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Return Of The Smack


311 comments

1 LOS { 02.22.12 at 9:08 am }

LOS would like to award BEER with the 2012 ‘Best Half Shirts’ trophy. GO BEER! Nothing says ‘classy’ quite like male belly buttons.

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Karl H. Reply:

Thank you! We were hopeful someone would notice, but never believed as stylish a bunch as you would be the first to give us props.

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2 Big Dick { 02.21.12 at 9:06 pm }

Oh Great Prognosticator, how full of shit are you.

You definitely aint Thunder, because you seriously don’t get it.

Bowl Portland isn’t about any of the shit you talk. This shit was built on something different, B. I’m gdamn lucky to be a participant over these years, but you should be lynched out of the league with your weak pussy smack. Your predictions are indicative of your naivete, and KH’s are built on the same blood sweat and tears this league was built on. Something that you don’t quite yet understand. Many of the brethren here get it, but unfortunately, here is the breakdown you asshole. Bowl Portland is Magic, and its any given Tuesday.

Take your assessment of the league and shove it up your ass or at least have the balls to back your weak shit up.

(Oolie, was that too harsh? Definitely don’t want to harsh anyone’s mello, Ja!)

Bingas was actually scary good for a while tonight but Hazard was right there.

While I’ve got you, I might as well complain about the oil. Pbbbbbttttttt…….

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3 Oolie { 02.21.12 at 1:28 pm }

We’re feelin loose!! Loose in the bowels, that is.
Even though the shit WILL hit the fan(s) tonight when we take on Splits Happen, squeamish spectators can rest assured that IBS are sanitary.
Cottonelle, baby. Nothin’ but the best…

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Why Bother Reply:

Pretty weak smack. Talk about regurgitated. Same blah blah blah every single week. Pretty obvious your heart is not in it.

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4 Searching for a sound { 02.21.12 at 12:13 pm }

Where’s the good ole Dr?

This board is very boring without him talking to himself.

Dr. Dr. Come out and play.

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Oolie Reply:

Why even raise the specter? I, for one, have enjoyed the respite. Extra bonus: Tango’s not wasting our time either…

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Tango Reply:

Wow Oolie, you used a verb that can be linked to taking dumps (wasting) and refrained from a stereotypical comment about I.B.S., well done Poolie, now get off the smack and focus on your ever apparent poop fetish

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Dr. Capgun Watcher Reply:

Don’t encourage him. We like the quiet.

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Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

Amen to that!

And this week the lanes will be quiet. He won’t be yelling at the top of his lungs as he makes his spares.

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

Sounds like a man crush to me.

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5 The Great Prognosticator { 02.18.12 at 4:35 am }

Congratulations Tango and Blunder, if you have proven anything, other than you both suck at bowling, it is that you are alcoholics. Well done. Now why don’t you both please crawl back down the holes you come from and die of alcohol poisoning.

All right let’s get down to brass tax. Hungus has cancelled the All Star game because there is no sport in the world where it pits JV players versus Varsity players and calls it an All Star game. Most of the top ten on Thursday barely make the top 25 for Tuesday.

To me for the purposes of this league team average is most indicative of a team’s performance more so than records. That’s why you can throw Hungus’ “Power Rankings” out the window. They aren’t worth the 5 minutes he takes to write them. They seem to be based more on his whims, i.e., who he wants to bulls eye, and team records than anything else. Perfect example is #10 and #11 this week. TDYOB is 10th a team that averages a 530 has four bowlers under 150 two of them in the low 100’s. Then there is LOS at #11 a team that averages 580 and has 4 bowlers over 150. Is there any way in the world LOS doesn’t beat TDYOB at worst 10-5 every time they meet? So goodbye power rankings.

There are only two teams over the 550 (decent) range on Thursday, throw all those other teams out the window. Those teams better be having fun and drinking a lot because they are going absolutely nowhere no matter what they are telling themselves how much better they are going to get over the next 6 weeks. GOB and YAY! are both in the 575 range (good), but to me the great teams in the league are 600 and above.

So here is the breakdown:
Decent 550-574:
Turkey Club, Saucy Posse, Off Constantly
Good 575-599:
YAY!, GOB, LOS, Bingas
Great 600 and above:
BEER, Back in Black, and Walkaways

So there you have it there are ten teams that are still in it to legitimately make a run to the quarterfinals and beyond. If you think your team is not on this list and should be you are very wrong. Anyone not on this list should be happy to make the sweet 16 then get out of the way and enjoy the show.

So let’s break them down, Turkey Club and Saucy Posse have already proven that they cannot hang with the big boys and girls of the league, they’ll be happy to be decent, score some points in the sweet 16,and go home. That leaves the quarterfinal teams: Off Constantly, YAY!, GOB, Bingas, LOS, BEER, BIB and Walkaways.

GOB and YAY! being JV teams will likely just be happy to make quarters if they get there and get run by whoever they play. LOS has proven time and again not to be ready for primetime, so although talented, able to stomp on all the teams below them, and maybe ready for the leap will probably bow out in this round because they won’t be able to make the cutthroat lineup decisions necessary to win, OC is battle tested, but off their game and the playoffs is no place to be off your game. I don’t believe they will be able to just turn it on when it counts, this oil pattern is too tough for that.

That leaves a final 4 of Bingas who if they have proven anything it is they can party their way to the semis every year, but due to their long breaks between games may not have the depth or stamina to make it the distance anymore.

That leaves us with three teams that in this prognosticator’s estimation could win it all. BEER is the #1 combo team in the league. They combine, more so than Bingas, a penchant to party at a very high level and the ability to roll big in key moments. They employ one of the true aces in the league in the moody and mercurial Cheddar. Cheddar has bad games that 220 people in this league would be more than happy with those games as their averages. Slow Roll has upped her game, and Hungus has turned into a true #1. Hacksaw is always a big wildcard and always willing to do whatever the team needs. And no one goes from 120 to 220 faster than Filthy McNasty especially when it counts.

Walkways, no one has a deeper collection of talent to take points 2-4 and total than this team. They employ two of the top women in the league. This puts heavy pressure on their opponent’s women to perform. Every guy on the teams averages 162-169. They have no ace, and none of their four guys have seemed capable of being that ace when it counts, although all very talented. They have a great leader in Natro, when Diesel is on he can top anyone in the league, the Dentist has looked shaky in big match ups and Booth is still recovering from the beating that Hungus gave him in a bowl off gone completely wrong. Are they ready for primetime or a regular season wonder? The jury is out, can they beat BIB or BEER when it counts? Time will tell.

To me the class of the league is BIB if their women can get anywhere near 125-140 on a consistent basis. For example when they dismantled BEER GB’s mom went 140 GB 180’s Bama and Steve both over 200 if they do that in the playoffs no one will touch them. The key to this team is Bama and GB, Steve is always going to bring it at a high level, 215 and above when it counts. Bama and GB are capable of dropping a 200 whenever they want. If those two stay 180 and above in the playoffs and their ladies due their part, I believe Bowl Portland has a new champion.

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Oolie Reply:

I think Natro — I mean, The Great Prognosticator’s assertion that The Walkaways “employ” two of the top women in the League is quite apropos. These guys approach BoPo as if it were a business! They treat objects like women, man… and it shows.
The Walkaways are morally bankrupt, so you can spare BoPo the CNBC breakdown. Generate all the projected returns you want! Natro is the new Bernie Madoff. Invest even an iota in this nonsense and risk losing it all.

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Natro Reply:

I assure you, “Oolie”, I had nothing to do with this post. Nor would I ever refer to my wife, or anyone else for that matter, as an employee.

I also do not consider gender when approaching lineup. All six of us are equally as good and can roll in any game. I would think that someone with your advanced understanding of gender issues would refrain from that separation as well.

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Oolie Reply:

Lousy guess. Thunder fools us again! He still finds time while he’s on vacay in FLA? Sad.
Sorry Natro. I still hate your team, though.

Mr Stiffy Reply:

This is actually a decent analysis and breakdown of potential postseason matchups. I wish I didn’t have to waste an adderall just to finish reading it. And thanks for not delivering as a rap.

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Oolie Reply:

don’t buy into the hype

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We know who you are Reply:

Get a life Dr Thunder…….

I wonder how much time and money this guy spends on bowling.

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Tango Reply:

I get it; you feel the need to post something stupid, but you don’t want everyone to know just how stupid you are. This is why you create a dumb name to post under; so when people read it, they can’t make fun of the next 115 you drop at B-side. You wanna post something like this, fine, post it under your bowling name. Back up your smack or it means nothing, and that goes for everyone.

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Dr. Popgun Watcher Reply:

Dude, first of all it’s brass tacks. Brass tacks. Second of all, you are just regurgitating an email that I sent to you last week.

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Oolie Reply:

little known historical fact: back in the 1770’s it was not only tea that had American colonists up in arms about London’s tyranny - it was also the Brass Act of 1772. It levied an exorbitant tariff on any lamps, doorknobs, and bed frames that were to be exported.
Metalsmiths everywhere were pissed! They united and staged a protest in Philadelphia where they burned King George in effigy. This was known as the Philly “G’s Stake” - soon to be bastardized by opportunistic food vendors.

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6 Dr. Thunder { 02.16.12 at 7:02 pm }

154.9 Tango, bring it and you are welcome. Hey man I am taking my shoes to Florida to roll, if I wasn’t I’d drop them by your place so you could shine them.

Bork Nation moves to 6-1!

Roll Bork!

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Tango Reply:

Sorry Thunder, I refuse to shine the shoes of those whose egos are so out of wack that they masturbate to pictures of themselves masturbating.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Not to mention back to back 50/50 wins for Munson. Gotta tell you winning does not suck. Good game Fury, that was fun, people said we wouldn’t have fun together and we did.

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Tango Reply:

Wow. This guy will post anything he or his team wins. Seriously, 50/50 is luck, as is the 6 W’s your team can claim. There’s no amount of luck that can rescue you from this bet we have. Also, I love that you have no problem posting your scores when you bowl well, but you have an off night and only the average gets posted? Anybody else notice this? Well, let me enlighten, 186, 137, 127.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Man Tango you are a party machine I salute you. I’m swearing off the board, last post, damn it that just isn’t true. At the risk of sounding like an idiot getting in a stupid I can party harder than you can dude back and forth; if I have proven anything over the years it is I am not afraid to present myself as an idiot in this forum. Remember this I was partying on an epic level when you were only 6 years old. Come talk to me in 15 years and see if you are still going hard before 5 p.m. in Bowl Portland, I’m doing it right now kid……………..

Mr Stiffy Reply:

This could get good-
Taking bowloffs to another level.

Tango Reply:

Thunder Thunder, you’re blind if you think I actually take BoPo, our bet, or Bayside in general seriously. I party harder than you in my sleep. Have you watched T-club bowl? We have more fun in the first frame of the first game than you do all season, and that my friend, is a serious statement. For me, its party first, party second, and bowl shitty third. I drink more before 5:00 than you do all night dude.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Also Tango I gotta tell you I am psyched about my night, we won, I rolled one decent game and I partied like a rock star, it is party first for me roll second, I refuse to take this seriously, be all dialed in and avg say 145 (mirror) if all that matters is the scoring and you have a shit night does that mean you had no fun?????? This is Bowl Portland son, it is party first roll second, feel free to take it seriously, basically what I am telling you is I roll blind and am still better than you. Is that clear? Do the math 154.9 blind-145 serious……….

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Well then Sneaky Pete lied to your face……

Tango Reply:

Keeping a spreadsheet of my scores as well are we Cheddar Watcher (read: Thunder)? Who has the mancrush again? Btw, I asked the ladies of your team, neither knew anything about labeling me as having a mancrush, just had to air that out to the league.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Man Cheddar Watcher you sound a lot like I do….it is scary stuff…..

Cheddar Watcher Reply:

186, 137, 126, thanks for the extra pin, masturbate to pictures of himself masturbating, I like that…….186 would be your second highest league score of the year, not concerned about our bet at all. You don’t have what it takes.

7 XXX Club { 02.16.12 at 10:58 am }

Boo-ya! That’s right sitting pretty at 3-3 with a 552 avg, not bad for a rookie start up squad. Unlike IBS we didn’t lose our bye week. Yeah Tango has been out here representing for the squad, and even though our captain has come out lately trying to muffle him we did not want folks thinking there was dissension amongst the ranks so we decided to come out of retirement to clear the air on a few things and those are:
1.) We are the best damn looking team in this whole Cracker Jack rec league.
2.) Our bowlers are always there practicing so Stevie Strikes you ever want to lose some cash step on up homeboy.
3.) As you can tell by the looks of us we are down to occupy anything, so People of Thursday Night we are down with your cause, you need any help just give us a holla!

Also we came up with a little rap, since we are the new style in this BS league step back while we spit at ya for a moment, and it goes a little something like this, hit it:
And on the cool check in
Center stage on the mic
And we’re puttin’ it on wax
It’s the new style

Four and three and two and one What up!
And when I’m on the mic - the suckers run (Word!)
Down with Tango and Roadhouse and you ain’t
And I got more strikes than Picasso got paint
Got spares that are rough and spares that are slick
I’m not surprised Gutterboy is on my dick
T-U-R-K-E-Y, what up Herk A Leez.
Ah yeah, that’s me
I got sideways hats and a goofy walk
Always bust on homies when they start to squawk
I get it - I got it, I know it’s all right
The strikes I roll- you couldn’t roll with f-ing dynamite
I’m never in training - my forearm is not straining
People always biting on XXX Club and I’m sick of complaining
So I went into Bayside yesterday
Bust into your locker and turned your ball into soufflé
You’re from Sebattus - I’m from Bangor
You’re jealous of me because all the waitresses they adore

There it is - kick it!!!

Father to many - married to none
And in case you’re unaware I carry a 162.6 average
Stepped into the Bayside - the place was over packed
Saw Dr. Blunder dissed my Tango and shot him in the back
I’m better than Bama I’m better than Pickles
Don’t mess with Busta cuz he’ll pinch your nipples
Filthy, Cheddar, and Hungus bow down to me
When Roadhouse is the joint I drink my BEER for free
Bingas is decent they might be good
They wouldn’t last a minute in my neighborhood
The girlie’s Stevie Strikes likes are underage Check it!
OC is done now that we in the league
Dick Liquor always wakes up in a pool of his own pee

There it is - kick it!!!

You wanna know why - because I’m
October 31st - that is Tango’s date of birth
I got to the Bayside and I did the XXXXXX
getting free bowling every damn week
Don’t give an F who knows I’m a flannel wearing geek
In league I gutter
and then I stutter
when my team needs me most I disappear
when things are really going bad I blame the beer (the good stuff)
T-A-N-G-O whammy
All the fly ladies are on my sore hammy
Went to the prom - wore the fly blue flannel rental
Got six inflatable dolls in my Lincoln Continental
Met this girl at the Bayside and she started to flirt
I puked on myself and all over her skirt (hiccup)
Spent some bank - I got a high powered roto grip
I’m cheaper than the Saucy Posse so I never tip

Let me clear my throat - Kick it over here baby pop
And let all the fly skimmies, feel the beat…mmm drop

Coolin’ at Bayside on a cold winters day
Just me, my posse and Bora Bora
A lot of beer - a lot of girls - and a lot of Samsquampch
Twenty-two pound hammer ball on my person
Got my hand under my ball and my finger’s in the holes
I shut my eyes and kiss the sky when I rolls
Some dudes talk like Oolie or choke like Stiffy
DC and Precious got the kind of rolls that are pretty iffy
Like the Cheddar to the Hungus - like the Hackaw to the McNasty
Like the McQueen to the #1 - to Oz to the Tron
I’m the king of the Ave. - and I’m the king of the block
I’m Herk A Leez - and I’m the King of free bowling Tango
I’m Roadhouse - only good bowler on the team
I got the smooth fast release that makes the ladies scream
Walking down the block with the fresh fly threads
Herk A Leez literally has the biggest head

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Roadhouse Blues Reply:

Tango, what have you done?!?!?!!?!?

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Tango Reply:

Jesus

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Natro Reply:

http://youtu.be/t29K8HN79Jg

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

That made me want to cut myself……

Natro Reply:

You said it man.

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Tango Reply:

Dios mio man

Mr Stiffy Reply:

I’m setting the over/under line for people who actually read this entire post at 2.9 people.

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Natro Reply:

WTF did I just read. So there’s at least one. Worst. “Rap”. Ever.

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XXX Club Reply:

We will take the over.

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Cheddar Watcher Reply:

Cheddar does not like rap. The guy is from Wiconsin. He dances like one of those wooden Indians you see outside a cigar shop.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Tread lightly XXX Club, everyone knows Danny Diesel is this board’s resident rap artist. He will not take kindly to this, nor will he take kindly to the Walkaway omissions in your, I guess you are calling it a “rap”.

Bora Bora Reply:

Hahaha wow. Juuust wow.

8 We the People (of Thursday Night) { 02.15.12 at 12:41 pm }

We have had our demands met for the most part, that said no 50/50 tomorrow night and the revolution will continue. We spared your litte Valentine’s Day Celebration, but know this we are not to be triffled with!

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Stevie Strikes Reply:

50/50 is on for tonight and every Thursday for the remainder of the season. Please note……this is for the league’s benefit, with 50% to the league prize fund and the other 50% going to the lucky ticket holder. I see that most bowlers are in favor of this, but the partipation is lacking compared to Tuesday. C’mon Thursday BoPo’s……step up!

* Kudo’s to Da Truth for having the guts and desire to challenge some of the top bowlers around here….we could use more action and less talk. Maybe a monthly scratch tourney?

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We the People (of Thursday Night) Reply:

Thank you once again Stevie Strikes, as mentioned before you are a man for and of the people. However, I’d like to point out Thursday night has two less teams. Thus two less teams present for the 50/50, usually, so by sheer masses in terms of numbers we may not be able to raise the same amount of money. Also like the 99% we are broke as shit and fighting for our rights and incapable of raising capitol. That said your challenge is heard, we pledge to knock off convenient stores and come prepared to pour money into the 50/50. The league must have trophies!

Join the 50/50 revolution tonight my early game brothers and sisters!

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Tango Reply:

Nor are you a group to quit once your demands have been met. By week 10 you’ll want a fireworks display every time you get a strike! Luckily, Hungus won’t have to set much aside for that budget..

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Smack Talk Watcher Reply:

Can we have a new award for worst smack talker, and the winner is, Tango, practice player of the week…….

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Roadhouse Blues Reply:

Yo Tango I posted it, I kick your ass in league and in practice. Now stop posting and start scoring or I will kick you off the team.

Roadhouse Blues Reply:

Yo Tango I posted it, I kick your ass in league and in practice. Now stop posting and start scoring or I will kick you off the team.

Tango Reply:

Whoever this is, I’ll roll head to head against you, practice, league, whatever you want. At least I post under my own name.

9 Cheddar Watcher { 02.15.12 at 11:53 am }

Looks like in the vein of Valentine’s BEER had a couples night, threw caution to the wind, told the Chosen One and Hacksaw to stay home (the director quote we hear is: Hungus said, “Only couples allowed. Sorry Mitch if Bishop can’t make it you are out too.”)

After such a rash move and a forced night off looks like Cheddar now has two feet in the door for his BUI transfer. The lovers lane were able to outlast Pinny Candy, but does the no significant other night off for the Chosen One spell long term chemistry problems for BEER?????

Inquiring minds want to know…..

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10 Natro { 02.15.12 at 8:04 am }

The Truth is back in a big way. Bowled out of his shoes last night. First 600 series that I’ve seen in a while. Way to go!

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11 Oolie { 02.15.12 at 7:37 am }

Practically everyone is beating Off Constantly these days.
I think it’s all these amazing silicone-based lubricants that are available. Stuff just lasts and lasts…

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Numero Dos Reply:

Hey that’s what happens when you party naked pal. We are on our world tour right now Toolie, we don’t care about our record, we are partying at an epic level every evening. Pre-party, party during the bowling, and post party.

Check the wall pal I see two banners up there with the name Off Constantly on them. Seems to me I haven’t seen one for IBS unless it is behind one of the other banners. Just be glad we don’t play each other this year.

Losers care about their record in the regular season, winners care about their record in the postseason. Toolie you do neither.

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Oolie Reply:

Now THAT’S more like it. Smack talk with some zest!
Don’t forget, Número Dos… WE’RE #1 in the #2 bidness

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Big Dick Reply:

Dear Mr. Oops I Crapped My Pants. Maybe its all that silicone based lubricant in your ass that is making your bowels so irritable. Stuff just lasts and lasts Oolie Droolie. I appologize in advance if you interpret my humor as homophobic. I’m just trying to put two and two together based on your familiarity with this lube and those plunger handles you carry around.

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Oolie Reply:

Looks like someone gets a lil’ “prick”ly when they’re feeling inadequate and their team can’t seal the deal. IBS can lose over and over again - and do it with aplomb!
At this point, I’ve come to expect this sorta thing outta you, Liquor. So, I consider the “apology” moot.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Everyone needs to remember that Bowl Portland is all about fun to Droolie win or lose. Well unless his team makes a miracle quarters run then he will talk sh*t about it for a year like they are some upper echelon bowling squad that is always in it to win it. Then they find their right level the next year and he was never in it to win it. Which is it Droolie????? However; you are the king of having it both ways……whatever suits your argument, that is his your side of the fence that minute/moment/hour, come on Droolie which is it, you can’t be in it to win it when you are good and then just having fun when you suck? Also your posts seem to have more “zest” after you have had a big night, but then radio silence after a night of 130’s, seems to “smack” in the face of your mantra “talk smack win or lose”. You also seem to pound your chest harder when you are playing teams that you are actually capable of beating.

Frontrunner??????

Filthy and Dungus do not take this post as an affirmation that I am seeking to defend our PDA title, just trying to get to the truth, not The Truth that had one good night and lost $40 to Stevie Strikes today….

Big Dick Reply:

Your posts make me feel like I’m watching Dennis Miller commentate Monday Night Football. An attempt at a psuedo intellectual non humorous smack talk post made with a thesaurus in your lap is not zesty. It is weak!

OC Watcher Reply:

The OC boys and girls look bored with the regular season, kinda like our Boston Bruins.

Let’s see what happens once the playoffs start. My money is OC will be in to win it.

Will IBS even make the playoffs?

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12 Oolie { 02.13.12 at 2:17 pm }

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. While preparing the venison steaks for dinner later that week, the hunter and his wife decide it’s best that they not divulge what animal is being served. Well, the kiddos taste it, call their bluff, and demand a clue. The hunter thinks about it and offers, “Sometimes your Mommy calls me this…” The youngest spits his mouthful across the table and blurts out “EWWW! Don’t eat it!! Don’t eat another bite! It’s asshole!!!”
This story really doesn’t have any bearing other than to suggest that No Eye Deer can often be mistaken for a bunch of a-holes, and that Irritable Bowl Syndrome surely knows how to handle things like that.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

I smell a Droolie vs Shifter bowl off tomorrow night after a 7.5-7.5 tie, although IBS will need to push themselves seeing as 7.5 would be there high total on the season……..

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Oolie Reply:

I’m shocked the Doctor would make such a libelous and ignorant statement, considering we all know he’s got a more accurate and comprehensive spreadsheet than Hungus himself. I mean, the guy texts ME my new average, total pinfall, and split ratio each Tuesday night.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Please fake Thunder I always put a period after the Dr., I thought all posters out here with some modicum of self respect/decency were rather forthright when discussing the fact that we wouldn’t post under each other’s real handles, alas….

Also worked today Hungus had three of our people wrong due to alcohol poisoning……..

Natro Reply:

I’ve got one too. All good captains should.

Dr Thunder Reply:

As I sated before:

Dr. Thunder Reply:
February 10th, 2012 at 7:47 am

it’s called a running spreadsheet of my team scores, that way when Dungus screws up your average you can contact him and say yo dude you f’d this up……

13 We the People (of Thursday Night) { 02.10.12 at 11:55 am }

Much love to Stevie Strikes, obviously a man for and of the people. Salt of the Earth quick to give free tips and bowling advice and delivered on the 50/50 as promised. Stevie Strikes we salute you. The early music was great minus a DJ, and we can meet you halfway on the Jerks of Grass. We understand playing dance tunes upfront would probably send a bad message to your Thursday night band, so it is time to arm ourselves Thursday nighters. Boom boxes and cardboard boxes will be all the rage once again! We will have breakin 2 boogalo0 going down right on the lanes. Some of our demands are being met for that we salute you. This revolution can be called off right now with the assurance that next year Thursday Night will have a DJ. No assurance and our tent city is coming in a big way! What says you Hunguchev?

Hell no we won’t go!

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The Last Great American Cowboy Reply:

America was founded on hard work, faith in God, and giving charity to those who needed it by the way of the church-not by entitlement. That’s why it is paramount that we do not let these inequities that exist between Tuesday and Thursday go on. We must band together Thursday night and stand before our oppressors and cry out no longer will we listen to nails on the chalkboard, no longer will we not have a 50/50, no longer will we roll on lines that haven’t been oiled since the day prior, no longer will we be patronized by a dictator that can’t get by the ball return without falling down.

You cannot judge us, only God can judge us, we will be heard, and we will be heard loudly in the playoffs!

In Thursday we TRUST!

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Tim Tebow Reply:

Did someone mention God, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Word on the street is my former mentor Dr. Thunder has taken to pointing to the heavens after a strike or big spare pick. It is right to give Him thanks and praise.

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14 Cheddar Watcher { 02.10.12 at 8:58 am }

Whoa looks like Bowl Portland has a new power couple and front runner for the PDA award. Yep Tango and Cheddar. You should have seen these two love birds on lane 3 last night fawning all over each other. Just give them the award now if you can pry it from Oolie and Thunder’s death grip.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Get it stright CW they were on lane two and did look star-crossed…..

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Tango Reply:

It’s hard not to admire bowling prowess..

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15 Thunders Blunders { 02.10.12 at 8:17 am }

Just reading over this board and here is a post from Dr Thunder dated January 17th.

Dr. Thunder Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 6:53 am

Yet, 3 days later he is back talking his brand of smack.

This guy can’t stay away.

Thanks average watcher, but I don’t really care.

I’ve been pretty forthcoming about this, I am bored with the smack talk page and won’t be using this forum regardless of what it is called.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

I try to resist but I can’t, Borker bounce back nicely from the Lovernauts beat down.

Roll Bork!

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Doctor Thunders Wife Reply:

Honey, please listed to Watcher and keep the posts to a minimum. Let’s do dinner tonight?

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

You’re going to dinner with Jammie in Darmiscotta at King Eider’s remeber, I’m going out to dinner with the kids. I’ll text you…..

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16 Thursday Thursday % { 02.10.12 at 8:13 am }

Some of our demands have been met.

Thank you for the 50/50.

I still will be occupying Bowl Portland.

That song Frank’s Reel had me pumped from the opening fiddle!!

Come find me and protest right along, I’ll be the one wearing Dr Dre’s Beats headphones while bowling.

We are Thursday Thursday %

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

I am joining the movement~

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17 Dr. Thunder { 02.10.12 at 3:40 am }

Tango (Thunder’s Bitch) thanks for the motivation 155.8-145.0 at the half way point.

BOOM!

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Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

How do you know the averages?

They haven’t even been posted yet.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

it’s called a running spreadsheet of my team scores, that way when Dungus screws up your average you can contact him and say yo dude you f’d this up……

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Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

You have a spreadsheet with your team scores?

Has MoneyBall now come to Bowl Portland?

Tango Reply:

Ha, umm, Algebra?

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Tango Reply:

Half way Thunder, wait til you play some tough matchups and feel the pressure, that average will drop.

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Probie Reply:

He is cowering away to Florida when he plays us… coincident? I think not…

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Mona Reply:

Oh man, I am sad the Doctor will be away. I was so looking forward to that. Oh well. Happy Travels sir!

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Also are you now calling yourselfs the GOBstoppers???????

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Unfortunately a bad schedule change, we were suppossed to play ICBING that week who we could beat 3 on 4, no offense ICBING, but they are our friends, wouldn’t say rivals because we are waaaaay better than them, but we missed that game last year so had Hungus make a schedule change and wouldn’t you know he puts Yay! that week. Sucks, would have been fun win or lose, don’t worry we are bringing in a ringer to fill in prepare for the house ball warrior Hick From the Sticks!

Tango Reply:

Ha! Wow, 15-0?

18 The people wanna know { 02.10.12 at 2:58 am }

Who won the GOB vs. Yay! match up?????

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Tango Reply:

Yay won. 5-5 going into the 3rd, Yay! caught fire late and pulled it out 10-5.

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Duchess Reply:

Yaaaay!!

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19 Clubber Lang { 02.09.12 at 11:21 am }

No one is going to party harder than Clubber Lang in this 2 on 2 league…..

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Tango Reply:

Dr/Liquor I assume?

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Dick has dropped the Liquor, he is now just Dick…..

Clubber Lang it is!

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20 We the People (of Thursday Night) { 02.09.12 at 6:46 am }

This movement is too big to be stopped! My brothers and sisters of Thursday Night, far too long have we been chained. It is time to break free of our shackles and assemble! And assemble we will. Plan to meet Tuesday night 2/14/12 in the bar area at Bayside Bowl by the picnic table, we will make picket signs, and our voices will be heard!!!!!! We will dance to the DJ, play the 50/50, do we not all pay the same league fee???? Did we get a discount on Thursday for no 50/50 and no dance music???? Wasn’t this league built on having a DJ and dancing around rather than line dancing to bluegrass????? We have suffered through these atrocities now going on 6 weeks, and I tell you this we no longer will stand for it!!!! Make changes or we rally on Tuesday night, if we are still not heard I propose a Thursday night strike!!!! Not the kind that some of our “JV” teams roll! But I propose a strike where we show up for our Thursday games 2/16/12, but we do not make any purchases of food, libations, etc. We will be heard, make changes or the rally and the strike will be on your hands!!!!!

