Hello everyone, so nice to be back writing these lines for you. With a new season upon us, great to be using the name Statler this season. As usual, this is all garbage, but the videos are actually funny (at least to us), so be sure to take the time to watch some funny stuff.
OK, on to the late matchups:
Bad New Spares v Party Mix (-7) – Don’t sleep on Party Mix in the Thursday B division. G Force was talking them up big time on the podcast right before we almost killed the guy. That’ll teach him to roll those big scores against us week 1…
Party Mix has added Left Beef, Big Party is rolling better, Hakeem is on the rise, Bowl Murray is a great add to the league…I like this crew. Bad News Spares will have a fun night (they always do and always will), but they won’t get a ton of points off of Party Mix. The biggest battles will be for the 3rd and 4th points, and the Bad News Spares will get a few, but this match goes to Party Mix. And then Big Party, Brown Michael Cox, and Left Beef do this…
Granola Rollahs v. Roll Another (-5) – With the news that there will be a B Division Banner, the folks of Roll Another will get a win to remind everyone that they are the original B Division champs.
I’m not familiar with much (if any) changes for these squads, so I am basing this pick on absolutely nothing. I mean, I know Chupacabra is a fun guy, and Uncle Buck and The Package and Bones are long time BoPo’ers who will get a free shot for their terms of service to the league tonight, but beyond that I’m out of material. Remind me to save the stats from the previous year to help me predict these early season matchups.
After some of the coldest weeks in a while, the parental units of Granola will need a getaway to the warm and friendly confines of Bayside Bowl on Thursday night. I think it’s safe to assume that most of this team hasn’t picked up a bowling ball since April, so expect some erratic scores and results. Kid Loose hasn’t been able to bust out his sweet old break dancing moves in months, so look for him to pop-n-lock a bit after rolling a 7 on his first ball of the season. Here he is practicing his moves at Best Buy this holiday season:
Lesbowlians (-5) v. Puds Taxi – This one will go to the Lesbowlians, should be a comfortable win for them. They have been spotted having some team practices, and that shit matters, especially early in the season. Pretty sure Puds Taxi will be rolling bowling balls for the first time in months at this match.
The parking lot at Bayside is a lot nicer than it was, but it does sometimes resemble the parking lot at the mall on Christmas. No worries if you are a Lesbowlian, these ladies know how to pass the time in a Bayside parking lot traffic jam! Pretty sure that’s Tilt-A-Whirl and Keglinger making it happen out there…
Leisure Rolls v. BUI (-1) – Both teams will be having their second match of the week in this one, but Leisure Rolls will be doing their second match of the night! And that will lead to some tired arms, and a close loss for Leisure Rolls.
BUI opened their week traveling to Tuesday for a dose of reality…Tuesday A is a tough division. BUI will be top half of Thursday A, and get it started with a win tonight. They have a lot of solid bowlers, so in this battle of mid-level depth, I give the nod to BUI.
Snapshot really was the king of the roof this summer. The guy was up there daily, slow sipping a Moosehead and reading a book or some shit like that. Hungus even had a pageant on the roof…the finalists were Snapshot, Double Cheddar, and Side Salad…watch Snapshot get his crown!
5 Finger v. TDYOB (-3) – Spoiler alert, neither of these teams are going to win a ton this year. But TDYOB is going to beat 5 Finger tonight. It’s not often I can say that TDYOB is stronger than their opponents, but this is one week when I can say that. Side Salad tried to cut off a finger last week (sadly not his bowling hand, so he’ll get his 2 games tonight), but even he can’t derail a TDYOB win this week.
Of course, last year 5 Finger killed TDYOB (it was an early match, so Bork really had no shot), so anything can happen. But this year, no win for 5 Finger over Bork. I think Dutch and company are in for a tough run as their new-look squad will struggle. No way their team average stays at 560, but also unlikely they get a win tonight.
TDYOB is hungry to get that first win of the year, take a look at Thunder greeting the squad for their match.
True story: Thunder cut the sleeves off of his first BoPo jersey. And regretted it when he realized how bad it looked. #thatswhytheycallitdope
Game of the Night!! YB2 (-3) v. Guacabowle – Lest we forget, Y&B2 should have been celebrating seeing their own banner hung at Bayside this week. They were up 7-3 in the semis over eventual champions Saucy Posse, and somehow let it slip away. Here is the analogy of their semifinals last year…everything is going along just fine…and then this..be sure to watch through the 1 minute mark:
Mo $ rolled a 232 in that semi-final match, and then promptly left for the greener pastures of TDYOB. Mystery Powers moved to New York, so it’s all new ladies on this team this year with All Day Lemay and Milli Rocket. When you have my preseason pick for Top Dog in Glossy, plus Crackerjack, plus silky smooth Pistol Pete and Senator ITZ you will win a ton of games in this league.
Speaking of Glossy, the dude is a new man this season…the guy is going to break out big time. He won draft league this year, and is continuing to roll like a huge stud. And if you live in SoPo, hook the guy up as a DD every once in a while…the guy has been getting home in some interesting ways lately…here we see a few of BoPo’s finest running into Glossy heading home after Draft League finals this year:
Sorry dude, KFC is definitely not open.
Guacabowle has some huge scores in their loss to Lion’s Den opening week, and I applaud Sparetime rolling a 236 and then sitting himself to top the stats page. Well played. I don’t expect that average to survive week 2….but I barely survived to post game at Howie’s last week either! It’s better to get YB2 early in the season when some of their team hasn’t been rolling as much, but Guac won’t be able to get the 8 points they need for a win and will drop to 0-2 early this season.
Good luck to everyone this season, may your winter be filled with tons of fun on the lanes and maybe, just maybe, one win at HQ… See you out there!