#2 Back in Black 9 #9 Strikes of Hazzard 6

#14 Saucy Posse 12 Young & Bowled 3

Incredibowls 8 Pinups 7

#3 Body English 14 #13 IBS 1

#20 Cunning Linguists 12 #4 Bingas 3

#8 LOS 10 #6 Off Constantly 5

My Balls 12.5 Splits Happen 2.5

No Eye Deer 7.5 Bowlderdash 7.5 (Shifter Pawl over Dombomb in roll-off)

#18 Turkey Club 12 Nutz 3

#1 Walkaways 15 Three Livers 0

Team down! If only we had known two weeks ago we could have stayed with 40 teams, but so far I like what I’ve seen from Guacabowle so I guess it all worked out for the best.  Now we just need a new Thursday team… BoPo had seen two forfeits in four years and now two in two weeks?  Yikes.

Early Games

#18 Turkey Club (1-1) -1 vs Nuts (0-2): Interesting game here.  The Nuts have nothing to be ashamed of in losses to L.O.S. and Walkaways, but their averages aren’t what you’d expect.  The Clubbers got a win under their belt, but this one would be much more impressive.  Tango is the reigning free-bowling winner…

My Balls (0-1) -3 vs Splits Happen (0-2): Someone is getting their first win of the season.  My Balls captains Bubbles and Barry had the good sense to have their baby on their bye week, actually on their bye night.  Not sure when Elliott will make his BoPo debut but Barry wants a win for his son.  Splits seem to be scuffling along this year, having little go right since Leroy opened the season with 6 strikes.

N.E.D. (1-1) -3 vs Bowlderdash (0-2): Bowlderdash actually has a 12 pin higher average than NED.  Hmmm.  I have no idea what to make of this game as I haven’t really watched either team play yet.  I think BowlderDash may be wishing they were on Thursdays where they have more kindred spirits.  A win might change their tune, and with a bye week followed by Splits Happen, they could actually be at .500 after week 5 if they could pull this one out.  Alas, I don’t think they will.  Shifter Pawl is the best player in the match, so I give the edge to the so far underperforming N.E.D.s

#1 Walkaways (2-0) -13 vs Three Livers (0-2): Blame the schedule maker for this one.  I suggest both teams do a lot of shots.

Late Games

Incredibowls (1-1) -1 vs Pinups (1-0): The Pinups have been making an hilarious case for their inclusion in the top 20.  I tell you what, win this one and you’re in.  The Incredibowls rebounded nicely from a week one slaughter with a big win of their own.  I think it’ll stay close, but the Pinups go down, and Bayside runs out of OJ.

#2 Back In Black (2-0) -3 vs #9 Strikes of Hazzard (2-0): It doesn’t get any easier for the Strikes, but at this point they believe they belong with the big boys and relish the opportunity to prove it.  If they could follow up a win over Off Constantly with a win over BIB, then they would have the best early season resume in BoPo.  Back In Black was indeed Back in week 2, with Stevie Strikes finding his groove and Bama almost cracking a smile once.  They need to play like that again to get past the Hazzard upstarts.  Hazzard gets a huge advantage from this game being played late.

#3 B.E.E.R. (2-0) -4 vs #13 I.B.S. (1-1): Oolie and Cheddar are the only players so far this season with multiple 200+ games.  Of course Cheddar is three for three.  B.E.E.R. should be breaking out the new unis tonight, which may show a little midriff on Filthy and Hungus.  Hott.  I.B.S. plunger routine is one of the great pre-game celebrations in BoPo.

#14 Saucy Posse (1-1) -3 vs Young & Bowled (0-2): SauPo, be careful.  This team always plays best when nothing is expected of them.  They should win this game against a still-rusty Truth and frankenfingered Pistol Pete, so they will likely take it to the wire.  Walter is ready for a breakthrough week.  He can’t let his little brother steal all the glory.

#6 Off Constantly (1-1) -3 vs #8 Still L.O.S. (1-1): Both teams are coming off ugly losses.  The upside for OC is they were missing two-thirds of their roster.  LOS hopes last week was just a reflection of their BEEr allergy and not an indicator of bigger problems.  Mr. Stiffy is overdue, and he could put a hurting on OC this week.  Oz should be back for the defending champs, who probably have never lost two straight.  One team is going to leave this game really questioning themselves, but LOS probably needs it more with a game against Back in Black next week.

#4 Binga’s (1-1) -4 vs #20 Cunning Linguists (1-1): Grab some coffee Tso, you’ve got a late game.  Binga’s is looking strong yet again but do not have a cupcake here in week 3.  The Linguists have a ton of talent but haven’t been able to put it together yet.  Pauly Ringwald and La Gatita need to rediscover their games to keep this team competitive with the BoPo titans.  Jamaican Jerk fell back a little bit last week but he’ll be fine.

Urea! 9 Sweet Rolls 6

Roll Another 14  Madbotts 1

Tequila Mockingbirds 15 Goldilox 0

Yay! 12 Snakes on a Lane 3

Happy Hands 9.5 ICBING 5.5

Guacabowle 13 Lovernauts 2

TDYOB 8 BUI 7

Wrecking Balls 10 Lesbowlians 5

Here we go.  With OC falling on Tuesday, there’s a chance for a Thursday team to sneak into the big boys club on the power rankings.

EARLY GAMES

Wrecking Balls (1-0) -3 vs Lesbowlians (0-1): The Balls caught a week 1 break with Pud’s missing the show, and so picked up a big 15-0 win without their top bowlers.  The Lesbowlians had opposite luck, rolling against a UREA! team that caught fire and losing 0-15.  Well, this game is at least guaranteed to be closer for both squads.

#13 TDYOB (1-0) -3 vs B.U.I. (1-0): This could be a very interesting game.  TDYOB is expected to cruise on Thursdays, and so when they struggle against a new team they tighten up a bit.  B.U.I. is playing with a ‘happy to be here’ attitude, has Cheddar coaching them when he’s free (which is often), and actually has some solid bowlers with plenty of league experience.  I’m probably reducing my power rankings to 15 teams next week: the winner of this will be in, the loser won’t.

Guacabowle (0-1) -1 vs Lovernauts (0-1): The Lovernauts continue their role as awesome league ambassador, playing a new team for the second week in a row.  This time they’ll have dance music since they play early, and that should help them a lot.  Guacabowle will have no idea what’s happening in BoPo with the contrast between their first two opponents.  They were game in week 1, and even though they may be the youngest team, they kick it 80’s style with Carl weathers and popped collars.

ICBING (0-1) -1 vs Happy Hands (1-0): The Hands got a big opening night win without their Captain, while ICBING got shellacked by an expansion team.  This line is about desperation, as ICBING needs it.  Actually, they don’t really care about any of their games other than Snakes On A Lane and TDYOB, but it would be a shame to see them fall into the April Fools Shootout just struggling for a bid to the tourney.  The Hands could be sitting pretty at 2-0 with a win.

LATE GAMES

Roll Another (0-1) -7 vs Madbotts (0-1): The Madbotts like to dance, and may have to polish up their hoedown moves with The Jerks of Grass playing for BoPo late games.  Maybe trade the fishnets for chaps for one week?  The mellower Roll Another likes the blugrass vibe, and should ride the Wabash Cannonball to a victory.

#12 Guns of Brighton (1-0) -7 vs Pud’s (0-1): The league spent hours on the curb waiting for Pud’s Taxi.  Well, must have been an issue with the dispatcher, but the Taxi insists it is showing up for Week 2.  The league doesn’t take kindly to no-shows, but Pud’s has three seasons under their belt so they get a mulligan.  G.O.B. looks like a strong contender for the Thursday crown behind Mr. Pickles and Invisible Hand.  This week they add fromer BEER star Coco Lopez…look out!

#9 YAY! (1-0) -3 vs #15 Snake On A Lane: Best game of the night (on paper).  Yay! should be nice and toasted by game three, and this week their match should still be close at this point.  Snakes is much more reserved, so might Ralphie’s cheers shatter their inner calm?  Dr Honniker is mastering the 10 second delay strike.  Never count him out.

#7 UREA! (1-0) -1 vs #16 Sweet Rolls (1-0): Second best game of the night (on paper).  UREA! is in uncharted waters for the franchise.  They are often lingering near the bottom of the pile, but find themselves sitting at #7 with a chance for a big win in week 2.  Knuckles and J-Bird are the wind beneath T-$’s enormous wings.  The Sweet Rolls are old=school, straight house ballers.  That could work out for them this season.  I’m going with T-$ in a nailbiter.

Tequila Mockingbird (0-1) -5 vs Goldilocks (0-1): They changed names again, and have TQMB stapled to thei bad-ass Whale shirts.  Now they’ve had a week to settle in, and should be looking at a W.  Harlyn P needed a week to understand the new pattern, and Riggs needed a week to get the pulse of his squad.  Goldilocks is happy about the tunes, happy about the league, happy about their opponent.  They are an iron-clad lock to have a good time.

#17 Strikes of Hazzard 8     #3 Off Constantly 7

#1 Walkaways 15      #11 Nutz 0

#2 Back in Black 13    #10 I.B.S.  2

#5 BEER  12  #4 Still LOS  3

#19 Turkey Club 9  Bowlderdash 6

#8 Cunning Linguists 13.5   #20 D-GUTS  1.5

#14 Pinny Candy 14  No-Eye-Deer 1

#6 Binga’s 14 Young & Bowled 1

Incredibowls 10  Splits Happen 5

#18 Saucy Posse 11  Three Livers 4

Tuesday Men: Cheddar, B.E.E.R: Noone even close to his week one scores

Tuesday Women: Valley Gurl Jess, Walkaways: She won’t be happy with her 160 avg, but it led all league women

Thursday Men: Honey Badger, Snakes On A Lane: What better way to make your league debut than a 200 and the top Thursday average?

Thursday Women: J-Bird, UREA!: The captain led her squad to a big win with here 151 avg, and UREA! is on the scene

Early Games

#4 Still L.O.S. (1-0) (-1) vs #5 B.E.E.R. (1-0): A classic matchup.  B.E.E.R. was the underdog that rallied past L.O.S. in the semis in 2010 and split the team in half.  The remaining crew (thus the Still) would love nothing more than a win over a team they still deep-down think they may be better than.  Double Cheese has injected the team with even more confidence coming off back to back Bayside wins (draft league, holiday tourney).  He will battle his draft league Captain Cheddar, who was far and away the top bowler of week 1.  Filthy McNasty came out of the gates strong to sit in 3rd after week one, and looks vindicated for his strategy of sitting out draft league to stay hungry.  B.E.E.R. is the underdog given Hungus’ 150ish average, which will not be enough against Shithawk, Precious and Mr. Stiffy.  Slow Roll could be the key to a B.E.E.R. surprise, though.  Mmmm, beer surprise!

#1 Walkaways (1-0) (-7) vs #11 Nutz (0-1): Ok, Walkaways, you had me there for a second.  Just a bunch of folks happy to be bowling, nothing to worry about, don’t mind us, that whole Heat things was so last year.  What’s that?  The Dentist?  Oh, he’s nobody, just ignore that.  No can do.  Get your target shirts back out because now everyone’s gunning for you again.  Finals or bust!  Speaking of bust, Busta’s squad has a brutal opening stretch with L.O.S. and Walkaways, but better to get pushed early I guess.  They’ll likely be the best 0-2 team soon.

#18 Saucy Posse (0-1) (-5) vs Three Livers (0-1): SauPo got off to a disappointing start in a one point loss to the poop merchants of IBS.  The team continues to struggle with success and were probably doomed to a tough start as soon as they received a top-ten ranking to start the season.  They get a great opportunity to rebound this week, and an even greater opportunity to drink themselves into oblivion with one of the league’s top drinking opponents.  This is the fifth-year these teams have battled, and while I can’t tell you the record in those games I can pretty much guarantee you the matches have set records for Jameson’s bought, backs slapped and happy yells unleashed.

#19 Turkey Club (0-1) (-5) vs Bowlderdash (0-1): The TC rooks overcame all the hazing to push defending champs OC to the brink in their BoPo debut, letting an early lead slip away and losing by a handful of pins and a single point.  They can’t be too disappointed.  Now they get a taste of the BoPo spirit against a former Captain of the Year in Michael Bowlton.  The Bowlderdashers got off to a slow start but have been in practicing and clearly are looking improve.  This is a tough out for them but they would love to keep the new guys out of the winners’ circle.

#3 Off Constantly (1-0) (-3) vs #17 Strikes of Hazzard (1-0): OC can exhale after escaping with a razor thin win over TC in their opener.  Of course if they relax too much they will get marooned in Hazzard County.  OC will still be without McQueen, and they will likely be missing Oz.  This is a golden opportunity for the nattily attired Strikes to get a signature win.  Uncle Jesse will be plottin’ and schemin’ all week for this episode, and with a tough schedule need every win they can get.  Crazy Cooter can almost taste the moonshine.

#2 Back in Black (1-0) (-7) vs #10 I.B.S. (1-0): Both teams are coming off wins but are feeling very different about themselves.  I.B.S. had sweet new shirts, well coordinated cheers and plunger dances, and felt vindicated when they squeezed one out.  Back in Black fell down 5-0, shook their heads and stared each time a pin didn’t fall, and bowled far below their expectations, but still managed to eke out the victory.  I.B.S. will definitely come in to the game looser.  Back in Black is probably too good to struggle two weeks in a row.  Oolie may motivate his teammates by portraying this as a battle for the soul of BoPo.  Gutterboy need to come up with some way to keep his guys relaxed.  When in doubt, shots.

8:15 games

Splits Happen (0-1) (-1) vs Incredibowls (0-1): Splits’ Leroy started his BoPo season with six straight strikes.  That was the end of the highlights for the team, who look to rebound in week 2.  This team has added Wedgehead, but he was quiet in the opener.  He and Xander need to come up big against an Incredibowl squad that is eager for redemption after a beatdown by Boston’s archrival.  This is a team that always surprises me once I’ve given up on them, so I have no confidence whatsoever in this pick.

#6 Binga’s (0-1) (-7) vs Young & Bowled: Rough timing here for Y&B.  Pistol Pete is stuck with his left hand and The Truth is clearly a little out of practice.  Meanwhile they face a team that despite losing had the third best average in week one.  They will need more bowling like Rae Chill’s career-first turkey to make this one close.  Binga’s psyche is a bit rattled after a 12-3 loss to the Walkaways, but they have nothing to be worried about.  They looked strong, bowled fast and were unexpectedly judicious in their between game breaks.

#14 Pinny Candy (1-0) (-1) vs N.E.D. (1-0): Both of these teams won their openers yet fell a bit in the polls.  Pinny Candy’s ranking may be based too much on the hype coming out of their own locker room about a couple of appointees new to the team this year.  (Though Skittles’ improvement and dedication is clearly documented).  N.E.D. doesn’t say much of anything and probably don’t ever check the lines or rankings.  Well, this is a great test to see what kind of teams these really are.  Both have Sweet 16 dreams, but the loser of this one may be a bit farther from those dreams than they thought.

#8 Cunning Linguists (0-1) (-3) vs #20 D-GUTS (1-0): D-GUTS Captain Collection has a win under his belt, a bottle of Black Label waiting for him, and high hopes for the rest of the 2012 season.  This is an opportunity to get some extra attention with a win over a top ten opponent.  The Linguists pulled out all the stops in week one with fishnets and jorts, and for a while it looked like it might work.  Unfortunately they couldn’t close the deal, and let Back in Black off the hook.  They have to avoid a letdown in week two or they could be quickly in an 0-2 hole.

Welcome back, Thursdayers.  Just a heads up that we have the Jerks of Grass at Bayside every Thursday so stick around and enjoy some bluegrass while watching more bowling.  And might I suggest the new BoPo breakfast burrito?  It’s damn tasty.

#10 TDYOB (-7) vs Guacabowle: Dear Guac, thanks for stepping up at the last second to form a BoPo team.  I regret to inform you your first game is against one of the most notorious of all our teams, and their infamous ringleader Dr. Thunder.  Forgive him his “BOOM!”, breakdancing, pole humping and other extravagances.  He is just out to have a good time and drink a few beers.  If he is too much for your tastes (and I almost guarantee he will be) you can always talk to their more mellow influence, rookie Space Farmer.  Anyway, it’s just one game.  Good luck, and see you on the other side.

#14 Guns of Brighton (-1) vs ICBING: ICBING is now a veteran squad, facing off against some new guys.  But these are no ordinary new guys.  Invisible Hand is their Captain, and he has some BoPo experience back in the day with the MeYacthces, and oh by the way, he oils the lanes.  Start your conspiracy theories!  GOB will also be getting Coco Lopez from BEER starting next week, so look out for them.  ICBING seems to be holding steady season to season.  They need to show some movement.

Happy Hands (-1) vs Goldilocks and the 5 Spares: These are two teams looking to turn things around after a few years of struggles.  One of them will get off to a 1-0 start which will do wonders for their confidence.  The Hands are missing their captain, but have traditionally been the stronger of these two teams.  Goldilocks always has the best player names, from Pinfall Wizard to Great Gay Bear.  Who will be their newest name of the year candidate?

Wrecking Balls (-1) vs Pud’s Taxi: To be honest i have no idea if anyone is showing up for Pud’s tonight. I received a phone message several weeks ago from Dink Mastercard indicating they were back, but that’s the only contact.  Part time player Cupid has been in many times and has alternately told me he is playing for Pud’s, captaining Pud’s, quitting, making a new team. and that he is not actually Cupid.  The Wrecking Balls wouldn’t mind no opponent tonight as The Dude is missing his top two bowlers.  When will he cave and sign Dude Jr, that guy has potential.

B.U.I. (-3) vs Luvernauts: While one new team (Guac) has to deal with the antics of TDYOB, B.U.I. should get a much friendlier welcome to the league playing our dancingest, lovingest, freindliest squad, the Lovernauts.  B.U.I. is coming from the Casco Bay league, and have a team that should be very competitive for Thursdays.  Lucky Bastard, Duchess and Snapshot are already well known commodities, and they are happy to be in the club.  The Luvernauts have that guy with the crazy hook that could go anywhere, and other than that they are primarily dancers.  Rufio is their ace and she has been steadily improving.  I think they lost their other all-star, Rinni.  They will give BUI a nice welcome.

5 O’s (-5) vs Madbottz: The Madbottz may take issue with all the praise of Luvernauts dancing, and howl ‘what about us?”  They have been bringing fashion, fun and fishnets to BoPo for years, and the league needs all three now more than ever as some teams get lost in the competitive side.  Hopefully Captain Madgirl shows up and has a gift of Crown Royal pants for me.  The 5 O’s won awards last year, Captain of the Year I believe, and bring back the same squad now with a little more experience.  They have some veterans of the old Oolie teams (Oolie’s teams have led top multiple spinoffs, either a comment on his ability to recruit new talent or on his ability to cause people to want to get off his team).  I think they get off to a quick start int heir second year.

#17 Yayyyy! (-1) vs Balls of Fury: Formerly Team Micaela, Yayyy! dropped Stevie Strikes, Gutterboy and Bama in the offseason.  While they may take a hit in stats, they will definitely get a boost in team morale with their new friends the Slampigs.  They will be one of the top Thursday teams, but they are battling another solid squad in Balls of Fury.  I’m just picking against Balls of Fury because they have some new guys who get kind of grumpy when they check-in and don’t know anything about the league they are in.  I suppose I should put that blame on their captain, Bacon.  C’mon, Bacon!  Spread the good word!  Hard Body is going to have to harness that hook for a late game.

UREA! (-1) vs Lesbowlians: The Lesbowlians have been fighting to improve for seasons, are now in a great position to have a big season having moved to Thursdays.  They need to start by shocking UREA!.  The artists are led by the big ace T-$, who could run away with the top bowler honors for Thursdays.  J-Bird is a veteran captain, Knuckles is coming off a draft league championship and spurned offers to sign with Guns of Brighton, and Tecumseh is nothing if not relentless.  I like them to start with a win, but a close one.

#18 Tequila Mockingbird (-1) vs Sweet Rolls: At the end of the day these guys will both be in the mix for Thursday’s top spot.  I’m going with Tequila here in an early matchup because they have been practicing a bit more.  Most of the league’s top straight bowlers are in this matchup and they could really push this year with the way everyone else is struggling.  Tequila (formerly White Whale, formerly DHD) may have Harlyn P back, and he is a difference maker, though his supernaturally slow ball may not work on the late lanes.

#15 Snakes On A Lane (-3) vs Roll Another: Another strong matchup.  Snakes are a no-nonsense bunch, and are eager to stake their claim as the top of the three frisbee based teams.  Roll Another never gets any respect, and noone ever knows who they are no matter how long they’ve been around, but they are sneaky.  Plus I think they’ll enjoy the bluegrass.  Uncle Buck leads the way after getting some very good practice in the draft league.  They are ready to win now, and love the new divisional alignment.

Welcome back to the show, BoPo!  Let’s kick season 5 off right.  Quick note to those of you asking for league rate and saying you are simply “in that Tuesday or Thursday league”, if you don’t know you better ask some one.  You’re in BowlPortland now.

Game of the Night

#3 Walkaways (-3) vs. #6 Bingas: Last year the Walkaways collapsed in the semis under the tremendous pressure built by their off-season moves. This year, their team looks stronger but is flying under the radar. Their newest addition Valley Girl Jess, formerly of Bingas, makes her debut in this matchup against her Bingas boy toy, General Tso. For Bingas, Jamaican Jerk is attempting to revive this once dominant franchise.  This is their second year together for the current line up including old stars Cookie and Chernobyl Lane. This is a classic matchup between old and new, of two teams with legitimate championship hopes.

The Rest

#2 Off Constantly (-7) vs. #11 Turkey Club: The defending champs weren’t too happy about entering the new season ranked number two. They look to take their frustrations out on Bo-Po newcomer Turkey Club.  Obsessed with domination and leaving nothing to chance, OC team ace Oz cancelled his carribran cruise to face the new upstarts. Turkey Club’s Port Sport league championships don’t mean much to BoPo veterans, but gives this team some confidence headed into their inaugural game.  Captain Roadhouse held his own at the Captains party and Tango was on the winning team for the holiday hat tournament.  If their smack talk is any indication, they are not intimidated by the real champs.

#9 Saucy Posse (-3) vs I.B.S.: The difficulty with a lot of these lines is not having seen these teams or players since last year, and in many cases not knowing even who is back.  That is not a problem with the Saucy Posse, an Original 8 team that has stayed together.  Walter is their unquestioned ace, but little bro’ Hot Sauce looks to make the leap and join him this year.  N Sauce is back from a year off and the team is coming off some playoff success.  I.B.S. is a mystery.  Last year they added Killer B late and made a run to the quarterfinals.  Is he back?  How’s Oolie, who has been MIA?  They could surprise me here if the whole crew is reunited.

#19 Strikes of Hazzard (-5) vs Three Livers: If the 80’s character Uncle Jesse had joined forces with the 80’s character Benson, studio execs would have stumbled upon the unlikeliest buddy comedy ever.  We”ll soon find out the results of their combining in the world of BoPo as the Strikes welcome their new free agent.  Speaking of buddies, this matchup is sure to be as cordial as a family picnic as these two teams seem to really love each other.  Lots of folks love the Original 8 Three Livers, but they are looking for a little success to go with all that love.  Bernie and Pearl’s new baby bowler may be the inspiration they need.

D-GUTS (-1) vs Incredibowls: This is a battle usually fought in the media league, but now it spills over to BoPo.  Channel 13s’ Boston and WJAB’s Captain Collection constantly look to one up each other, and Tuesday night Bayside Bowl is just the latest venue.  Boston won their last duel, but Capt. Collection may have his team more focused.  Can he adjust to the lanes in time?

#16 No-Eye-Deer (-3) vs Splits Happen: Breaking news.  The Gutterballs have disappeared overnight, leaving me in the lurch in terms of finding a new team in two days, but giving Splits Happen an extra gun in the displaced Wedgehead.  We’ll find out who else Xander has pulled together to this ever changing squad on Tuesday night.  No-Eye-Deer  just needs to get their wins when they can with this year’s more challenging schedule.  This may be one of those games for Shifter Pawl and crew.

#13 Pinny Candy (-5) vs Bowlderdash: Skittles of Pinny Candy may practice more consistently than anyone in the league.  It’s paid off with a couple of 200+ games and Bowler of the Week honors.  Now there are rumors that she has brought in a couple out of town political ringers to push her team to the next level.  I’m buying the hype, and picking them to win.  Bowlderdash is quietly back for another run, and are capable of the occasional surprise.  This would be a big notch in their lipstick case if they could bag this game.

#5 Still LOS (-3) vs. #8 Nutz: No bowler is hotter right now than Double Cheese. He was playoff MVP in the draft league and arguably the top bowler on his holiday hat tourney championship team. His recent successes give hope to an LOS team that always had the talent but never the mojo.  They begin the season with their traditional grudge match vs. Busta’s Nutz team.  The Nutz proved last year that have ability to clash with league titans. Now they have to hope they don’t turn to stone in this Sparedown.

#1 The Steves/Back in Black (-5) vs. #7 Cunning Linguists: The Steves have been the champions of the off season but now put ball to wood for the first time. Their is no doubt they are loaded with talent, but there are definitely questions about what the new team’s chemistry will be. Their first test will come against a team that many consider to be a dark horse finals contender.  Col. Angus beat the bushes for new players and came up with roses.  He swiped la Gatita from the Walkaways, coaxed Polly Ringwald out of retirement, and wooed Windeisal  into joining the shambles of Shambles. Combined with holdover Gutter Slut, they form a potent lineup, but it won’t be enough to lick the Steves.

#20 My Balls (-3) vs. Pinups: Balls captain Bubbles may be birthing a baby bowler on opening with her beloved Barry bedside.  Should that happen the only Balls players confirmed are Big Red and Rambler.  That they are favored by three with such an uncertain lineup is a reflection on the Pinups recent struggles.  Big Ern is back to captain the Pinups for a fifth straight year, but the consistency of leadership has not led to results on the lanes.  Maybe this is the year Big Ern puts himself in the game and the Pinups change their fate.

#4 B.E.E.R. (-5) vs #12 Young and Bowled: Body English Endorsed by Rivalries lost their endorsement after season three but kept the B.E.E.R. moniker.  They may show off the Body English more this year, but in a nod to the past bring back Pin Whisperer as an occasional bowling guru.  They lost Coco Lopez to a scheduling injury, but Slow Roll is back and TR and Bishop have produced Q-Man for depth.  Y&B seemed to be peaking for a big playoff run last year, but were last seen collapsing under the weight of that pressure.  The Truth disappeared and hasn’t been seen since, but word on the street is he will be back.  Pistol Pete is working with a gruesome Franken-finger.  Lou Dawg has taken over Bayside Tuesday night managing duties, so he won’t be around for motivation.  Senator ITZ and RR have their own baby bowler to battle against Q-Man, but it’s unlikely to come down to that match up.

Just an quick league factoid.  I think that there are now only 8 original teams playing under their original name (though Binga’s likely changes this year).  Congrats to each of these teams on your 5 year anniversary!

The Pinups, Roll Another, B.E.E.R., Off Constantly, Binga’s, 3 Livers, Saucy Posse, Happy Hands Productions.