Tuesday’s Back

Alright, Hungus taking a stab at early games here, and Thunder has late.  Quick note – starting this week BoPoers can get any pitcher for $20…lunch, lone pine, mast, whatever – on BoPo nights.  Or keep drinking 22 cases of miller lite per week, your call.

Early

Sharks (3-0) -3 vs O.C. (2-1): OC off to a nice start, but Sharks are still next level.  Jr Hoss has started to turn it around, but this is Mama D’s team.  She’ll battle for top point each round.  Sharks should have their full roster, though.  They have won all their games in 2 rounds so far.  This may be their toughest challenge so far but I think they stay undefeated.

S.O.D. (2-1) -3 vs Saucy Posse (2-1): Another big game in Tuesday A.  S.O.D. had a huge shootout with their old buddy Dentist and his Bros last week, leading to one of two (2!) week three bowloffs.  They pulled it off in a big way with a huge baker game.  Rev Lord and Couch are proving to be a solid 1-2 punch for Capt Deez.  SauPo is doing just fine, thank you very much.  Master Splinter is slowly getting his knee back in shape, and Nut Sauce is dominating.  They do need some Beef, however, with Hot Sauce riding the pine.  I think SOD grabs another win.

B.A.R.E. (0-3) -1 vs Budweisers (2-1): Upset alert! BARE may be 0-3, but they have a slightly higher average than the 2-1 Buds.  I don’t know what to make of the Buds post-Ric Spair.  BARE’s hungry for a win, I think desperation breeds success in this case.

Wrecking Balls (2-1) -1 vs Hookers (2-1): Both of these guys are coming off huge wins last week, knocking off the undefeated Trolls and Mindz in the Gutter.  The winner will be in a really strong position for the rest of the year in Tuesday B.  The Balls were built to win, and I still think they have a good shot at winning B – just put the phones down!  The Hookers are no pushovers though.  Definitely some bolwoff potential.

Poultry Ass (2-0) -1 vs Ball That (3-0): Huge game for first place!  The expansion Poultry Ass have been as advertised, cruising so far.  They have a strong squad and they are hunting for a banner.  Ball That has years of losing A experience and are ready to take it out on B.  Squampch vs Iceberg going to be a showdown.

Bowl Trolls (2-1) -1 vs Minds in the Gutter (2-1): Another huge B game – great slate of early games tonight.  The Defending B Champ Trolls took a loss last week, it won’t be like last year’s 9-0 start.  They have a lot of hungry challengers to the throne.  MIG is one of those challengers.  They didn’t expect to be competing for a title right off, but after their start may be reconsidering what they are capable of.  A win over the Trolls would be a huge statement.

Late from Thunder

Oddballs (1-2) -11 versus Spare of the Dogs (0-3):  This is a PBA Cheetah pattern if you don’t put in work on it things could go bad. Or like me you can put in work on it and still be a 140 guy. Sometimes life gets in the way and you don’t put the time in but win or lose you come in and tear your night up. That’s Spare of the Dogs the team with the best uniforms in the league return to their Tuesday night roots. While the on lanes results may not be great expect the party to tick up a bit. It also appears when you forget how to bowl you also lose your sense of humor I’m looking at you Jewdy. So, let me tell you what I really think about this crew. Spare of the Dogs is one of the most fun loving crews to ever hit Bowl Portland. They go hard on and off the lanes. Mona keeps these dawgs on a short leash and is one of the flyest captains and all around great people in the league and on the staff. Huge Mona fan. Casual Hundo is a great addition to the team with her effervescent personality and constant smile. The bowling will only go up. Now to the dawgs. Yao Romo you will never meet a better all-around man. There has to something great about this guy to hang out with these three shitheads. Probie is an energy upon energy guy that travels a long way to stay in this league and makes it in once a week. Sometimes he strikes sometimes he doesn’t but that never effects the guy. 189 or 89 dude is partying down. Bombpop is the lady killer of the group with his Hollywood looks brash attitude and go fuck yourself personality love this dude. He was shocked when I told him it was a PBA pattern last Thursday. Was basically like “Fuck us!” yep. And then there is the littlest dawg out of the bunch Jewdy. You know that dawg. It’s got Napoleon complex because it hangs out with other big dawgs. It’s got the lowest tolerance and biggest chip on its shoulder and if you fuck with any of the other dawgs you get the teeth. The biggest shit talker out of the bunch who makes a real impact in his community and in other people’s lives on a daily basis. I love this dawg. That better boys?  Now go fuck yourselves looking good forward to stomping you on our true home Thursday night next week!