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Stevie Strikes Reply:

I volunteer to run the 50/50 on Thursday nights. It is for the best interest of the entire league with 50 pct. going to a prize fund.

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We the People (of Thursday Night) Reply:

Heck yeah Mona, welcome to the revolution!!!!

Steve thank you for hearing our pleas, Roy Munson takes home the first ever Thursday night 50/50. Early game music was good, Thursday nighters for the late games, let’s plan to bring old school boom boxes for dance tunes on the lanes, everyone can have their own tunes spinning!!!!

Can’t stop, won’t stop, viva la revoluciones!!!!!!

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Karl H. Reply:

just so you know next tuesday is valentine’s day, and we are actually having a country band and country duets all night, and the dining area is going to be packed. so yes, tuesday will be bowling to country music too. probably don’t want to camp out on stage in the middle of a honky tonk set on a crowded night.

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wealth redistribution watcher Reply:

Don’t you see what’s happening???
Hungus is the figurehead of the Tuesday %, and now he’s trying to strongarm us into silence! Oppression is always invisible to those with privilege. He probably thinks the joys of Tuesday will trickle down to Thursdays… TEAR DOWN THIS WALL, Hunguchev!
If not, the tents will go directly where the tons of shoes, bowling bags, and whatnot USED to be before Mona admonished us into compliance.

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Mona Reply:

Although I work for the Man, I’d rather trip over a thousand tent poles than all of that other shit the Tuesday% leave out. When I clock out on Tuesday nights I will join tent-city. I am the Thursday Thursday%.

We the People (of Thursday Night) Reply:

Attica!!!!! Attica!!!!!

Thursday Thursday % Reply:

Well,

We will not be stopped!!

We will occupy the stage the following week!!!

I for one am all for Honky Tonkying!!

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Tango Reply:

Are you implying that my V-day date is House? Also, all my posts are spam, but I didn’t have to tell you that.

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Tango Reply:

Wait what? Country is playing on T-Club’s bye week? This is horseshit! I believe I speak for Roadhouse when I say we are not happy.

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

Sounds perfect for you and Roadhouse, problem solved.

A Very Too Broke Valentine’s
We’re also hosting Bayside favorites Too Broke to Be This Drunk on Valentine’s Day, Feb 14th. While they’re playing some romantic country duets, we’ll be offering our cheap date special. On Valentine’s Day only, you can get two dinner entrees, two draft beers or one bottle of wine, and one dessert to share for only $25!

Mr Stiffy Reply:

Not eating or drinking while bowling on Thursday nights…sounds like a brilliant idea. To make it extra fun, bring earplugs too.

BTW, 50/50 takes money out of your own pocket and gives it to the league/alley or whatever.

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We the People (of Thursday Night) Reply:

Half goes in your pocket, half to the end of the season party fund, that is democratic! Okay we will postpone the revolution, we will see how Tuesday night takes to the honkytonk.

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21 Cheddar Watcher { 02.09.12 at 4:58 am }

Whoa the one looked off the other night in the BEER vs. BIB matchup. Wasn’t so much the scores Bayside’s first 300 averaged around a 180 it was just his “body english”. He wasn’t talking to his teammates, arguing with his opponents and the crowd. Chedds needs to remember fear leads to anger, anger to hate, hate leads to the dark side. It seems BEER feeds off Tom Richards not rolling much, and good team chemistry and certainly that was not there the other night, well the first part was. To make matters worse Chedds welched on a beer frame and gave Bama the finger when he pointed it out. Not sure if said welching was due to unemployment or just the funk the one was in.

In terms of employment word on the street is that the McDonald’s over on Munjoy Hill is hiring. Chedds would make a great short order cook, definitely gonna need to wear gloves though.

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Neo Reply:

Cheddar is the one??? Whoa, Morpheus is going to have to free his mind so he can help me battle the Matrix. The one, the chosen one of Bayside Bowl, I like that. Cheddar I am going to load up the jump program my friend.

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22 Mona Laudley { 02.07.12 at 10:29 pm }

Hey there lovely BoPo family! This isn’t smack talk (I started enough last year), just a word from your friendly neighborhood waitress. The girls and I work hard to bob and weave through the crowded lanes, and most of the time we succeed without anyone getting hurt. However, we do have a hard time when there are tons of shoes and bowling bags and whatnot out on the floor because we tend to trip over them. I beg of you all to please utilize the cubby space, lockers, coat closet/hooks as much as possible so that we can serve you as efficiently as possible.

We also ask that you do not pile your coats on top of one chair since the weight can cause the chair to easily fall backwards and hurt someone. As I piled a bunch of shoes into a cubby today, I knocked over a coat covered chair near 3 Livers and panicked for a moment because I was afraid that the gorgeous little babe on their team was nearby. Luckily no one was hurt this time, but we’ve all been hit by falling chairs and we’ve got the bruises to prove it hurts! Plus, when we have to reach over that pile we tend to spill beer on them because half of us are 5′2″ish and we can’t reach! Sorry!

I know it can be hard to stash everything since it is winter in Maine after all, but please do your best and spread the word. We would really appreciate it. We really love you.

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23 We the People (of Thursday Night) { 02.07.12 at 8:48 pm }

There are some universal truths in Bowl Portland, for example:
1. Is everyone in BoPo psyched about the abolition of slavery? Yes, most definitely.
2. Is everyone for suffrage rights for women in Bowl Portland? Affirmative.
3. Does everyone love the 50/50 raffle? Oh wait, wait, Thursday night doesn’t have a 50/50 raffle????
4. Is everyone psyched for the rocking badass DJ that Bowl Portland employs? Wait, wait, Thursday night doesn’t get a rocking DJ, only get dance tunes if they are the early game.

Have you ever tried to get pumped up for a strike to bluegrass music while a waltz is getting played that would be more suitable for a funeral or one of those tear-jerking life insurance ads where they talk about getting old and never seeing your loved ones again. Real pick me up.

Well my friends that is late game bowling on Thursday Night. Look I know Jerks of Grass kick ass, I used to frequent them at Bramhall Pub and they have a following so they pack the bar area, I get it, but still an inequality. Look I thought this league was about equal rights, peace, and love, not f-ing over Thursday night. We might be “JV”, but this aggression will not stand!

Congratulations Bowl Portland you now have Joe Bornstein on your hands!!!!!!

“Maybe we should settle this one??!?!?!!??!”

We are the Thursday Thursday%, we will not be treated in such ways, we will fight for our rights, we will form general assemblies, we will picket, we will be heard, hear us Tuesday night, not gonna kickstand the Jerks of Grass, at least give us a God damned 50/50!!!!!! We know our rights man………

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Thursday Roller Reply:

Would it be impossible to have the lane speakers play dance music, while the Jerks entertain their followers in the bar area?????

How hard would it be for us to have a 50/50?????

I am ready to assemble, I will be there Tuesday night picket sign in hand!

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Thursday Thursday % Reply:

I have assembled my team and we are ready to occupy Tuesday night.

We plan on setting up a tent right on the stage.

We want what they have!!

Thursday Boring Thursday!!

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T$ Reply:

I was bowling last week and the bassist from the jerks was doing this Victor Wooten slap bass thing and it was impossible to concentrate. Sugar Hill Gang’s Apache or something that I can stand on, please. Again, I love the jerks but my legs were just jelly and my head was all off in the countryside with that manic bluegrass. Just sayin’.

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We the People (of Thursday Night) Reply:

Embrace the revolution Hungus!

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

Yo Tango-
That’s the smacktalk board evaluating your posts as Spam. Getting smacked by the smacktalk board itself, probably not your best…but I’m sure not your worst either.

Tango Reply:

Whoa whoa Thunder, too much coffee this morning? Re-read my post, you’ll clearly discern that I, Tango, agree with the Thursday nighter’s gripes, meaning I support your wish to have dance music and a 50/50. All I was trying to say is this; this page is a place for shit talking, not lobbying for atmospheric change. Take your issues up with Hungus in person, via email, telegraph, smoke signals, what have you. Picket to your heart’s delight. Just make the signs funny, that’s all I ask. I need/want more to laugh at than Mr. Stiffy’s lack of bowling skill.

P.S. I just got censored by the smack talk gods for over-posting, and the website told me to slow down. Clearly the board is not aware of who they’re dealing with here, as my posting habit seems to be frowned upon in this establishment. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Tango why would we expect support from someone not suffering through these inequalities. Trust me dude say what you will, but it is pretty hard to windmill after a strike to the Jerks of Grass. There is a time and a place for all music, but we the people is right this whole league was built on dance music and a party atmosphere, and that is not granted to the late games on Thursday. It’s not terrible, but it certainly is different. You find yourself falling asleep game 3, rather than being energized by some sickly spun tunes. Trust me as has been pointed out many times I am there a lot and the vibe and spirit is much higher on Tuesday, and that has nothing to do with JV vs. varsity, all these folks are asking for is some dance tunes and a 50/50, is that really too much to ask??????

I will be in attendance at the rally come Tuesday!

Tango Reply:

While I agree with your gripes, this is a forum for shit talking, it’s starting to look like Hungus should change the name to “Thursday’s Pity Party Board”.

Mona Laudley Reply:

Agree! It’s bad enough Tuesday teams just come out and tell us we suck, but no DJ OR 50/50? So sad!

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Oolie Reply:

post of the year! (and that even INCLUDES mine).
I stand in solidarity with Thursdays! I’m even composing a protest song. It’s sung to the tune of U2’s famous track from the War album and it’s called Thursday Boring Thursday.
“Broken dreams under my teammates’ feet. Splits get strewn across the lanes without a beat.
How long? How long must we endure this wrong? How long, how lo-oooooo-ong…”

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Oolie Reply:

WE! ARE! THE THURSDAY THURSDAY %!

