his current 214. One spot below him in the stats? Precious. I wasn’t sure he’d attend much, but he’s got 5 games and a hefty 212 average. Not too shabby. I’ll take Hexy, though. Lobsteran has been solid and they won’t be intimidated by the height differential. Here are the Hooligans chasing down a surprisingly resilient Iceberg.
Murder of Crows (2-1) -15 vs Pineapple (0-3):
West Side
Magic’s Gathering (2-1) -5 vs Truth Hurts (2-1): Magic’s team returns to the site of their only loss, the high scoring Wild West. Ripcord still sporting a disgusting 246 average. Must be weird to roll a couple low 240s and watch your average drop. Meanwhile teammate Brooklyn has a totally under the radar 211 average. Yikes. Squeaky G is having a stellar start for Truth Hurts, shockingly his 196 average is only good for 27th place. Average inflation is real! Nugget has a strong team but Magic’s Gathering is a powerful force. Here’s Buck and Brooklyn getting comfortable with the Magic vibe.