we bowl they bowl we bowl they bowl and we all fall down. LESBOWLIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! yipyipyip…..still on the comeback trail; fortunately tonite is the one for fun…. so lets do that. that.
though this season has come to us in the crawling-est of ways there do be seeming for to have in air some curvature displacing the shadow of our own dismissiveness. which wethinks may bring forth a light so bright as to entangle the circuitry innards of tonights opponents. we rise, very late in the afternoon, as living, breathing, brain-thinking humans. bowlers in the first degree. beware cyborg bunnies. the pud cometh…….
yo Puds great game last night, that was super fun and down to the wire, absolute blast, great last game by you guys! Bullet the Borkers got you down as MVP, amazing consistency, we dig your style.
considering neither of us remember even getting to the alley last week, i suppose whatever the outcome of last years meeting with tonights opponents is equally un-important. what IS important, however, would be that we each in our own puddish way bring something to the lanes this evening that would make that great big pud in the sky beam with the happiness of complete and utter victory. can we do that? don’t answer. it’s rhetorical. let’s get ‘em puds!! fuzzy, you got the high five cream?
I’d be watchin y’all destroy the team that I love to hate and I hate to love, if I wasn’t entangled in our own mess of a match. Please make Puddy proud! splash splendid splintering pins
o-k puddlies, we’ve got 48 hours to re-kindle the sputtering flame of our indecently enormous ego-structure. we have lived, these many weeks, to bowl, to not bowl is death. all encompassing nothing remains death. and what, i shudder to ask, would a world without pud look like? i think i got a glimpse on my first peyote journey. f***ing grim. so what do we need to do to advance? strataghee 23 did not work. CAKSRA PAKSA did not work. summoning, for christs sake, did not work. ( f***ing willy wonka religion). beyonce worked a bit. there is only one thing that has never let us down. one thing that we have always done and won. ( besides our confused beginnings with roll another). and fortunately for us it is a simple thing. a fretless unthinking device which always brings us the good balls: rolling for puddy. that’s it. not for ourselves, or for complete and utter domination. for puddy. team. for puddy. TEAM!!! eliminate the non-puddy and clarity of roll will be ours. forever and for always. just like luther sings. just like motherf***ing luther sings………………………. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7enLvzlUN4
what’s with all the right and wrong? both these motherhumpers have a place in the musical pantheon of smooth. shake it off, brother. shake it off. let’s just roll and have a good time. be seeing you…
what’s the scouting report on the urban deceivers? Yu played ‘em a couple weeks back. is it a “nobody bowls above 170, but no one bowls below 120″ situation?
that’s about it. but they also hold the worlds record for consecutive days without showing emotion while consuming the souls of small children. don’t look them in the eyes, and pretend each one of them has a tom selleck just above the ass crack. they’re a strong(stiff) team, bend them in your ulian way and they just may snap. good luck, lover. we’ll be in lane hell dealing with a gash or two.
alright sons a bitches. tonight we add another notch to the ever expanding pole of our pudness. but remember, this is one of our favourite teams. next week: total f***ing gash attack. tonight: we stroke the gash. make it feel wanted. belabor it with the loving attention that only a true pud can offer. honey, thanks for the lap dance. hope to see you at the lanes. oh my gash, tonight is going to be so much fun!!
ok…. so maybe the last two games were a little like taking a shit in our own mouths. big deal. we’ve been thru worse. remember the acrobatic melt-down at the sex toy convention? we’re still breathing. let’s allow next weeks game to be the oral toilet paper to send us into the sweet sixteen with breath as fresh as a backspin into a headspin. keep your heads to the sky and your organs inside ya. and remember in the immortal words of donny osmond, “success sometimes can really bite you in the shorts.” yup.
once, after imbibing a concoction at a balinese shadow-puppet display, i was led to believe that god HER/HIM SELF had appeared before me and that he/she was indeed a fourteen year old male balinese prostitute named CAKRA PAKSA. i was then led to a small room in the back of the theater where i was forced to act out scenes from Three’s Company while God/little boy drove nails into a wooden image of a penguin. finally, when i had exhausted my Three’s Company repertoire and he/she had completely obliterated the wooden penguin, CAKRA PAKSA turned to me and said these words, (in Balinese) ” i am indebted to you, my friend, for assisting me with the ritual of Sell A Mutt Buggy (ultimately untranslatable, i have given the phonetic spelling.) if in the future you need my help, with anything, please summon me by calling out my name three times then three more.” i was led away to my hut and fell asleep for five days. i’m telling you all this, great pud’s, because when i had his message translated for me, once i returned to the states, his name translated as ‘disc or ball force’. it meant nothing to me at the time. but now i realize what moment he was speaking of. so tonight let CAKRA PAKSA be our war cry to the tippety top of the bowling universe!!!!!!!!!! let us finally bask in the glory of what has been written from time zero. FOR CAKRA!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY ALL WOODEN PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We of the sea-foam green need to summon the power of Puddy, for this coming Tuesday is indeed St. Puddy’s Day. Normal humans (poor bastards) believe in the traditional earthly green, but we know that the sea’s green is far more powerful and rollificent, so it is time, in this the 11th Hour, to knock the pins back to their true home; the sea. There, they will float in peace and harmony, rolling in the waves for our patron saint of the pins, Saint Puddy, to bless and return to us for the playoffs.
