Oakie Goes Postseason

Oakie is back by popular demand to provide from Tuesday BoPo playoff lines! Cupid will handle Thursday. Let’s get right into these bad boys. 32 teams left; let’s pour one out for those BoPo Teams that have already had their seasons ended. We hope to see you cheering, heckling and passing the buck over the next few weeks then shake, shake, shake your f-ing booty at the Bowling Ball. Honestly don’t miss out on the fun just because your team is eliminated. Shit that loser Thunder didn’t even make the playoffs last year and he came and enjoyed the run last year nonetheless.
Tuesday Early:
Yahtzee -10 versus Bowl Trolls: Expansion team Bowl Trolls had an unbelievable Sunday Shootout match with former Team of the Year ICBING. It came down to a bowl-off and lady roller Savvy was able to take out Peanut Gutter. Then they team celebrated their last win of the season. Hard. As much as I would love to see the biggest upset in BoPo history the real trolls of this match Yahtzee have this one in the bag. Lead Troll Sparkles has to sit out tonight because he somehow pulled a Holden Green and injured himself walking home Sunday night all drunk piss cocked after the Beerframe Podcast. No probably the still have lead ace in the troll Tango, who once again displayed his love of Thunder on same said podcast, but then Thunder one upped him on the Rooftop Session’s podcast saying he was going to propose to La La if Tango did not; something to watch there as La La is from Thunder’s current neck of the woods. La La, Rotini, Deputy, Tango, Cheddar, even without Sparkles they make up one of the most formidable lineups in the league. It has also been noted that they are the only squad in the league where everyone has notched a league 200. They are also Oakie’s pick to repeat, but my God I would love for it not to happen so I could shove it in their drunken faces. Also Deputy great job on the Beerframe podcast, next time try talking there is no video. Here is a clip of Sparkles and Tango after the Beerframe podcast this past Sunday:

Wow they both got knocked the fuck out!
Turkey Club -10 versus UREA!: I have another mismatch over in two. UREA! had an excellent season. They rebounded nicely from the late loss of Automatic. T$ can throw up big scores at any time. J Bird is a perennial Captain of the Year contender, and C Murda was an excellent addition to the team and the league. Unfortunately the fun ends tonight. XXX Club is a title contender and I don’t expect them to fool around in this one. Buck Ripcord was top dawg notching a 219 and he goes over 200 71% of the time and you know he isn’t happy with any of that. Roadhouse is incredibly hot right now. Yeah Sparkles stated ad nauseam that E Minor sucks but he will step up on the playoffs, as will energy guy and gals Herk, Bora and Koops. These cats also hate mailmen:

Budweisers -4 versus Lesbowlians: Huge stakes in this matchup, not only is there an invitation to the Sweet 16 on the line this is also the B semi-finals. Winner of this match plays B finals against winner of DHD/My Balls (Thunder and Hungus have a keg of Daymark on that match) at the Bowling Ball April 22nd. Buds have been smashing pins this year. Ric Spair crushed a ton of 200s one night, Sir Marks a Lot and Pickup Truck are all in the 150s. Lesbowlians only had one roller on the year Tilt in the 150s, but she is top dawg of this match. The ladies of Lesbowlians won’t be intimidated in this match and I see it going 3, but the Bud depth takes it in the end. Here is Sir Marks a Lot after the game:

Sons of Danarchy -8 versus 5 Finger Discount: I got this one over in two as well. Great inaugural season for 5 Finger but what do you fucking know Natro is injured once again. Jesus 30 something in an 80 year olds body. Crew from Danarchy have been rolling hot as hell, they are battle tested, they probably won’t roll Booth much and they got two of the lady aces in the league with McStriker and Valley Girl. Yeah this will be another blood bath, but 5 Finger will go out partying that is for sure. Here is Natro after the match:

Tuesday Late:
BEER -10 versus Tats and Tits: Party match of the night. Two team of the year contenders match out for a dance throw down in first round of playoffs. Wigged out BEER has been dropping big scores. T&T doesn’t have the firepower to keep this one close but Rubbys, Ralphie and crew can out party anyone and tonight that will be their task. BEER is sneakingly looking at a deep run they have a nice draw to the quarters if they take care of business and Tom E Gunz is rocking pins right now and has a 214 avg to boot.

Sharks -3 versus BUI: I have this one going 3 games tonight despite Dick Du Jerkoff guaranteeing match is over in two and he averages 200 tonight. Oakie thanks you for the BEER. Sharks and Strikes is loaded, despite just finding out that Sparkles and Deputy are no longer on the team, Paulie, Roo, Dick, Railroad, KarBomb Speedy Weiner and the injured White Russian (#bowlinginjuriesareforlosers) can throw down with anyone. BUI is a proud franchise that made the Quarters just one year ago. G-Unit, and Duke have ace potential and have rolled big games. Snapshot and Happy Feet Pete can be clutch when called upon, for me the difference comes down to the ladies Hexy and Animal cannot match up with Sharks ladies, but if they do watch out. This is the only match that has upset potential but I think, and I hope I am wrong, Sharks comes through in game 3. Here is Dick Du Jerkoff getting ready for the match:

Saucy Posse -10 over Bowled and the Beautiful: B&B is just happy to be here and Saucy Posse has visions of the finals and a banner. Therefore, I expect this to be an absolute bloodbath. B&B had a tough season so it was a nice accomplishment for them to get through Sunday Shootout and get to this match, but they don’t want your fucking participation trophy. What they are going to get is a mouthful of Splinter and Nut Sauce. Bring your dollars tonight because a lot of potential to get rich via pass the buck tonight. Here is Master Splinter celebrating the win:

Cape Fear -8 versus No Eye Deer: NED had a huge win in the shootout over the Lion’s Den. Burt the Bandit rocked something like a 251 and put the Ca Ca to bed for the year. Their gift for winning is the bearded boys from Cape who are crushing beers and pins right now. I know NED gonna get a loose prior to the game and will come in believing, but the crew from Cape Fear is going to make them learn real quick that you do not have a chance. Now enjoy your last match of the season while we crush you. Try to guess which ones are on Cape Fear and which are on NED: