I figured on a night where I am going to attempt to bowl for the first time since before summer, I would also attempt to do early lines? I also allegedly drunkenly volunteered myself to do this last Thursday and forgot until this afternoon. Sorry I don’t take the time to look up videos that no one watches but if you’re in to that, I’m sure Thundgus is doing late.
Denim Vajean -3 vs. Cake Balls II
Denim off to a quick start at 3-1 with Splinter leading the way with a solid 225 avg. I’m supposed to put some hashtags after that but no one really gives a shit about that stuff. But not to be outdone, Gunzz is also crushing this pattern and it should set up for a great anchor battle. I’ll take the Denim supporting cast even though I was too lazy to look up anyone else on either of these teams.
Spared No Expense -5 vs. Phish Bowl
Anyone else notice on the schedule that Glossy has a different name each week? Anyone also notice that Glossy doesn’t suck so far this season? Frankie is taking that title so far. Don’t worry Gloss, I’ve also bowled really well in draft and had a teammate who I thought was better bowl like a bag of shit. I feel ya bro. Phish Bowl is having a solid season with Duke and Squatch over 2 bills, but the last time Glossy drafted a team this boring, they won the whole thing.
Walter -1 vs. Truth Hurts
I love Nuggets team name this season. Tango might be the worst round 1 pick through the first 4 weeks. Truth hurts. Dambrie is 2 weeks away from a season ending injury. Truth hurts. I have no fucking clue who anyone else is on this team. Truth hurts. Walters RTP style draft strategy of all over 40 bowlers will prevail tonight. Truth hurts. I’ll be drunk by 6pm. Truth hurts.
Schnitzengiggles II -7 vs. Whiskey Shooters
Deputy has been far more concerned with getting his teammates “the appropriate amount of drunk” to bowl than his own bowling and it’s paying off so far. Whiskey Shooters is one of the few teams without a 200+ person and a win. That lack of power at the top won’t help them against a team that’s pissed at Hakeem for ripping off their shirt idea.
Hexy’s Hooligans -3 vs. The Hole Package
Hexy has nabbed herself a good squad and the record reflects that. Doubles Legend, General Lee is crushing and other than Polly, I actually don’t know the rest of the team. Solid strategy grabbing people before the party fully takes over. Hole Package is flashy and fun, but have benefited from a cream puff schedule to start. They’ll party regardless and that’s something we call get on board with.
Titans of Bayside -1 vs. Dolla Bets
Pretty evenly matched teams here. Precious has been about 50/50 attendance this year, which is about all you can ask from the guy during draft. If he can’t make it they’ll need to sacrifice a live chicken to get any top points from Cerrano. Unfortunately Doc Moose is one of those shifty fucks that always screws me over, so I’m pulling the reverse curse and picking him to be the X factor this match.