13 more bowling seasons wrap-up tomorrow, but everybody should be at the Bowling Ball on April 22!
Everyone’s favorite Thursday Night celebrity bowler is back with a vengeance Tom Clark ain’t got nothing on me!
First off thanks to these loveable losers who reigned victorious today: OC, Bingas, Cape Fear, Guac, BUI, and GOB, and proud we are of all of them. Welcome to the party pal.
Well we now don’t have too many Tuesday and Thursday’s left, the PBA is around the corner and the West Side and New Bar are in full effect this is what I have to say about that:
Reminder matches are two games to 10, if 5-5 tie, bowloff!!! GOB and Whoomp had one today so what it, what it is. Here is a video of what goes on in Space Farmer’s had when he gazes at Double Cheese:
Total bromance, word on the street is Farmer looking to get picked up by LOS next year and be their new Shithawk:
Sunday early 1:30 p.m.:
Oddballs (6-6) -10 versus Linguists (2-9): When I first looked at this matchup I thought team formerly known as Linguists Touch My Excite and wow what a freaking Sunday Shootout Matchup. C’est la vie. This one would be over in one if it could be. Linguists will enjoy their last two games on the lanes and have a good time while Odd Balls come in focused loaded up for a deep playoff run. Brooklyn has a strong expansion squad here with capable battle tested bowlers like Gutterboy’s Mom and the Corsican Brothers:
Here is a shot of Mr. Stiffy in 5 years:
Jesus the Sunday Shootout is Death Row for B team unless you play TDYOB or Spare of the Dog and since the latter got eliminated only gives one B team a chance at a win. Let’s pour one out for the first team eliminated Spare of the Dogs. I love that group of assholes and Mona, but that is about as bad a Team of the Year defense can get No team dinners, only one lady, teammate quit before the season starts. It looks like Bompop and Jewdy’s Thelma and Louise roadtrip really undid these guys. 2-9 a 563 average an ass kicking pretty much every week by the looks of their 3.7 points a night and playing on Tuesday night with those groups of tools with large averages. I will be honest Tuesday goes hard as hell but give me that Friday hangover to that Wednesday hangover every damn week. THURSDAY!!!!!!! Here is how the Dogs season went:
Hazzard (1-11) -8 versus Pinny Candy (4-6): Yes you rarely see a 1-11 team favored. This must be the death knell watch, like it is for other teams in the league that may get picked apart or no longer exist. Unless General Lee and LB love to party because Hazzard has a great group of non pro bowlers fun ass guys and gals, this might be the end from this squad. I’m sure some fallout team offers General Lee and LB a shot at a banner elsewhere. We shall see. Follow @boposkinny for the latest and greatest on offseason rumors etc. Pinny Candy playing out the string trying to be Cinderella in this one, but guess what happened to Cinderella at midnight:
Here is General Lee and LB on their recruiting trip this offseason:
Hey look here comes Sharks and Strikes:
TDYOB (5-7) -6 versus Pin Ups (4-8): TDYOB is a year removed from losing to a Tuesday B team in the Sunday Shootout. Munson and Thunder have had down years to say the least at with 154.5 and 149.5 averages unrespectively, but they still have a 60 pin average on Pin Ups and coming off a big win over Guacabowle. Something tells me TDYOB shows up this year and ends the Pin Ups season in what is the first career matchup for these long time BoPo teams with completely different styles.
TDYOB is more like this lead by their old and obnoxious captain:
And Pin Ups is a tad more reserved:
Incredibowls (8-4) -4 versus Roll Another (6-6): Unfamiliar territory for perennial B powerhouses and former B champs Roll Another and the Incredibowls. Incredibowls have more firepower with Spidey and God of Thunder at the top of their oldest team in the league pyramid. Roll Another never expected to win a B titles and are just happy to have a .500 record. Here is Uncle Buck’s pregame speech to rally the troops:
5 Finger Discount (4-7) -2 versus BILF (5-7): This game has bowloff potential. 5 Finger may or may not have Natro. BILF bowlers were seen practicing yesterday at lunch and are 100% intent on getting a B side upset and showing that this elitist divisive system that tyrant Hungus came up with years ago is archaic and has to go. We are one league, one voice, one heart, clear eyes, full hearts can’t lose! Major Danks and company will put a charge in them, but Coco, Rufio, Dutch Oven and crew do enough for the win. Here is Dutch Oven and Natro celebrating the win:
Brooklyn Hookers (7-5) -1 versus UREA (3-8): Upset alert!!!! C-Murda and T$ are the aces in this match and their squad holds a 30 pin team average advantage, but I have a feeling about this one. I’ve seen the Hookers battle it out for wins all season long. I think they come focused and take down UREA! in the first upset of the weekend. Sorry UREA! no physical harm intended:
I understand that, that’s why I picked up the phone.