ok lads and lady this being the last week of regular rolling i think its time we apply strataghee number 23. i’ll bring the slingshots. honey, the syrup(of course). dink, the laser sight. crips, the windowpane. and slappy, this is vital, collect and bring as many squirrels as is humanly possible for one human. one huge and sexy human. ok, team? these guys have headbands.
No amount of squirrels will overcome the power of our headbands. St. Patrick will be smiling down upon us and we hope that you join us in enjoying some whiskey, on this, the last day of regular season.
Dearest Team, o’ how unfortunate for the weather… the sun is shining the tiny twigs of the maple trees are vibrating and calling the mullet northward, northward, following the flow. Who knows when the mullet will return, but not until the sap has stopped flowing and the steam has stopped rising….leaving the liquid behind that is well known to put the fear in even the toughest FBI agent’s heart(not to mention the tiny hearts of our opponents). At last while the mullet will be getting damp with maple steam your own brows will be getting damp with that life passion called ‘rolling’. So roll well until I return. Keep you eyes pealed and when you most need it throw a high five into the air and the sap goddess will arrive promptly in a Pud’s Taxi and fog the eyes of all but you. BOWL TO WIN. TAKE PRISIONERS and to hell with following the army handbook.
team! this is the week for dancing rain. one palaver, two palaver, three palaver, four………. i have fully memorized Dick Hoovers’ ‘Bowling for Teens’. in the eyes of our once great Driver we must again descend and pluck the pupae of our allness from his greatly booming organ. capiche?
Cuppy… the lord of the web claims we can’t win our Joyous Division… one eighty from you tonighty. Dink tells me he’s rolling over two. Crips, well Crips is beating all of us and Slappy isn’t picking up the dispatch phone so your guess is as good as mine. So put down the bottle, get some shut eye, and I’ll see you at Bubbah’s at six to get our prime on.
this be what talk about. the bottle is in me. cannot put me down. hallelujah. when balls roll i get inner calm. in her calm. in her. are you reading this?
you sure the marbling and sheen aren’t just discharge? we personally won’t be using our balls on the pins. we’re just gonna Dick Hoover ‘em. ie. stare them down. eins thru zehn.
When we lay our balls aside yours, there is a distinct advantage. Not just size, but mass, as well as beautiful marbling and pearlescent sheen. You should trade yours in and find some different ones that won’t roll away in fear tomorrow.
what the f***, dink, crips, honey, slappy….. i’m locked in a dumpster somewhere. i just remember seeing the words special k and large marge. you gotta get me outta here…. after you’re done bowling of course. be quick. hit ‘em hard. i’ve got plenty of food, no worries… mmm
43 comments
we bowl they bowl we bowl they bowl and we all fall down. LESBOWLIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! yipyipyip…..still on the comeback trail; fortunately tonite is the one for fun…. so lets do that. that.
[Reply]
though this season has come to us in the crawling-est of ways there do be seeming for to have in air some curvature displacing the shadow of our own dismissiveness. which wethinks may bring forth a light so bright as to entangle the circuitry innards of tonights opponents. we rise, very late in the afternoon, as living, breathing, brain-thinking humans. bowlers in the first degree. beware cyborg bunnies. the pud cometh…….
[Reply]
yo Puds great game last night, that was super fun and down to the wire, absolute blast, great last game by you guys! Bullet the Borkers got you down as MVP, amazing consistency, we dig your style.
[Reply]
puds?
[Reply]
Howdy Pud’s’s’! Anyone interested in rollin Friday evenin?
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
woulda…
[Reply]
ummmmm……nope
[Reply]
considering neither of us remember even getting to the alley last week, i suppose whatever the outcome of last years meeting with tonights opponents is equally un-important. what IS important, however, would be that we each in our own puddish way bring something to the lanes this evening that would make that great big pud in the sky beam with the happiness of complete and utter victory. can we do that? don’t answer. it’s rhetorical. let’s get ‘em puds!! fuzzy, you got the high five cream?