On the other side of the pair oddballs had their seasons doomed when Thunder drafted Brooklyn and Twisted Tea and HBK won draft league. Former two crushed for life, latter resting on his laurels. Tinderella had a big week and may be the case. But while everyone else expect Hazzard got better on Tuesday night they stood pat for most part only bringing in Nugget who is starting to round into form. Look for the them to either get it going or be a Tuesday A Banner League doormat. That said as the Dogs focusing on party bowling first they pull even in this one.

Here are the guys from both teams in a tug of war post-game.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zcOXHl8vaoA

Little known fact the doctor was a tug of war monster back in the mid 90’s at Phi Gamma Delta losing multiple Greek week finals to houses that did steroids but played no sports.

XXX Club (1-2) -1 versus Bingas (1-2):  Two former champions lock horns in what is one of the most enjoyable matches of the season.  In regard to Hungus snow day post want to know what BoPo is all about?  Well then pull up a chair and check out this match!  Jim Tom the XXX Club mascot usually gets used and abused in this one and pieces of the Bingas shrine always seem to go missing.  Hard one to handicap not much separating them in team average.  Chernobyl and Bora have almost identical averages on the lady side.  Koops and Knuckles are off to slow starts but usually bring it in matches such as these.  Then there are stud dude bowlers on all side of the equation and Jerk and G Boi are primed to breakout, but I give advantage to Buck who is due a huge night.  Expect a lot of shots in this one, Dawn slip in a water shot for Jerk.  Shot of Jerk on the links this summer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6YBBgOXslo

Swing Richards (3-0) -15 versus Strikes of Hazzard (0-3):  Swinging Richards FU tour continues.  3 800 games last week and a 771 average and Deputy in year 5 of Slowinski is Top Dog at the moment with a 214 average, these guys are in the zone and move to 4-0.  Hazzard has team average up from 536 to 642 so they are heading in right direction and will start putting up a little bit more of a fight than they did early in the year. Editors note: I screwed up their average on standings sheet. Unfortunately, this won’t be the night as they run into a buzz saw.  Shot of Sparkles getting home after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfwwCpAy0-0

Splits Happen (1-1) -3 versus Incredibowls (1-2):  As Biz Markie would say the Incredibowls have hit the vapors:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv3sAFe1FCM

Entire squad is on the struggle bus as they are still reeling from the loss of Spidey who wants to make America Great again and has made NED worse.  Boston and God of Thunder need to do less complaining about the DJ and more picking up spares.  I also need to pick up more spares but am a DJ lover.  Splits Happen lost their captain and got better.  Xander must have been a real Debbie Downer.  Splits crushing that mid-level depth thing.  I think they use that to their advantage on a late pair as GOT falls asleep and gets driven insane by the phat phat beats:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wg-lUuDhWQM

NED (0-3) -15 versus Whomp Spare It Is (0-2):  NED is 0-3 and totally out of running for a B title and due to the smack that Tush and Burt talk everyone is loving it.  Their luck changes tonight as Whomp limps in with a squad that is barely breaking 500 on the regular.  That means NED leaves the lanes with a smile on their faces first time in a long time.  Here are Burt and Tush celebrating the win:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8DtQVvaW6M

That’s one hell of a celebration.  Tampon Santa BoPo turns it lonely eyes to you.

BEER (2-1) -3 versus YB2 (1-1):  This one is a lot closer than one would initially think, as only 8 pins separates them in average.  The thought was YB2 would have a rude awakening coming to Banner League, but they have held their own.  Crackerjack is off to his usual stellar start and sporting a 204 average.  All Day making a run at Top B with a 188 average, Mater, Pete and Black Widow are in the 160 range and ITZ like the rest of us that don’t bowl every single day finds himself in the 140 range.  This is a grudge match as YB knocked out BEER in first round of the playoffs in 2012 sending Hungus into a spiral of depression and ending with LouDawg pouring a beer on Cheddar’s head as he sat slumped against the bench in achilles agony after yet another miss.  That was the match where Filthy told me, “Hungus literally cannot count.  I’m on struggle bus, fool tells me to get 20 in 10th I win my point.  I did and lost my point by 30!”  Apparently, they don’t have math courses at Tufts?  BEER has yet to hit their stride as they have been playing musical chair bowlers, but I expect them to load up in this one.  Herb, Railroad and Hungus all sit north of 180 and none of them have had a huge one yet.  Expect that to change tonight.  Also, Hungus called out the whole league about lack of partying so please make sure to keep BEER honest this evening.  Also, sweet news, new Bowl Portland night offer $20 all pitchers no matter the brand.  Sign up Cheese Thursday for a half lunch half Peeper, which will have two sips taken out of it by Team LOS.  Lots of bowlers on BEER, if they make right substitution calls this evening they should escape with a win in game 3.  Here are the guys from BEER deciding who has to sit out tonight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n97MVhboBus

“I am not a boner machine.”

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