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We the People (of Thursday Night) Reply:

HELL NO WE WON’T GO! HELL NO WE WON’T GO! We the People (of Thursday Night) will be there with picket signs demanding our basic sovereign rights next Tuesday if we do not have at least a 50/50 tomorrow! Hungus can put his goon Busta in riot gear and violently try to beat down our movement, but know this, you can break our bones, but you will not, cannot, break our spirit! We are the Thursday Thursday % and we will assemble and protest against inequality no matter how big or small. This country was born based on an idea of freedom from persecution and has come a long way, but we aren’t there yet. Especially with Thursday Night sitting at the back of the bus not getting the same bang for their $550 buck!

What will you do without freedom?

24 Dr. Thunder { 02.07.12 at 4:38 pm }

Yo Tango, I am back at work, but my people tell me you just choked away the 10th frame and a point that would have tied game 5-5????

Keep it up kid, hopefully your mates can bail you out Wes Welker…….

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Tango Reply:

How dare you even mention Welker, that’s wayy too soon man. Way too soon.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Just so you know the Dr. found himself in a similar situation 10th frame against BUI this year. Down 18 in 10th frame needed 19 for the 8-7 win, first roll X second roll 9, game over, as Shifter says better to be clutch than good, starting to look like XXX Club’s 5th best male bowler is neither………

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Tango Reply:

Win as a team, lose as a team. T club would destroy TDYOB any night, music or no music. Focus on bowling man, you’re starting to sound like some “Occupy BoPo” wannabe, it’s a bit sad.

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Tango Reply:

Cmon man! The least you could’ve come back with was something like “I only occupy Tango’s nightmares”, or something more clever than that. And I thought you were a clever smack-talker, pfff, snooze, next.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Dude I work for a fortune 500 company, you won’t catch me occupying anything anytime soon. Thursday for the people not me, although the person does bring up some good points. I think we all paid the same league fee, would it be impossible for us to get a 50/50??????

Friend of Tango Reply:

Tango went 192, 140 so shut up you meanie. Hey jerk he might have let some points slip away in that second game, but he had the hiccups, give a guy a break! He will pass you in average in two weeks assface.

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Tango Reply:

Hiccups, haha. Why didn’t I think of that excuse?

25 Dr. Thunder { 02.07.12 at 9:50 am }

Yo Tango can you please start posting about/with someone else dude, I am really working hard not to win the P.D.A. award again…….

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Tango Reply:

A.) I don’t know what the P.D.A. award is, I’m new, remember? B.) I’ll post about/with anyone I want to, you can’t contain this shit. C.) Double Cheese is getting dancing lessons tonight. There, happy?

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Natro Reply:

Coco and I got it two years ago for being most likely to have sex on the lanes. So you can see where it is coming from.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Public Display of Affection Award, Oolie and I won for constantly replying to each other’s posts, want a kiss????????????????

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Tango Reply:

I’ll take your word for it Oolie

Oolie Reply:

I’m a really good kisser, Tango.
Btw, who won the holiday party bowl-off? No one seems to be talking after all that build up, so I assume it was Hungus.

Tango Reply:

Anyone else just boot? Thanks but no thanks dude.

26 Dr. Thunder { 02.07.12 at 8:47 am }

Yo Tango we 100% got a deal for 1st week moniker come draft league. You better start rolling over 200 every damn game, you got a long way to go kid.

Also a.) Molly never checks this board, b.) you gotta be some kind of (I don’t want to write it out) to be posting as another man’s wife.

So whoever made that post stop by and see me the next time we are both at the lanes.

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Tango Reply:

Sweet, referring to the deal. Also, it wasn’t me, I thought it was you. I only ever post as Tango, and I only ever roll as Tango (meaning I won’t be losing this wager, bring it.)

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Good luck dude!

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Tango Reply:

I’m not even 11 pins behind you. It’s ok that you’re scared, it’s only 1 week after all.

27 Doctor Thunders Wife { 02.07.12 at 8:07 am }

Let’s keep all this dialogue innocuous. I get enough dirty talk at home. Can’t we all get along with out all this slander? Everyone is so predictable with their witty comments. This page is so out-of-tune that my husband is running out of bed talk and it’s all become slurred complaints about his 150 avg.

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28 Dr. Thunder { 02.05.12 at 11:27 am }

Holiday party tonight who will be the high roller???? In more ways than one……

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29 Shifter Pawl { 02.04.12 at 6:00 pm }

Wait until the USBC gets a load of Spare Supply. Natro and Shifter Pawl on the same team equals Solid Gold!

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Tango Reply:

Swayze Express is rollin into town people, get ready, be ready. Tango/Roadhouse, even the Swayz himself would be proud, and that’s not an easy task.

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Natro Reply:

Just like Johnny Castle. Swayze Express is like the wind.

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Tango Reply:

2 words. Free. Bowling. Ain’t seen your name up there much Thunder, as far as Natro goes, you’re cool, much better bowler than Thunder.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

I do stand behind the fact that Tango/Roadhouse is gonna blow like the wind though, I can agree with that Roadhouse is good but Tango is a choker and a pretty terrible bowler.

Natro Reply:

I’ll admit. It was a stretch. Swayze killed Dirty Dancing. And Baby was like the wind. I do stand behind the fact that Tango/Roadhouse is gonna blow like the wind though.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

whoa Natro that was super cheesy dude….

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Dick Liquor and Dr. Thunder look forward to destroying this team. BOOM!

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G Boy Reply:

Gboy and Bama are in, BABY!!!!

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Tango Reply:

Ok Thunder, let’s make a deal, a bet if you will, and let’s make it public so when I win you can’t back out on it. If I have a lower average than you at season’s end, I’ll roll the 1st week of draft league under the monicker of “Thunder’s Bitch”. You lose, you’re “Tango’s Bitch” We got a deal?

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Let’s see if you can translate that into league, although probably just rolling you once.

Tango Reply:

While I agree that no one cares what I put up in practice, practice is the only way one can win free bowling, so what’s your point Brah? Also, I’ve won it 3 times, 265 228 243, suck it BlunderBoy

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Tango I have won free bowling twice, last time was in the fall with a 254, certainly not a paltry 228.

Dude no one cares what you put up in practice, you are a 139.5 guy with a 0 next to your name under 200, hey I don’t claim to be great but I am a 150.6 guy with a 1 next to my name under 200, certainly better than you!

30 XXX Club { 02.03.12 at 6:51 pm }

Sorry our preseason bravado, well, well now, it just looks silly. We are really starting to love losing. Losing is good. Tango is our 5th best male bowler, guy is a 130 dude and he walks around like he is Cheddar. We will trade him for a bucket of chum and a kick in the nuts. We will take said kick in the balls. Any takers?????

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Sorry no use for him on TDYOB, he’d be our worst male bowler too. He was our worst bowler at the hat tournament too, but we won inspite of him…….

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Natro Reply:

Surely you mean despite. Or in spite of? If you are going to have a discussion with yourself online, don’t sound like an idiot.

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Tango Reply:

Dude I wouldn’t't wanna be on TDYOB, ever. Have you seen the beer these joke shows drink? High life’s. Really? Miller high life? You guys are delusional! The only thing high about your lives is the margin by which the nauts beat your ass

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Natro Reply:

Stupid autocorrect on the blackberry. Combining words when I totally mean to put a space in there.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

won

Dr. Thunder Reply:

they are American Coronas dude, and yes Natro we one in spite of him, not despite him, if you are going to correct someone don’t look like an idiot doing it, yes I made in spite one word due to blackberry:

Despite

Despite means “even though,” “notwithstanding,” or “regardless of.” It’s the opposite of “because of/due to,” and can be used with a noun or gerund.

She had difficulty communicating in French despite all her years of study.

We lost the game, despite the fact that we practiced all week.

Despite not having an umbrella, I walked home in the rain.

In spite of

In spite of means exactly the same thing and is used exactly the same way as “despite.”

She had difficulty communicating in French in spite of all her years of study.

We lost the game, in spite of the fact that we practiced all week.

In spite of not having an umbrella, I walked home in the rain.

The Bottom Line

The English terms despite and in spite of are synonyms. Despite might be a tiny bit more formal, but the two terms are interchangeable. Just be careful not to say something like “despite of” or “in despite” - it’s always either the three words in spite of, or just the single word despite.

moron……

Tango Reply:

^^ like

31 Bayside Bowl { 02.03.12 at 11:55 am }

Folks

Just wanted to let you know that we will be down 2 lanes this next week, as Dr Thunder and TDYOB has reserved the lanes for the next week

You might be able to join them during one of the practice sessions, but I doubt it.

And we are closed Sunday evening for our holiday party. We have extended an invitation to Cheddar and Dr Thunder, as we consider them employees of Bayside.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Wait, wait, I don’t work there? Sweet, that’s just great, now I need to find an f-ing job…….

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32 Dr. Thunder { 02.02.12 at 9:09 pm }

Congrats to Luvers they smoked our asses 10-0, 11-4. Great rolling guys. Tango you lost the Dr turded out to the tune of 144 avg. Humble pie coming up.

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Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

Ouch

Cheddar watcher and Dr Thunder are the same?

I wonder if Dr Thunder Watcher is the same as Dr Thunder?

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Tango Reply:

That makes 1 of us you troll

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Dude who are you calling a troll? I didn’t think you had a signficant other??? I mean just look at yourself……

Tango Reply:

Rufio sanitized the turd outta you Thunder, better luck next time.

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Ouch Reply:

Must’ve been the lanes, huh?

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Cheddar Watcher Reply:

Nope they were better than us, they killed it they beat us 569-409 and 602-532, was over before it even started. Rufio, Sanitizer, and Luka were off the hook last night all rolling 168 or above! Was awesome stuff.

I never blame lane conditions, losers and assholes blame lane conditions. No offense.

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Tango Reply:

They should disagree occasionally though, wouldn’t want people thinking they’re the same person and Thunder’s talking to himself, again.

Mr Stiffy Reply:

Good thing Cheddar Watcher and Dr Thunder agree with each other

Dr. Thunder Reply:

I agree with Cheddar Watcher.

33 cheddar { 02.02.12 at 1:30 pm }

No offense B.U.I. I think you are a great team but there is no way in hell that i will be joining your team in 2013. I have B.E.E.R. running through my veins everyday.

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Duchess Reply:

I see enough of you anyway…

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Cheddar Watcher Reply:

Sounds like, “I repeat no new taxes.”

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34 Cheddar Watcher { 02.02.12 at 7:09 am }

Word on the street is he signed his contract to join B.U.I. 2013 Bowl Portland this week. Tom Richards has a year to figure out his ball; however, there is some talk that either Busta or Bama will be filling his spot on BEER.

That’s all for now, now back to your regularly scheduled programming…….

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35 Oolie { 02.01.12 at 11:39 am }

I’ve tried and I’ve tried to balance out the good doctor’s incessant and buffoonish posts with a touch of humor, sophistication, and class (except the one about anal play - that was a lil’ icky). I figure the league deserves a Maddow to his Newt. Predictably, he brings it right back to the mind-numbing jock jam rhetoric that we’ve all come to expect from a washed-up juicer who so desperately craves an audience.
It seems the only thing he can muster so that he might feel good in this world is to tell others that they suck. Then rinse and repeat. And repeat again. I get it… simple solutions for simple minds. If WE are this tired of hearing the one-note tune out of you, Doctor Thunder, it’s hard to imagine the inner dialogue that it takes in order to sustain the enthusiasm with which you sing it! Phew. It must take it’s toll on a man!
At the risk of repeating my own chorus, I’ll say this: I love bowling. It’s a fickle game, man - gutters and strikes… But, I love my teammates even more. We have all taken turns sucking royally. We can take our lumps for now. But if you recall, it was THEY who offered you and YOUR team a challenge to earn some real-world credibility. You made a very conscious decision to duck it. I propose a resolution. Why not have a TDYOB flag emblazoned with your credo? “‘TIS BETTER TO HAVE NEVER BOWLED THAN TO HAVE BOWLED AND LOST”

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Sorry dude I wasn’t OOlie Watcher so there is at least one other person that pegs you for a fraud and a dbag, no offense. “Washed up juicer” that did make me laugh, come on I am not Mr. Stiffy and trust me had I juiced we would have never have met unless I signed an autograph for you kid. Sent from a barstool no dictionary so forgive any rhetoric/grammatical mistakes Droolie.

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

I don’t know how I got brought into this, but you two are well on your way to defending the only title you’ll ever win….

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

WTF- I’m not anonymous

Anonymous Reply:

Thunder you gotta stop googling me…and I did not win rookie of the year. Magic Hands! Which means I bowl better lefty than you can righty

Dr. Thunder Reply:

this ain’t Falmouth high school dude and sisters of the poor and 13 spring baseball games kid, you too ain’t won shit in your life. Sweet you got rookie of the year in a beer bowling league….that should suffice for not even had made it to the minors……..

oolie watcher Reply:

Can you put the dictionary away when you post? You sure don’t talk like this in person….

Not impressing anyone.

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Oolie Reply:

wow. what avarice! with all this watching, i’d think you’d do some looking at books, too. guess not.
if i tend to be verbose or a bit ornate with my prose, my condolences. i’m not on a quest to confound or obfuscate. i guess i just find it’s easier to express myself more accurately with a comprehensive lexicon. this shit’s straight off the cuff. and i play a lot of ‘words with friends’.
i do flip through my trusty American Heritage Dictionary frequently (it’s awesome) - but not while i’m on the smack board.

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36 Shifter Pawl { 01.31.12 at 7:46 pm }

I’m not claiming it but who has the most bowl off experience? I’ve said it before, I would rather be clutch than good……..

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Agree with Shifter.

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37 Dr. Thunder { 01.31.12 at 7:24 pm }

Well next week IBS has a bye, so Oolie won’t be writing a cash with his mouth that hecan’t cash. Although if there is a way to lose a bye Bowl Portland’s resident loser Droolie will find a way to do it.

So let’s get this out of the way for Oolie for week 6 and 7:
Week 6
IBS versus Bye
Oolie:
Bye bye, bye, when we get through with you there won’t be a dry eye (on your team) we will be shakin’ and bakin’, rolling low 100’s, fake takin’ turds, wishin’ we were Larry Birds, hee-haw, well I (Oolie) suck, no way to lose a bye, bye bye…..

Week 7
Oolie:
Good afternoon No Eye Deer, when we get our 2-2.5 points you are gonna have no idea what hit you (see what I did there-oh how clever I am, sure we are about to be 1-5, but boy am I clever)……

In the words of Tyler Durden, how’s that working out for you, being clever? So far worked out to the tune of 1-4, no offense to your teammates, but I love watching you lose, if you weren’t on IBS I’d like nothing better than for IBS to be 5-0 right now. Well Oolie if anything you are proving your record, average, and quarters run was an anomaly last year, your team name suits you, shit usually finds its right level, the bottom……

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38 cheddar { 01.31.12 at 12:56 pm }

my balls are made of cheddar cheese

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

triscuit and pepperoni anyone?????

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39 Oolie { 01.31.12 at 11:07 am }

Doctor: the word is “drivel”.
What in the hell medical school did you go to??
Maybe you’d be able to back up your own posturing if your team hadn’t been relegated to the B-league night. I know, I know… It doesn’t make any difference, “size doesn’t matter”, blah blah blah. IBS would probably be having waaay more fun beating up on minnows, too. You’re right.
Luckily, it’s Week 5.
Playoffs is the playoffs, son. We make waves there. You’ve yet to make a splash.
xoxoxo;)

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

yet again you fail to back up your smack, hiatus from idiotic proclamations needed, maybe???????

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Oolie Reply:

and it absolutely KILLS you, doesn’t it? to know you can’t dominate this game… or even crack the top 20…
you know what they say about sunshine and dogs’ asses - someday you’ll get yer chance, Thunder.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Nope, top 20 on Thursday last year, top 10 on Thursday this year, season is young droolie, you got 4 pins on me this year that can disappear fast so roll well tonight. This like ultimate for you, or at least by the way you play it seems to be is my offseason hobby.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Math if it helps congrats your team avg would leave you 11th out of 20 on B night, sorry that still sucks!

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Also I am on record admitting I suck, that said this is a team sport, and we would shit stomp your team, just like the Tuesday teams have been doing. Also at least we are having fun, can you look in the mirror and say the same? I watched you guys last week morale seems pretty low, like your self-esteem, but you aren’t a leader, that’s been proven, you destroyed morale on your summer league team, and now doing it on your bowling team. You are a front runner and nothing more, also you are incapable of talking smack in person, which is just embarrassing. Pick up that dictionary and have a gander at the word fraud, then grab a mirror my friend……ouch, sorry it’s just smack it you are taking it personally break all those mirrors……no one goes soft from having a kid, as William Wallace says I have been given nothing, God makes us what we are, and if there is a God he made you soft, it shows out on the fields and on the lanes, and this year your ringer Killer B you had to bring in last year because you had no faith in your team is sporting a nice 115 avg, where will you turn too next?????? Does Oolie whore himself out to the highest bidder next year? Time will tell, hopefully we get the chance to curb-stomp you in the playoffs, if you make it, which at this juncture is doubtful. Barry has worked himself into a lather and is on a mission tonight, looks like IBS gets their 4th flushing tonight! Gotta ask, how do you have a win???? Guess not all of Tuesday is “Varsity” material…….

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Oolie Reply:

Shit talk’s my game win or lose and I never rub it in afterward. Unless, of course, it was against TDYOB. I’d revel in that sure victory.
But as all can bear witness: Dr. Thunder, as brave and valiant captain, absolutely vanished when there came talk of an IBS/TDYOB showdown last season. He was demoralized, and had lost all confidence in his teammates. He fled to pasture when the rubber met the road.
Come April, remember your wintertime boasts and we’ll see if you’re not runnin’ for the hills. Again.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Also Droolie you’ve been in the league since the beginning and have one quarters appearance, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Your 493 team average would be doormatsville on Thursday Night B league as well. Let me speak plainly here, you suck and everyone knows it…….

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Natro Reply:

I believe the good doctor was referring to what you leave in your hand after you look up your big words in said dictionary. A dribble from your balls, if you will.

And he didn’t go to medical school. He got his doctorate in smacktalkiology from the University of Toomuchego.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

exactly Natro, well to some of it I concur…..

University of Toomuchego, love that!

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40 Oolie { 01.31.12 at 7:26 am }

My Balls are itching…
for a BEATdown tonight!!
Yeah, that’s right. They’re beggin’ for a peggin’… huntin’ for a puntin’… requestin’ a bestin’… pleadin’ for a bleedin’… askin’ for a smackin’… uhh, soliciting a … broken wing? I’m out.

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Tango Reply:

Cute smack talk Oolie, I like the use of the double entendre, reminds me of the the time when I too had my first beer.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

I concur your balls will get beatdown tonight. IBS can’t beat anyone right now. My Balls shows with three they will roll right over and through you.

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Oolie Reply:

you fell right into my trap, Doctor. My Balls don’t have the gumption to hurt my balls. I mean, maybe an ill-aimed finger flick, but definitely not a doubled-over-direct-hit with the knee, or anything.
Barry is their ace and he’s gone soft with his newfound parental sensitivities. Just like you.
meanwhile, I’m still tough while the little one is in utero…

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Oolie Reply:

weird?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxBx0nfRp9s&feature=related

Oolie Reply:

yes, Filthy. yes i am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EviIu2YqVyg

Karl H. Reply:

that is one hell of a bat solo

Dr. Thunder Reply:

No offense, but your team is a doormat, one of the worst in the entire league, smack talk from a team that averages 491 falls a little short, utero, or no-utero……..also you have yet to back up your smack talk all season, you come on here with your normal dictionary in hand dribble then show up at the lanes and take your 13-2 beat down. Evenly matched teams, let’s see if for once this year you can back up your talk??????