[Reply]
I’d be watchin y’all destroy the team that I love to hate and I hate to love, if I wasn’t entangled in our own mess of a match. Please make Puddy proud! splash splendid splintering pins
[Reply]
o-k puddlies, we’ve got 48 hours to re-kindle the sputtering flame of our indecently enormous ego-structure. we have lived, these many weeks, to bowl, to not bowl is death. all encompassing nothing remains death. and what, i shudder to ask, would a world without pud look like? i think i got a glimpse on my first peyote journey. f***ing grim. so what do we need to do to advance? strataghee 23 did not work. CAKSRA PAKSA did not work. summoning, for christs sake, did not work. ( f***ing willy wonka religion). beyonce worked a bit. there is only one thing that has never let us down. one thing that we have always done and won. ( besides our confused beginnings with roll another). and fortunately for us it is a simple thing. a fretless unthinking device which always brings us the good balls: rolling for puddy. that’s it. not for ourselves, or for complete and utter domination. for puddy. team. for puddy. TEAM!!! eliminate the non-puddy and clarity of roll will be ours. forever and for always. just like luther sings. just like motherf***ing luther sings……………………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7enLvzlUN4
[Reply]
Natro Reply:
March 29th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Luther is wrong. Listen to the man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l0NDfoMago
[Reply]
pud's Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 9:41 am
what’s with all the right and wrong? both these motherhumpers have a place in the musical pantheon of smooth. shake it off, brother. shake it off. let’s just roll and have a good time. be seeing you…
[Reply]
what’s the scouting report on the urban deceivers? Yu played ‘em a couple weeks back. is it a “nobody bowls above 170, but no one bowls below 120″ situation?
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 29th, 2009 at 7:47 am
that’s about it. but they also hold the worlds record for consecutive days without showing emotion while consuming the souls of small children. don’t look them in the eyes, and pretend each one of them has a tom selleck just above the ass crack. they’re a strong(stiff) team, bend them in your ulian way and they just may snap. good luck, lover. we’ll be in lane hell dealing with a gash or two.
[Reply]
[Reply]
Natro Reply:
March 28th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBn0NolWtNc
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 29th, 2009 at 7:52 am
that, my friend, is hilarious.
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 29th, 2009 at 7:50 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA
[Reply]
Thanks for the chocolate last night. It was delicious, but I was on a high all night from eating the whole bar.
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 25th, 2009 at 9:20 am
seemed to help your bowling. for that i am most happy. as for being high all night……… fuck yeah!!!!
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 25th, 2009 at 9:20 am
oh yeah, almost forgot. bring some tissues next week.
[Reply]
Natro Reply:
March 25th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Happy tissues, or sad tissues?
alright sons a bitches. tonight we add another notch to the ever expanding pole of our pudness. but remember, this is one of our favourite teams. next week: total f***ing gash attack. tonight: we stroke the gash. make it feel wanted. belabor it with the loving attention that only a true pud can offer. honey, thanks for the lap dance. hope to see you at the lanes. oh my gash, tonight is going to be so much fun!!
[Reply]
ok…. so maybe the last two games were a little like taking a shit in our own mouths. big deal. we’ve been thru worse. remember the acrobatic melt-down at the sex toy convention? we’re still breathing. let’s allow next weeks game to be the oral toilet paper to send us into the sweet sixteen with breath as fresh as a backspin into a headspin. keep your heads to the sky and your organs inside ya. and remember in the immortal words of donny osmond, “success sometimes can really bite you in the shorts.” yup.
[Reply]
once, after imbibing a concoction at a balinese shadow-puppet display, i was led to believe that god HER/HIM SELF had appeared before me and that he/she was indeed a fourteen year old male balinese prostitute named CAKRA PAKSA. i was then led to a small room in the back of the theater where i was forced to act out scenes from Three’s Company while God/little boy drove nails into a wooden image of a penguin. finally, when i had exhausted my Three’s Company repertoire and he/she had completely obliterated the wooden penguin, CAKRA PAKSA turned to me and said these words, (in Balinese) ” i am indebted to you, my friend, for assisting me with the ritual of Sell A Mutt Buggy (ultimately untranslatable, i have given the phonetic spelling.) if in the future you need my help, with anything, please summon me by calling out my name three times then three more.” i was led away to my hut and fell asleep for five days. i’m telling you all this, great pud’s, because when i had his message translated for me, once i returned to the states, his name translated as ‘disc or ball force’. it meant nothing to me at the time. but now i realize what moment he was speaking of. so tonight let CAKRA PAKSA be our war cry to the tippety top of the bowling universe!!!!!!!!!! let us finally bask in the glory of what has been written from time zero. FOR CAKRA!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY ALL WOODEN PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Reply]
honey?
