Sweet 16

Playoff Lines are here, and again Cupid and Oakie are here to enlighten and entertain. Before we get started, I thought I’d share with the Tuesday folks the origin of Cupid. When Oakie’s dairy commitments kept him from writing the lines for the first time, it was Valentine’s week, so I adopted the name Cupid. Now that’s it April, being a diaper wearing dude with a bow and arrow is pretty lame. But it would make a great costume for the Bowling Ball! So if you liked the lines this year, support your lines writers and come as Cupid or Oakie!
EARLY
Early matches favor teams of tools who bowl at 4 pm all the time because they lack things like jobs and responsibilities and get to the lanes while others are keeping this country moving. Not surprisingly I have picked teams that feature these types of people heavily for the early matches.
Yahtzee (-5) v. DHD – There will be no unbeatens in BoPo this year as the fantastic season of DHD ends Tuesday night at the hands of the defending champs. Fear not, DHD still has a B title to win on Saturday, but their run for the BoPo title ends at the hands of a way too strong Yahtzee team. Top to Bottom I see Yahtzee as too much for DHD, but I do think this’ll take 3 games.
The highest average in this match belongs to G-Force, who killed it on TV last weekend. Skinny Skeletor was all over the coverage along with San Diego and Lil’ Pickle on Sunday, but it didn’t seem like they were quite as into the party as the Yahtzee crew. With a couple days of drying out, I expect the depth of Yahtzee to be too much for DHD. Their march towards a repeat continues…
Wow, today was a tough one:

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We all have different strategies for recovery after the PBA week that was; some lay off the booze, others search for other methods. Here is Deputy’s plan:

I never knew Deputy was Australian!? If you want to see a real man do things like this, talk to Lord Tennyson….dude’s a stud and a half at shit like that.
Here was Tango and Sparkles and Cheddar’s recovery day:

And because I will not be able to share any more this season, one more video of the ladies of DHD doing their ode to Shifter Paul…but truth be told, they need to tighten up their videography a bit:

Y&B II (-3) v. Budweisers – One of my favorite things about these playoff lines is being able to poke fun at Tuesday teams and bowlers. But first, a few words about Y&B II….these guys and gals were all over PBA week. Crackerjack had the mohawk looking strong, Glossy and Bek Bork were all over the TV, Mo-$ and the rest of the Babes of Bayside were all over ESPN, and Pete Weber joined Pistol Pete at the Pro Am and had a blast…I guess this new edge for Y&B II even rubbed off on Pistol!
The Budweisers….not so much. Not too sure if I saw many Buds at the lanes last week (other than Sir Marks A Lot), I hear they were practicing up at some other lanes trying to get some reps in. The early oil means someone will put up a big number for Buds (my guess is Pick Up Truck), but I expect the Y&B II crew to handle them in three.
Can someone tell me what got into Ric Spair when he had something like 15 strikes in a row across a couple games this season? Was it this:

Or was it this?

Shout out to Mo $ getting a lesson on the golf course last Friday!

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BEER (-1) v. Leisure Rolls – This is the Tuesday match with the biggest chance of a rolloff, I see this one being very close throughout. Expect a lot of close points across the board, with Tom E Gunz being the difference for BEER.
Here is Hungus’ outfit for the PBA shows next year:

While we are on the topic of BEER, I have heard rumors of them making a possible move to Thursday…welcome to the minor leagues guys! Welcome to the party that only results in one workday of hangover instead of three. As they say, come on in the water’s warm, but I think I know why. Here is footage of Gatch and one of his three illegitimate kids (he always confuses the names, so let’s call her Daughter #2) at the pool last summer:

LOS (-1) v. Oddballs – Another match that will go down to the wire. The Oddballs are a good, deep team (aren’t they all at this stage of the playoffs?) and any of them can go off for big scores. Fortunately for LOS, Heartbreak Kid did that in their playoff win over TDYOB, so he’ll regress a bit. But unfortunately for LOS, Brooklyn rolled an underwhelming 150, so expect a biggie from him. This will come down to points 3 and 4 each match. Can Stiffy and Nugget handle Twisted Tea/Tinderella and Gutterboy’s mom? I’m not positive about it, but give me the only Thursday team with a title in a close one.
Stiffy was a wild man last week, take a look in this video from the Mattress Superstore over by the mall:

But not as crazy as Precious. Dude is going to be wrecked after a week of this:

But seriously, take a look at some more recent footage of Brooklyn:

Late:
Turkey Club (-3 )vs Bingas-The battle of Jim-Tom takes center stage once again. Thank God this was moved to late because these teams need the extra rest. Nothing but TV whores on these squads. Turkey Club loves to fill up right behind the bowlers. You can catch E Minor, Buck Ripcord, Roadhouse and Bora Bora on TV for over 10 hours straight from this past weekend. Bingas isn’t shy about whoring themselves out either. Jerk was on TV more than Kyle Troup, and Layne and Cookie went through more costume changes then Liberace:

Wow those guys sure know how to party. Okay now that they are done trying to get on TV let’s get to the bowling. Bingas is a former “Team of Destiny”, a former “Team of the Year” and former “BoPo Champion”, lots of formers in there. Jerk is the former ace of the league too. Things change. Bingas is one of the flyest teams in the league, with some of the dopest cats around. They are known for deep playoff runs. Magic Mike and Cookie save their big games for the playoffs, Tso is as capable as they come, Layne and Knuckles are lady aces, and Jerk can throw down with anybody, but they don’t have Buck Ripcord. Ripcord is the best player in the match and it isn’t close. The guy is a beast. Roadhouse is just as good as anyone not named Ripcord in the match. Herk throws down when the lights are brightest, and Koops and Bora have already stepped up in the playoffs. If you listen to the BeerFrame podcast then you know E Minor sucks. No matter what happens this will be an old school showdown that ends like this:

OC (-3) vs BUI- Both these teams were stuck in reverse for the majority of the season. Yet here they are on the cusp of the quarterfinals. I know a ton of folks are loving BUI, and as a Thursday celebrity bowler Oakie does too, but again like the match above I favor the team with the best bowler. Gutterboy is a playoff wrecking machine and is the reason I had them winning two rounds. OZ, Honey Bunny, Number 1, Tron (if still alive this dude went hard PBA weekend) all have been there done that and like GB have two banners on the wall. That brings us to the loveable losers that are BUI. Animal and Hexy will have to show up large tonight. Happy Feet Pete (is he even in town?), Duke T, G Unit, and Chad Shot are all confident but in the end I see them going down in 3 games. Here is Tron in the mezzanine during PBA week:

Here’s Number One:

Saucy Posse (-5) vs Cape Fear-If Pip was as good as she talks this could be an upset alert, but I think Cape will be lucky to make it to game 3. Pip 127 Nut Sauce 204, do the math. Splinter is an absolute pin crusher, Hot Sauce has been hot, Beef can wreck pins, and Sauce’s lady (T Bear or has there been a name change?) has gotten some good experience in 2 v 2 and let me add looked excellent on TV. How r ya?!?!?! Both these teams had strong PBA weekend runs. This match has already happened Cape averaged 750 and lost 13-2. That isn’t good. Hanging with South Paw at Amigos Thursday night he North and Soccer Dad are confident, but sorry Bingas, I got Saucy as a team of destiny this year, well until Cheddar has the last laugh. Give me Saucy to advance. Also here is a shot of Hot Sauce riding in his car on the way to the match and South Paw on his hog:

Soccer Dad getting ready for the match:

SOD (-1) vs Hazzard-Everyone talking Hazzard because they have two pros, here is LB and General Lee last Thursday night:

Yeah those guys are good, but SOD has the depth. Valley Girl and McStriker are red hot right now and Dwayne, Booth, Diesel and Dentist all battle tested. I think they give Luke, Uncle Jesse and crew all they can handle tonight and then after the match everyone gets loose:

Good luck to all the teams still going for the title, mad shout out to BoPo for another epic PBA run! Let’s keep it going we got Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday to get loose then we can dial it back and give the livers a rest:

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