Filthy McNasty Reply:

Yo Oolie, are your balls tough enough? Is that you with the hat on?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By86PcLufOU&ob=av2e

41 Dr. Thunder { 01.27.12 at 5:48 am }

Hearing a lot of this Tuesday/Thursday crap, blah, blah, blah, Tuesday has the better teams, I can agree with that overall, but what I really want to know who is leading in bar sales, the key indicator to partying, Hungus what say you?????????

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Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

We all know which night leads in bar sales.

I see you guys are off to a good start. 4-0 in league play on Thursdays.

Great job

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

TDYOB is just looking to hang out, have a few laughs, drink a few beers, if we happen to win a couple games along the way so be it.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Good point watcher:
TDYOB is just looking to hang out, have a few laughs, drink a few beers, if we happen to win a couple games, and piss offf a few teams along the way so be it.

Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

What about piss a few teams off?

ha ha

42 Oolie { 01.26.12 at 11:43 am }

I have had this song stuck in my head for two days straight, and I JUST figured out why…
This Smack Board is so near and dear to my heart - and my subconscious. I love BowlPortland! (Hungus: please enable the link for all to enjoy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB1D9wWxd2w&feature=player_embedded#!

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Troy Reply:

That song is terrible. Holy hell. Can’t believe I wasted even 30 seconds watching that.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Gotta disagree with my teammate it is a marvelous song.

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Oolie Reply:

Don’t you DARE speak of Double M like that!
I mean, that assymetric hairdo, the gloves, the high kicks… shit’s CLASSIC. Nobody sings “yo ladd ta may” like him. Nobody.

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Alley-lujan Reply:

Arguably the greatest song ever written. It’s on my short list for wedding songs. ‘Nuff said.

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43 Bulge Temptingly { 01.24.12 at 1:50 pm }

Pinny Candy has team unity. They show that by sharing their names with candy. Pinny Candy. I like it. It makes me wonder, ‘Did they name themselves after random candies or did they pick their favorites?’ Then I start to think, ‘Are they super old to still remember the concept of Penny Candy which is obviously where they came up with their name?’ I continue to ponder ‘If they are super old, are they actually still huge fans of candy?’ and ‘Will they have candy at the lanes?’ and ‘Will they share the candy with us?’ ‘Will they request a penny for each candy they give us or will the just give us a candy for each pin we knock down?’ Get the FUCK out of my head Penny Candy!!! Nice try but I’m done pondering your ‘oooh soo cuute’ names! DONE!!! I am Bulge-fucking-Temptingly!!! You wanna ponder where I get my name from?! Nothing cute about the Pinups. We bowl. We fucking bowl…

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

They will give you a fucking beat down, you can count on that!

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44 Oolie { 01.24.12 at 11:23 am }

I like cunnilingus as much as the next guy - or Lesbowlian - but that doesn’t mean that I endorse the use of lazy, outmoded wordplay in BoPo.
While the Linguists may feel they’ve got the edge on us in oral skills, when it comes to anal play (and actual bowling), we are clearly the nastier team. Our bowls are feeling especially irritable today, so if you’ve got slip covers for your shoes, I’d wear them. And bring extra bottles of Purell. IBS is gettin down and dirty tonight!

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Gutterslut Reply:

Make sure to wear protection tonight and get your morning after pills at rite aid now. There is not enough lane oil in all of bayside to make this go down smooth.

Slut, Slutty, Sluttiest!!!!

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Was only there for a couple games, but this one did not look close. At least Oolie is keeping up his mantra of “Talk shit whether you win or lose.”, and the way his squad looks it’s gonna be the latter. Definitely got them pegged for a play-in team, no offense to play-in teams…….

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

“So,

Is your job hanging out at the lanes?

I wish. What type of salary could once procur for this occupation because right now it just seems to cost me money…..

Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

So,

Is your job hanging out at the lanes?

45 Cheddar Watcher { 01.24.12 at 6:37 am }

Mr. Bangor Family Fun Center cannot like the early returns on the poll. The best bowler in tonight’s match up must be getting a tad peeved by the early results. This being Cheddar’s last year on BEER with a move to B.U.I. in the offing for next year, he definitely expects to go out with a bang. That starts tonight. BEER 10 Walkaways 5.

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Tebow Time Reply:

Dr. Blunder voted 50 times on the poll….

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

50? That sounds a tad high, more like around 20, and for Walkaway every time. That said I’m rooting for BEER……..

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Funny man Reply:

Ha ha

Dr Blunder

That made me laugh..

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46 Cheddar { 01.22.12 at 7:53 pm }

All I have to say is be thankful, yes very thankful that you get the opporuntiy to bowl at Bayside . I have been bowling at different houses across Maine for the past year and a half and Bayside Bowl is in a class all by itself. A wonderful place to bowl with working machines that are not constantly dropping pins, not resetting themselves (this isnt candelpin for god sakes) after every shot, there are no holes in the lanes, no crazy kids locked up in playpens (actually happened at Skowvegas lanes, ask McQueen), no scoring systems that you ned a 40hr course to understand and or operate. Yes Bayside, you are a king among bowling alleys. Hats off to you. Cheers!

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Cheddar you told me the lanes sucked tonight, you gonna revise your statement?

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cheddar Reply:

I rolled better than a 149.9 average….

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

You did, also clutch XXX at end of game one, that said I think I could have beaten your 146 game two, ha-ha, also I don’t blame the lanes, I just suck……

Dr Thunder Watcher Reply:

Boom!!

Yeah, it’s the only place The Dr can be loud and obnoxious

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

“only place”?

Clearly you do not know me very well. Okay Cheddar just report your scores from this Bangor place so you can save me five minutes next time we run into each other which is probably today around 4:15 p.m……..

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Cheddar Watcher a.) I am Cheddar Watcher what the hell you thinking using one of my ghost ID’s? b.) No, we do not work together, I have a job.

Cheddar Watcher Reply:

Do you guys work together?

Is that how you run into each other?

Anonymous Reply:

I think everyone knows where I stand by now in this regard.

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Natro Reply:

Nice try Hungus.

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cheddar Reply:

Actually no, this really is cheddar; Tim Schneider. Just wanted to say how wonderful bayside really is. You should have seen the problems encountered yesterday at Bangor family fun lanes. One of the worst bowling alleys I have ever seen.

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Tango Reply:

Right there with ya Cheds, I’d have sex with bayside if she’d let me, out of my league though..

47 Bowled and in the way { 01.19.12 at 7:47 am }

OK,

So we are getting older and it is very important for us to stretch.

You might have seen Cheddar laying on the ground “stretching” it out. Look at what it has done for his game.

Well, I found a great article which explains some stretches we can and should do before each time we roll.

Here’s a bowling warm-up routine I came across and use with great success. I forget where I found it or who wrote it. If anyone knows, let me know and I’ll give them credit…

Warming up the muscles and joints of the body is important before any exercise and bowling is no different. While bowling is a gentle exercise, it is possible for the muscles and joints to be strained, for example, if you should stick on the approach. More importantly, repeated strain is put on various areas of the body - the arms, wrists and knees in particular. Without proper preparation it is possible for microtrauma to build up over time and cause serious injury. To help prevent this, the following exercises stretch and warm up the main areas that will be stressed when bowling and these exercises should be done before each bowling session - including practices

Hold each of the stretches for a count of 8 to get the maximum effect!
Shake the body to relax the muscles after each exercise.

Neck Stretch - Tuck your chin down until it touches your chest and you can feel tension at the back of your neck.

Shoulder Stretch - Feet apart, extend your hands downwards behind your back. Lay one hand in the other, with one thumb across the other, fingers pointing downward. Without letting your stomach stick out, pull down strongly with your hand so you can feel tension in your shoulders. Change hands and repeat.

Side Stretch - Extend your right arm up over your head and put your right hand on your left shoulder blade (or as close as possible). Put your left hand on your right elbow and pull it across, leaning to the left as you do so, until you feel tension in your side. Change hands and repeat.

Knee/Thigh Stretch - Place your left leg back and your right leg forward, hands on the thigh near the hip, NEVER near the kneecap! Shift your weight forward remaining as upright as possible and keeping both feet flat on the floor. Change and repeat.

Forearm Extenders - Extend your right arm with the palm facing down. Drop the fingers and palm at the wrist. Grasp fingers with the other hand and pull towards the body. Change and repeat.

Forearm Flexers - Extend your right arm with the palm facing away from the body and with the hand bent upwards from the wrist. Grasp your fingers with the other hand and pull towards the body. Change and repeat.

Deep Breathing/Relaxation - take a deep breath and hold for a count of 6 (not 8 - we don’t want you to faint for lack of air!). Repeat twice (total of 3 deep breaths)

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Oolie Reply:

Miss Manners is looking to reinvent herself as a fitness guru?

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Tango Reply:

I think you forgot 16 Oz. curls, hold for an 8 count, switch arms and repeat

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Deputy Reply:

I like where you heads

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

you like where the head is at on the stretching, drinking, or both?

Deputy Reply:

at

48 Dr Thunder Watcher { 01.18.12 at 1:36 pm }

Holy Hell Batman

Does this guy talk to himself on the board all day long?

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Like in the scene in The Doors where Pam says to Jim: “You actually stick your dick in this woman Jim Morrison?”

Yeah sometimes………

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49 Jah { 01.18.12 at 1:31 pm }

Greetings bredrin and sistren! Glory unto the Most High, Jah Rastafari, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah! I see me personal favorite team Bingas has fallen on hard times ya’ll. Stay lifted me bredrin and sistren and remember in the words of the great Bob Marley, “Everything gonna be allright.”

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50 Oolie { 01.18.12 at 7:45 am }

BEER had their way with us. It’s true.
I scored the lone point by edging out Slow Roll for bottom point in the first game. Also true.
No amount of victories could eclipse the quiet satisfaction I feel knowing that all season long, BEER will be humiliating themselves in those “custom-tailored” microwave popcorn bags they wear as shirts! Very, very, very true.

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Karl H. Reply:

What do you not get about Sexy?

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Oolie Reply:

we love the cheddar-toned accents

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Oolie Watcher Reply:

What a stand up guy, he gets the shit kicked out of him stands up and owns it. #respect

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Natro Reply:

Hey Smithson Leverage. Hash tags don’t work on smack talk boards.

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Smithson Leverage Reply:

Greetings from Vancouver! Not sure why I am getting drawn into this? Must be due to the fact that my old pal Leding is involved in this league, much like I get drawn into it from time to time on the Ultimate Smack Talk Board, although Mike seems to have far more success in that forum than this.

Furious George is steeped in our training sessions right now as we attempt to make it back to Nationals in 2012. Still unable to get Leding to relocate out here to help us make one last run, but it appears he is giving up competitive Ultimate for bowling, appears to be a bad call from a health perspective but I digress. Also what is a hash tag, although I have been known to partake in a little hash if you know what I mean?

Anyway, downtown Vancouver has been put back together after the anarchist riots, feel free to head out and visit, we must have some bowling alleys around here somewhere. I am not sure, as I am not a total dork, and; therefore, do not bowl.

Leding please have these turds cease invoking my name before I need to come down there and smash some heads. Although aggression therapy has done wonders for me, I’m still able to throw the Wu Tang down when duty calls.

Mr Stiffy Reply:

He also posts using his handle and not “____ Watcher”
Bravo

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Mr. Stiffy Watcher Reply:

Pound sand ya turd, why don’t you stand up in front of us with a nice shinny award looking uncomfortable for a half an hour…….

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Yo Smithson, get a life dude, it’s Red Tide Ultimate for me, or nothing.

51 Holy Bible Watcher { 01.17.12 at 12:24 pm }

Seems Thunder’s favorite failed quarterback is getting horny these days. On Saturday, Tebow wore these verses on his eyeblack (true story)… Ezekiel 23:19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

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Tony Rice/Tommy Frazier Reply:

We are Thunder’s favorite QB’s believe that fool!

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52 Smack Talk Board Watcher { 01.17.12 at 11:24 am }

7 Dr. Thunder watcher { 01.17.12 at 5:55 am } Was his own page too much for him?

Must be his 148 avg

I want the idiot that made the above post to make him/herself public so they can get their proper flogging. Ever heard of letting a sleeping dog lie. No, you had to rattle Dr. Blunder’s cage and now we all have to wade through his shit!

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Yeah Right Reply:

As if…..

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53 Cheddar Watcher { 01.17.12 at 10:44 am }

Let’s dissect tonight’s BEER vs. IBS matchup. On paper doesn’t look close yet the spread is still -4. Questions tonight:
1. Does Cheddar, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to steal a line from Tim Tebow, keep his streak of games over 200 alive tonight?
2. Does Cheddar roll more than 1 or 2 games tonight?
3. Will Charlie and Carlin settle their dispute of who the true leader of the Bayside Ultimate Club was this past summer?
4. Will Filthy make good on his New Years resolution or does it go down in flames tonight?
5. Does the rumored return of Killer B happen tonight, and if it does, does it even matter?
6. Will Kaylene and Rebecca settle their dispute of who the real female shut down defender was on the Bayside Ultimate Club this past summer?

Forecast BEER 13 IBS 2

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PO-MO BOPO Reply:

Cheddar Watcher is like the kid that just discovered Journey and won’t STFU about them.
Your revolution is over, Mr Cheddar Watcher, condolenscences. IBS is the great hyped hope.

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Worst Post of the Year Reply:

and there it was……

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Natro Reply:

Who are these Charlie and Carlin characters? And Kaylene and Rebecca for that matter.

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Deez Nutz Reply:

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ mutha fuckin NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

Oh yeah, great set up by me….

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54 Dr. Thunder watcher { 01.17.12 at 10:30 am }

Must be a slooow day at work for him.

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Slow Worker Reply:

I run a small cabinet and trim business. My lead employee has over 20 years experience (only 2 years with me). Unfortunately, he’s slowing down noticeably and I’m starting to price myself out of my market as I try to cover costs to the business. I am trying to increase efficiency generally but I am getting more and more questions from contractors regarding the time it takes to do things. We are only myself, my main employee and an apprentice, so we each contribute a large share to the cost structure. This employee is great in many, many respects but I am increasingly wondering if I can afford him. He does not handle change or pressure well. He is a perfectionist but he spends endless hours on details that no one sees or appreciates. Making changes to work habits that have developed over decades isn’t easy. Perhaps this is just a rant as I look at my year end accounts. Has anyone been in this sort of situation?

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Cheddah Reply:

God knows I could use a job…….

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55 Tebow Time { 01.17.12 at 8:32 am }

Ephesians 2:8-10
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

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Natro Reply:

“If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:26,27

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Mr. Jiffy Reply:

define “unspotted”?

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Natro Reply:

There are two readings of unspotted. One, which is the one I prefer, has to do with being with one’s god by yourself and not calling attention to yourself. That is the reading that I was considering in this quote as it relates to Mr. Tebow.

The other reading, which I believe is more canonical, which I believe doesn’t reflect the text of the passage, is that you should keep yourself from letting the world taint you.

Atheist Reply:

There is no God.

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Taint Reply:

TAINT!

Natro Reply:

But the only defense against one quoting scripture is scripture.

Johnny Cash Reply:

Hello, I am Johnny Cash. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

56 Tim Tebow { 01.17.12 at 8:30 am }

“We all know of people who thought they could to it (whatever “it” is) tomorrow. We have all procrastinated on such a way, and often to our personal regret. It happens time and again, putting off things that we convince ourselves might be better, more meaningful, more appropriate for another time. So often that better time either never comes or really isn’t better or more appropriate after all. And then, sadly, the window of opportunity -to do something great- closes.” —-(Story of Dr. Blunders Life)

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Tim Tebow Reply:

Please ya’ll, don’t take my quotes and use them as put downs. I would never look to denegrate, or put another human down. I am about, peace, love, and hope. I’m like the white Obama. Also hello Mr. Cash I like your music, I hope it is fiction though.

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Johnny Cash Reply:

Hi Tim. I am dead.

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57 Dr. Thunder { 01.17.12 at 7:55 am }

Man seems people forget what this page is for. Everyone ghost posting, no one has the sac to post something under their name.

Here is smack talk, Honey Badger, Rosie, Dr. Honniker, et al, the battle of the frisbee teams (well the people in the league that can actually play frisbee well, no offense BEER/IBS (save for Filthy dude has mad hands and is a champion)) commences this Thursday Night. Don’t go soft on us Snakes and skip the pre-party at Peanut Gutter’s, TDYOB will be there getting loose. Then upon arrival at the lanes we are going to dispatch you on the lanes just like we would on the fields!

You got a date on Thursday baby!

Roll Bork!

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

As advertised that was no contest. UREA is next, should be a good match up!

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

P.S. Mr. Stiffy it is obvious you could use some practice bro……..

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

Are we still talking about practice?

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Ha-ha, yes doesn’t it make perfect or is that old adage bullshit?

58 Anonymous { 01.17.12 at 7:26 am }

Holy shit! You idiots over there at Bayside Bowl starting up a fucking hockey league in that shit-hole of a parking lot??????

Ever heard of sand and salt? Gotta wear my motorcycle helmet when walking through that rink so I don’t fall and split open my bald head and have blood running down my salt & pepper beard. Splits happen is gonna be a reference to people’s heads if you all don’t get that parking lot figured out.

Over here at Yankee Lanes the front end loaders have their lot cleaned up nice. You are actually walking on concrete when you head through the doors to start attacking pins on their 30 pristine lanes of love. I had the hoobastank cranked up real loud the other day and kicked the shit out of my all-time high registering a 142. I’m gonna be the king of Tuesday’s soon.

By the way stop watering down the drinks, like you’ve obviously been watering down the parking lot!

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

Bayside parking lot joke - check
Yankee Lanes condition update - check
Mediocre high game reference - check
Hoobastank playing in background - check

:yawn:

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Blind? Reply:

Hey Dildo what value are you adding captain hee-haw?

You best be damn lucky we don’t play each other in the regular season.

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

you best be damn lucky we don’t play each other in the post season.

59 Dr. Thunder watcher { 01.17.12 at 5:55 am }

Was his own page too much for him?

Must be his 148 avg

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

152.3 avg

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Average Watcher Reply:

Not sure anyone is too concerned with their average after two weeks.

I wish I had a 148 average right now.

People that concern themselves with their averages are tools. Bowl Portland has always been about having fun and breaking it down on the lanes.

Yeah Bowl Portland!

Boo DB’s hung up on average!

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Thanks average watcher, but I don’t really care.

I’ve been pretty forthcoming about this, I am bored with the smack talk page and won’t be using this forum regardless of what it is called.

As for my average it is up ten from the first week and will continue to go up, it’s very early, and this pattern ain’t that hard, been putting in the practice (183, 175, 198, 133 yesterday). I am more concerned with wins and loses, TDYOB is off to a good start and as a team we will only continue to get better as we look to lock up a high seed for the tourney. My average will be right where it should be come year end.

Roll Bork!

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Mr Stiffy Reply:

Practice?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frsId3goYYE

60 Natro { 01.15.12 at 8:09 am }

Same smack smell.

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Natro Watcher Reply:

get a new line tool.

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Natro Watcher Watcher Reply:

Agree Natro is a tool, looks like that fat dude lead singer from Iron and Wine, although when it comes to Natro the wine should be spelled whine because he is always crying about not ever having won anything in his life.

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Natro Reply:

Sam Beam’s beard is way fuller than mine. I’d say I look more like Zach Galifianakis.

And I don’t remember whining, but I’m usually drunk.

Tim Tebow Reply:

Geesh that is caustic. To me there shouldn’t even be a smack talk page. It should just be about spreading love and peace and the word of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Heck, I love to win as much as the next guy, but to me it’s more about the positive impact you can make in people’s lives rather than the wins and loses.

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