[Reply]
HoneY Reply:
March 16th, 2009 at 7:41 am
I’m all sticky…. can’t stop licking my fingers.. and smelling the steam…
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 16th, 2009 at 11:21 am
at the bath house again?
[Reply]
Dear Pud’s drivers,
We of the sea-foam green need to summon the power of Puddy, for this coming Tuesday is indeed St. Puddy’s Day. Normal humans (poor bastards) believe in the traditional earthly green, but we know that the sea’s green is far more powerful and rollificent, so it is time, in this the 11th Hour, to knock the pins back to their true home; the sea. There, they will float in peace and harmony, rolling in the waves for our patron saint of the pins, Saint Puddy, to bless and return to us for the playoffs.
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 13th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
are we summoning before or after enacting strateghee 23. i’m not confused. i’m cuppy. cuppy of the sea-foam green.
[Reply]
ok lads and lady this being the last week of regular rolling i think its time we apply strataghee number 23. i’ll bring the slingshots. honey, the syrup(of course). dink, the laser sight. crips, the windowpane. and slappy, this is vital, collect and bring as many squirrels as is humanly possible for one human. one huge and sexy human. ok, team? these guys have headbands.
[Reply]
The Pinups Reply:
March 16th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
No amount of squirrels will overcome the power of our headbands. St. Patrick will be smiling down upon us and we hope that you join us in enjoying some whiskey, on this, the last day of regular season.
[Reply]
pud's Reply:
March 16th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
thanks for the good cheer. but, and a lot of people don’t realize this, we don’t drink when we roll. have the fun and we’ll see you tonight.
[Reply]
Dearest Team, o’ how unfortunate for the weather… the sun is shining the tiny twigs of the maple trees are vibrating and calling the mullet northward, northward, following the flow. Who knows when the mullet will return, but not until the sap has stopped flowing and the steam has stopped rising….leaving the liquid behind that is well known to put the fear in even the toughest FBI agent’s heart(not to mention the tiny hearts of our opponents). At last while the mullet will be getting damp with maple steam your own brows will be getting damp with that life passion called ‘rolling’. So roll well until I return. Keep you eyes pealed and when you most need it throw a high five into the air and the sap goddess will arrive promptly in a Pud’s Taxi and fog the eyes of all but you. BOWL TO WIN. TAKE PRISIONERS and to hell with following the army handbook.
[Reply]
team! this is the week for dancing rain. one palaver, two palaver, three palaver, four………. i have fully memorized Dick Hoovers’ ‘Bowling for Teens’. in the eyes of our once great Driver we must again descend and pluck the pupae of our allness from his greatly booming organ. capiche?
[Reply]
Uli Reply:
March 9th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
you best keep that shamanism in check. if not wielded with the proper restraint, it’s liable to turn you from medicine man to met obscene moon.
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 10th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
i thought i didn’t make sense.
[Reply]
Cuppy… the lord of the web claims we can’t win our Joyous Division… one eighty from you tonighty. Dink tells me he’s rolling over two. Crips, well Crips is beating all of us and Slappy isn’t picking up the dispatch phone so your guess is as good as mine. So put down the bottle, get some shut eye, and I’ll see you at Bubbah’s at six to get our prime on.
[Reply]
cuppy Reply:
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:19 am
this be what talk about. the bottle is in me. cannot put me down. hallelujah. when balls roll i get inner calm. in her calm. in her. are you reading this?
[Reply]
you sure the marbling and sheen aren’t just discharge? we personally won’t be using our balls on the pins. we’re just gonna Dick Hoover ‘em. ie. stare them down. eins thru zehn.
[Reply]
When we lay our balls aside yours, there is a distinct advantage. Not just size, but mass, as well as beautiful marbling and pearlescent sheen. You should trade yours in and find some different ones that won’t roll away in fear tomorrow.
[Reply]
hope you made it out of that dumpster…
[Reply]
what the f***, dink, crips, honey, slappy….. i’m locked in a dumpster somewhere. i just remember seeing the words special k and large marge. you gotta get me outta here…. after you’re done bowling of course. be quick. hit ‘em hard. i’ve got plenty of food, no worries… mmm
[Reply]
Leave a Comment