Invisible Hand’s Take On the Early Matches

Tatoos and Titties(-1) vs. BUI  BUI is coming off last weeks loss with a bitter taste in their mouths after letting the match against the royals of mediocrity, GOB, slip through their fingers. With that in the backs of their minds, they will come against Tats and Tits gritting their teeth and cracking their knuckles hoping to wipe the smiles off the faces of one of the happiest teams in the league. Though their records sing a different tune, it will be the spirited demeanor of the T&T crew that keeps them ever so slightly on top for their miracle win of the season.

DHD(-5) vs. Touch My Excitment  DHD is a steamroller barreling down a highway to victory, crushing hopes and dreams beneath them. Someone move these guys to Tuesday already so we can have some fun on Thursdays like we are supposed to. While on paper the Touches don’t seem too touched, Squatch just won’t hear the steamroller coming with those headphones plugged into his ears. Some people just need their Rachmaninoff. The match goes without question to game three, but G Force and the Moose man mop up in the end.

Leisure Rolls(-10) vs. Spare of the Dog  While often the Leisure Rolls look like the love child of a traffic cone and a fire hydrant, next to the Dogs it might be recommended to wear a shade eight welding lens over your eyes because this match will be blinding. Battery powered jackets or not, it will take strong determination for the Dogs to wrest victory from the clutches of a browned-out dutch and the three hundred mile an hour straight ball of Magic. There will be plenty of tissues on hand, courtesy of the Captain, so no worries there. Speaking of Insanal, anyone take a big whiff of the bathrooms lately? Truly a pleasurable fragrance. Dogs stink it up in two. Casual Hundo goes 150.

Average Bros vs. Guacabowlie  Match of the night. Bowl off. Bells. Not even picking a line on this one. There will be blood, tears, maybe a black eye.

Pinups(-5) vs. Bad News Spares  You have to reach way down for a grab at this match, and although by some mathematical miracle the Spares are above the Pinups in the rankings, there is little question which direction this battle at the bottom will go. The Pinups have seen a lot in their time, as have the Spares, but after the dust settles, Pinups will be on top.

Lesbowlians(-1) vs. Roll Another   A nail biter. These teams are close in averages, and although the scores won’t be huge, the competition will be. Its a hodgepodge of so-so averages with Tilt-A-Whirl, Keglinger, and The Package leading the pack in the 150s. Below that, its a scrappy fight for 120s. Game goes to three with the power-pair on Lesbowlians making the difference and the win.

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