Sunday late 3:00 p.m.
Sons of Danarchy (6-6) versus Bad News Spares (1-11): ICBING allowed BNS to get in the win column and now their fun season comes to an end. They are a truly great squad and emblematic of what our league is about. They know what the league was founded on, inclusion, not exclusion. It’s about getting together with friends on a cold winter night have a few drinks, a few laughs, and shake shake your booty. It gives you something to look forward to in the winter. Everyone could take a page from their book and remember that. Next time you go to slander or speak poorly of a non Bowl Portlander remember what this league is all about. Inclusion not exclusion and to Oakie everyone that walks through the doors of Bayside whether in BoPo or not, they are BoPo. We helped build this place let’s always strive to keep it pure and make it about love and fun and everything else will work out all right. That said BNS is going to get murdered in this one. Diesel and crew get all 10 and then after the match Dentist screams, “I don’t need your fucking sympathy man!!! I need my fucking Johnson!!!”
No Eye Deer (4-8) -1 versus Lion’s Den (5-6): Another B side upset alert. Not sure if Rick Vaughn’s wife lets him bowl as it is a Sunday and for the Vaughn’s that is Shabbos:
I think this is the game of the day. Two teams with great vibes that love to roll and have fun; should be great theater in this one. Burt the Bandit, Tush Christ and Donnzarelli where pounding the lunch time bowling yesterday and these guys aren’t scared of anyone. The Den will bring the party and try to rattle NED’s cage, but if anyone is going to rattle NED’s cage it is going to be themselves:
Ball That (3-9) -2 versus Bowlderdash (4-7): Ball That is terrible. These Harry Potter loving geeks would be better at Quidditch than they are at bowling. Lucky for them Bowlderdash is worse. I think the folks at Dash keep it close but fall to Ball That before BT heads to Tuesday B or Thursday A next year. Maybe they should play this instead:
Happy Hands (8-3) -2 versus Splits Happen (7-5): Holy shit ton of splits must have happened for Splits Happened this year because Xander’s group of loveable losers has a 515 average and yet somehow has a winning record. Sign Oakie up for Tuesday B. Granted the King of the Shitnecks is still a Shitneck, but he is also still a mother fucking King! Sasha leads her band of can’t keep my hands to myself rollers to victory. I am king shit of fuck mountain!
Here is Space Farmer taking a lie detector test with Munson and Thunder and friends doing some questioning:
Tats and Tits (4-7)-2 versus Strikes on Tap (6-6): Oakie didn’t get to much Tuesday this year due to life getting in the way. The little acorns got their own shit going on. So sorry Strikes and Tap but I have no clue who is on your team. T&T I do know and I love these freaking guys! Train Conductor even bought me a beer on Thursday night. Not some cheap ass shit either a Maine Beer Company I must add. This band of maniacs rises up and takes down a game Strikes on Tap after Rubbys tells Strikes the following:
Watch the fuck out for that madman.
Party Mix (7-5) versus Bowled and Beautiful (2-10): Party Mix has taken the league by storm. Black Morris might be the best energy guy in the league, but he has one of the best in his captain the Benny Hill of the league in Big Fucking Party, Captain of the Year contender of a team of the year contender. Ah shit yes DJ 212 just came on Facebook Live Tuesday night turns its lonely ears to you! B&B had their ups and downs. I just think Hakeem, Black Morris, and crew bring the party at a high level and take the win in this one. You cannot stop Big Party you can only hope to contain him:
When Big Party’s in the house oh my God danger!
Bowl Trolls (7-5)-1 versus ICBING (8-4): Wow identical team averages. ICBING been here done that with shootout wins. Rocky Bowlbalah or whatever the fuck his name is, is back in town, but it sounds like Peanut Gutter or a few others might not make it. The Trolls are an upstart and should be game, bowloff? Peanut Gutter’s pregame speech?
Yo Dj Atomik as a Thursday Acorn you fucking killed it this year homeboy! Props to all the staff on the lanes and off that made this another hell of a good time. BoPo X almost in the books, it has been a great time. The expansion looks unreal, thanks for all you do providing us this winter blues fun. Good luck to all in the playoffs. The party never stops:
Oakie out, you all know who the fuck I am: