Early is like getting to a party that is dead as fuck and then never gets better.Skol (2-3) -8 vs Das Strike Machine (2-3): My protégé Cupid has been killing Das Strike Machine calling them Das Missed Spare Machine, but don’t look now this band of hooligans has their team average into the 630s and are standing at 2-3. That said prepare to be Skol fucked in this one DSM. Das is strong at the top with the diminutive Badger sporting a 210 average (anyone sign this cat to a BoPo team? Word on the street if you love to party and have a 200 plus average TDYOB is in the market for an ace. Chat up Statler and Waldorf if so inclined https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLYAK1_r0Zg), but Badger ain’t getting much help from the rest of DSM. Their next highest average is Dick Whitman at 169 and that dude bowls blind. Dick owns Howie’s with Mitch Cumstein and that has been nice post game spot after Draft for folks interested in the 4th Q of Thursday Night Football. Back to the match. Skol sports a 670 average and has HBK only three pins behind Badger and then 4 other bowlers between him and Dick W, out in the streets they call it murder. Here is HBK (behind the bar) with Roo, Viking, Nurple and Viqueen right after the match:
Drunken Noodle (4-1) -3 versus Fuckdafino (2-3): Battle of the exes in this one. Fart Nug pulled off the heist of the draft when Peanut Gutter pulled a fast one and said he would be splitting time with Ten Pin Haz Bin, which turned out to be a total lie. Obviously, no one wanted Peanut Gutter so they fell to round 2, not only has Peanut Gutter not made any matches he never intended to play and has also quit BoPo passing ICBING on to Two Dogs and Fabio. Looks like we will have to find someone else to bitch about the music now that Peanut G and Clarified have retired. I’d favor Noodle by more if I didn’t think Cheese was gonna rise up to take out former teammate Fart Nug after her defection to the Oddballs. I hear Haz Been has odd balls as in three of them. Oakie was in a frat with a dude named Frank Fazio dude had three nuts he would squeeze the two together and a third one would plop out below the two, holy shit one of the craziest fucking things Oakie has ever seen and Oakie been privy to a ton of crazy shit. Fart Nug and White Nug have this squad heading in the right direction. 10 Pin, while only slightly less of a risk than Skinny Skeletor to drop dead on the lanes at any moment, is having a big comeback with a 207.5 avg, Railroad is one of the finer #2s in the league and everyone else is solid. Cheese will go for top every single point and is absolutely crushing at 212. La La has been a lady ace at 188 but unfortunately Caboose is living up to her name and bringing up the rear with the lowest average in the league at 89.5. Taygod loves this caboose. Here is that strong #2 Railroad asking Cheese who he works for after the match, while Deputy gives advice from next door:
Hello Friend! (3-2) -5 versus Liquid Talent (3-2): Game of the early matches right here. Time to start taking Chedd’s team seriously. Cheddar’s back has held up thus far and he sports a nice 201 avg being ably backed up by Spare-O a chill dope member of the BoPo family who Oakie loves. Snapshot has been a strong 3 if SeaTown can get her shit together (does the Pope shit in the woods?) this team could be a title contender. Squatch squad got off to a strong start, but have lost 2 in a row. Couch is killing it at 216 2nd best in the league living up to his Ringer status Squatch has lost about 10 pins in average in a week if that trend continues these cats are in trouble, wow the more I look at the stats had this -1 moving it to -5 and now I think Hello! cruises. Cheddar take this dude’s advice:
If it is true that the bums will always lose, then LT are the bums in this match.
Rufio and the Sauced Boyz -5 (5-0) versus Border Crossers (4-1) GAME OF THE NIGHT: Blunder’s team tied the record of 3 points against Rufio! last week and was the first team to make it to game 3 still alive. Then Rufio’s squad went 756 with Rev and Polly on bench. Twizzler rocked a 232, Tso who is a house on fire right now rocked an easy 212, Rufio 186 they take all 5 goodnight. These guys are feeling it and believing in each other and ready to rock. Tonight they get their first real challenge. Glossy team was picked by many to win it all coming out of the draft until people saw Rufio’s team crush at a 750 clip. Glossy who seems to have a ton of time on his hands lately has been crushing pins. He hit some shitty speed metal show by himself last Wednesday night, not that there is anything wrong with that. Oakie hit Slick Rick alone one night at the Big Easy on mushrooms solo, shit got weird.
So Glossy got his back up against the wall watching the opening act just outside the mosh pit and some jacked dude blindsided poor Glossy who was standing limp right into wall and Glossy heard a crack in his chest. Glossy fearing broken ribs shoots 650 the next night leading his team to victory. #Glossyisawarrior. The band he got injured in he didn’t like, then had to stand there injured in pain watching band he liked. How great is that? Had Rufio -3 but I just think Rufio so deep they win 10-5, prove me wrong. Here is Glossy getting killed outside the mosh pit:
Allow Oakie a PSA as a guy that once murdered a dude in a mosh pit at the homecoming bonfire leveled this wrestling dude at our school all fours in the air crushed to the earth as if dead. Sure, it gave Oakie a rush unlike any other, but Jesus look at those idiots, start a fight club, join a martial arts gym, UFC, something other than running around dislocating your shoulder hopped up on meth at a concert where literally the shittiest music in the world is being played.
Here’s how Munson and Thunder picked up Farmer for TDYOB:
Brandy Savages (4-1) -3 versus The Management (1-4): The Management is 1-0 during late games. They have gotten their average up to 630, Hungus is rolling as hot as anyone in the building and they are planning a team building pregame party off site to work on their chi, but with T$ and Gutterslut rolling hot and The Corsican brothers still lost, Fuge on the wagon and Taygod still rocking 90s it just seems like too much to overcome although I see a breakout night for TGod this evening. The Management got the good vibes going as they go Prestige Worldwide 2.0 but they will be watching the playoffs from the outside in if things don’t get going tonight. Here are the Corsican Brothers driving to the lanes after pregame:
Shit that game is late, need to find the meaningless match I am missing.
Oh here it is:
Bumblebee Tuna (3-2) -1 versus Shot Clock Violation (1-4): Tango is back rolling right handed with a 12 pond ball and has taken time off from flogging the dolphin:
Nut Sauce will be the difference in this match as I expect BT to squeak one out as Sasmaquach and crew make missing playoffs official tonight. Here is Insanal after their 5th loss:
Got Wood? -1 (2-3) versus Tea with Mrs. McGuil (1-4): Well this has been an easy pattern for everyone save the object of That’s My Son! shirts the one and the only Roadhouse. Maybe losing all those BoPo finals is finally getting to the guy. That or too much time paging Dr. Green Thumb. House squad will be game, but Doc Moose carrying a big stick these days and Duke T starting to find his groove. Not to mention Ruby just went Facebook official with a relationship status, all of that adds up to 1-5 for Mrs. McGuil. Here is Roadhouse talking to Tango and other members formerly of XXX Club after the match:
In light of the tragic events last night let’s spread that BoPo love far and wide tonight and shake all the evil out of this world, be nice to each other and tip well. Peace and love:
Thoughts and prayers to all those that were affected by the Las Vegas tragedy far and wide.