Week 3 Lines From a 2-0 Doctor

Yet another PSA, just because you write a blog or YELP review that no one reads doesn’t give you the right to treat the staff like shit.  Also, just because you need a drink doesn’t give you the right to catcall to one of the folks working the lanes.  There are two of them, you need a drink that bad to get over your 1-4 frame go to the bar if you don’t have the patience to wait, it’s all the same tab.  Pay your tab, go get your wallet and pay your tab, don’t expect free drinks, if you cannot afford to go out don’t.  These aren’t hard rules to follow guys.  Treat the staff with respect.  Trust me as a waiter for 5 years it’s not an easy gig, everyone is doing their best to get to you as quickly as possible.  I can also say this when I was a waiter I was the last guy you wanted to fuck with.  You fuck with me you get fucked with that’s a fact Jack!  Continue to be a douche and you will find yourself unable to hang out at one of the hottest spots in town and no one wants that!  Stay classy BoPo!

Snoozefest:

Drama Llamas (2-0) -3 versus There May Be Strikes (0-2):  Hungus has done it once again.  May have to call this guy the New Thunder when it comes to drafting teams.  When Slow Roll was captain they actually made the playoffs.  Hungus went like 700 last week and this band of misfits still got shelled.  Fuge is a fucking garbage can when it comes to bowling.  Slow Roll hasn’t broken 150 in 2 years.  Tango is now married congrats on the nuptials kids, so who the hell knows.  Lots of BoPo love and pregnancy going around get it while it’s hot!  Other side you got Dick and what he calls “My boring ass team, but hey at least we win.”  Well they will bore Hungus to death in this one and move to 3-0, here is Hungus on Slow Roll on the ride home after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJz18c6gw8c

Get some therapy Hungus or some meds bro!

Nuclear Banana (2-0) -5 versus Diesel’s Team Doesn’t Have a Team Name Because Diesel is an Unimaginative Bum:  Now I know, I know you will see the doctor’s name isn’t all that imaginative either but:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgXNeGGrN6U

Chernobe’s team is laying waste to the league.  Sport the highest average by far and look destined for a draft title, this one will not be close.

Here is HBK standing over Diesel after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9z8F4fgj6Q

Magic the Gathering (1-1) -1 versus Saint Hexy’s Hooligans (0-2):  Burt the Bandit has been absolute fucking trash.  Looks like that 200 average last year was an anomaly and he is back where he belongs in the 160s.  I thought about favoring Hex tonight, but I don’t see her squad winning one all year so I give the nod to Magic whose team is also a mess.  Hey someone has to win.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVtG-UNjqP4

Here is Burt getting his skate on after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Q1sBtEMY0

X Force (1-1) -7 versus UDFA (0-2):  CJ’s team is an absolute dumpster fire sporting a 544 average, wow that’s one terrible team right there.  This ends quickly.  Hang in there UDFA your slow, prolonged painful death will send sometime in November.  Xander hasn’t been this happy since Spare-O kicked him to the curb to join TDYOB:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ440xOiyho

Mo$ Problems (1-1) -1 versus Just the Tip (0-2):  Speaking of shitty expansion teams that Hungus put in his division so he would have a chance to make the Draft League playoffs and then still not make them for the first time as a captain here is Just the Tips.  Lucky for them Mo Problems is rolling like an expansion team so this will be close.

Here is Railroad and Mo$ talking on phone after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT_pl68YX48

The Ex Presidents (0-2) +1 Boposapines (1-1):  Cheese took his ex-lover Precious in the first rond and no one took him off Cheese’s hands because you can’t trust the guy to show up and when he does he wears a Make America Great Again hat which is a total buzzkill.  If Precious shows I favor he and Cheese to take down Roadhead and crew, but you can’t trust the guy.  Check that just looked at Roadhead’s roster, I’m favoring Cheese’s squad regardless who shows:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RprMPis226k

Party Time:

BTTTTRA (2-0) -10 versus Pamola Strikes (0-2):  Doc Moose took a guy straight out of the retirement home in round one and it got worse from there.  No Thunder tonight means this is third match in a row Also wins in 2 games.  The bottom of Doc’s roster goes to low to keep up with Twisted and Brooklyn getting all three.  Marne Asada makes her draft debut tonight in this blow out.  Here is Brooklyn trying to console his pops and Doc Moose after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlV6A3BLVBE

Titty’s Bangers (0-2) -3 versus Buy the Ticket Take the Losses (0-2):  Farmer’s team is the worst in the division with only team average under 600.  Jerk is a shell or his former self, even with him getting 3 tonight with Farmer gone still have them losing because Bowl Murray is dreadful, she can barely keep the ball on the lane and already lost her shirt.  Buck has to be getting sick of all the losing despite a 240 average and goes big tonight.  If Titty only rolls herself once and gives Buck 3 they could win.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz4IAE6Qc5g

That’s literally gonna be Farmer’s team all year, these guys are bad.

Bowler’s Union (2-0) -10 versus Cocktails and Creams (2-0):  Glossy’s squad’s record is a house of cards built on a 615 average.  Town on the other hand bringing heat at 650.  Expect Mitch to put a Cumstein on Glossy’s back tonight in a big win.  Glossy’s night:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFO9EiXFG4c

Sex on Saturdays (1-1) -3 versus Spare Ribs (2-0):  Insanal team is magically 2-0 after blowing a first round pick on Ruby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RePybi45jO0

However, tonight Insanal isn’t there which spells doom for Spare Ribs.  Sex on Saturdays despite having Dick Whitman is pretty good, expect them to roll in this one!  Here is Dutch after match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgMLxG-0hq8

Pullout Couch (2-0) -5 versus The Love Boat:  You can bet this one like it has already been played.  Ginger Ninja been hot for Walter when he can find his wallet.  Rick has Pineapple and Tron who combine for a 110 average.  I was going to favor Walter crew by 15 then got wind Pineapple and Tron won’t be there which will at least allow Ricky and crew to lose with honor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKzaZor_x7o

Draughts on Tap (2-0) -10 versus Big Party:  Cheddar fresh off getting kicked off a team he owns will find some solace in moving to 3-0.  Big Party is just happy to be there, they lose easy.  Not a lot of time folks Thunder has shit to do, will try better next time when my homie is back in town and we split the lines:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZFF5q_KgAI

Have fun and get loose!  Bummed to miss it moronic vacation planning with zero thought for bowling, ouch, gonna have to sit on that 123 for another week, rolling like Jamaican Jerk out there!

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