Quite a boring Super Bowl win for the Pats. Got to see my third New England Patriots parade Tuesday….they never cease to be a boring as hell unless you are a high school student who skipped school, drank 12 Bud Lights, and then screamed at your heroes until you were hoarse, stopping at Pizzaria Regina on the way back to the train to get a slice. I missed the brawls, all I had was good vibes where I was watching. It was actually the fifth Super Bowl Parade I have seen, when I was working in New York I got see Giants Parades after they ripped the hearts out of New England fans everywhere….twice.
OK, fuck football, it’s bowling season! DJ Jon playing tunes for us all this evening, let’s bring it! Two months until the PBA is back in town on the BoPo Side, which means we have limited chances to beat up the lanes before they arrive.
I have the late matches this week, and we will start with former BoPo champs LOS:
TDYOB (-1) v. LOS – This ain’t the LOS of 2014, crushing pins and hanging a poop colored banner on the wall. No sireeBob, this is 2019. Shithawk ain’t walking through that door. A version of Mr. Stiffy that knows how to bowl isn’t walking through that door. Cheese isn’t walking through…..errrr, scratch that, Cheese just walked in that door for the 4th time this week.
TDYOB is quietly (quiet in their own way) rolling well. Farmeris a 180 guy, and Spare-O and Munson are over 170, with each having some big games this season. Mo$ has a 162 average and is feeling great on this pattern. And Thunder has just figured it out after a ball change and a quick tune up from Master Splinter. Which means this one will get super loud with confident Thunder raining the occasional Brooklyn strike down on LOS.
It’s a late match, which means Precious is a definite maybe to show up. Putt Putt Pass continues to lead Thursday in average, driving Cheese insane. Who knows if Ho-Town or Big Gulps Huh? will show up. LOS will get their points, but not enough to get the win tonight. Spooky, Strike Dancer and Corn Nut will battle for very important points in this one.
Here is how Farmer, Munson and Thunder met Spare-O (great bucket hat Thunder! I think we need a bucket hat game this week!):
Party Mix (-5) v. Bowlderdash – Welcome back to the league Party Mix! This team has been on a two week break, they had their bye 2 weeks ago and had to reschedule last weeks match because Big Party couldn’t handle another BoPo night in Dry January. Now that it’s February, expect to see their team arrive at the lanes like this:
Farmer could always use a ride, gents!! Anyway, I don’t see them losing this match to Bowlderdash. If I gave you 3 guesses at who has the highest average in this match, you would likely name the following BoPo’ers:
Shout out to Left Beef for being the ace in this matchup! I think the steady doses of booze, weed, kombucha, and scores in the 150s will get Party Mix the win. Speaking of Hakeem and Bowl Murray, they went crazy with the two week break, they even went to an outdoor concert at Monument Square (in case you don’t know this, a lot of these links could be considered NSFW, especially this next one):
ICBING (-7) v. 5 Finger Discount – Rocky Balbowla had his feelings hurt that he and his 153 average aren’t getting the publicity he thinks he deserves. Let me get this straight…the third best guy average on the team, and you want us all to praise you….who do you think you are, Roy Munson? Anyway, please accept this apology:
5 Finger Discount will continue their rebuild, and will struggle against one of the B favorites for the year. Slugga is leading the team currently, with Rufio! and part-timer Poto offereing up some support. Log Jammer and Squirrelly are not rolling great, and I think ultimately that will be the difference in this one.
ICBING is really hoping they will be on the adjacent pair of their good friends rolling in this next match.
Urea! (-5) v. Granola Bowlahs – Granola returned to their roots last week and delivered some samples of their actual granola to their opponents. Roll Another nibbled their way through it enroute to a loss to Granola last week. I expect them to try the same tactics this week. Here is C-Murda trying some from Moyhem.
Moyhem and Sugar were bringing great energy last week, as they tend to do every week. Moyhem’s 2-handed style is really working out….just kidding, it’s not working out at all (yet). Maybe he needs some tips from Strike Dancer. Plowman has the best average of their regulars, but his 139.7 is far lower than Casual T, C-Murda and Dixie Rector (love the name). Urea! was upset last time they rolled under the Friday Night Lights, but they get back in the win column tonight.
Should be noted that Granola has a bowler named Bama on their squad. Looks like this version of the name isn’t quite as good as the original.
Name Change might be in order.
THIS GAME HAS BEEN MOVED TO MONDAY AT 6: Happy Hands (-1) v. Pinny Candy – A huge match in Thursday B, with both of these teams in playoff spots, this will be a big result for tie-breakers at the end of the season. It’s a late match, here is Payday waiting to bowl:
Chunk is by far the stud of the match, so pencil him in for a couple of top points (even if he did see a big slide in the average last week). Mookie Oak and Pepi Hooker will need to keep up with Payday, Twizzler and Dots to get those middle points. And all the part-timers on Happy Hands will have to carry a couple bottom points to get them the win. This will be a close one, andgive me HHP by 1. Excellent bowl-off potential, which will make this match go longer than the TDYOB/LOS match!
B&B (-1) v. FC Portland – Upset Alert!! Sort of. FC Portland started the year hot, but now they are joining the huge group of teams in the middle of Thursday B. Bowled and Beautiful started a bit slower than they thought, but they are on the rise so give me B&B in a tight one.
Ramrod thinking about the match today…you’ll know which one is him easy enough in this video:
Randy Ram holds a special place in the stat sheet as the bowler with the lowest average that also has a 200. A 114 average over 5 games with a 200!? Must have some awful games to get that average. And in case you were wondering the bowler with the highest average and zero 200’s is T&T’s Hambone.
As predicted in last week’s writeups, Ruby Canary has taken over the team lead in average over Strike Tyson. And captain Beaujolais has the worst average on her team. Good thing she’s captain, or Ruby would be benching her. Come on Beaujolais, lets get it together! Stop baking novelty cakes for your Aunt Betsy:
DJ Jon, will you be playing any Dub Step?
How about my favorite dance tune?: