It’s the last Thursday of the season people! Time for the quarters and semis lines…
Beer -1 versus DHD: Well Oakie was 100% wrong about DHD. Doc Moose threw down a couple 200s with a 244 sprinkled in, G Force (Skinny Skeletor) crushed pins in the 190 range all night and Lil Pickle rose up with a 169 (that’s hot) and 182 and the end of Yathzee and a gigantic upset was on. We will once again not have a repeat BoPo Champion. Two former BEER teammates and now captains of their respective squads match up in this one in Fern and Hungus. Fern made a questionable call starting Kingpin (nepotism?) over Hark Attack game three and it almost cost them. In her defense Kingpin had gone 169 (that’s hot) to Hark’s 147, but Hark did have the season advantage by 5 pins. Coaching decisions will be key in this one as first team to 8 wins and both teams have extra large rosters. BEER is playing with house money. In Kingpin’s defense he did say he stepped in shit:
Magic needs a hug if you see the guy hit him up. Dude had a bucket of 4 needing 3 on his second shot for a Leisure Rolls win and he only got 2 leading to a bowl-off victory Tom E Gunz over Shooter McGill. BEER had a big game from Hungus 258 and a Filthy McNasty sighting at 226, but shit something about DHD has me thinking they may be the team of destiny after all. I favor BEER, but I have zero confidence in that pick and see this one coming down to the freaking wire. Oakie’s been given another hall pass by Mrs. Oakie to be in attendance and I cannot wait. Bring your dollar bills you could get rich!
Here is a shot of G Force and Doc Moose chilling after the match playing peace maker to a couple more jackasses butt hurt after a loss:
Ride that bull G Force:
Here is Hungus should BEER lose on the phone with Tom Richards:
Turkey Club -1 versus Oddballs: This is another match good ol celebrity bowler Oakie is struggling with. The Oddballs are loaded with Yankee Lane ringers and XXX Club has the top dog in the league surrounded by a battle tested group. Both these teams crushed their opponents. XXX taking down Bingas in 2, and Oddballs going 3 with LOS but winning game 2 and 3 by wide margins. Brooklyn and crew aren’t afraid of anyone. Ice Ice Mary and GB’s Mom stepped up Tuesday night and the Heart Break Kid is as hot as anyone. Tinderella and Twisted T have strong bowling pedigree, but there is something about the Club that says this may be their year. This game goes right down to the wire in game 3 with XXX Club just narrowly escaping.
Then the Heart Break Kid looses his shit and does this to Brooklyn:
At least he told him he loved him.
Also bad news Buck Ripcord announced on Facebook on Tuesday that he has an STD:
Now I have the pleasure of handicapping a freaking hypothetical match that I have zero faith in.
BEER -1 versus XXX Club: Holy shit BEER has risen from the ashes like a phoenix. They had a middling season, rolled everyone had a ripping good time and now have a shot at that elusive banner #2. Tom E Gunz will bring his A game to throw down with his gamer for life best bud Buck Ripcord. Remember when these two ass hats got so fucked up Buck had to take a 54 in a ten frame game, then they both were so wasted that Buck’s Mom had to pick them both up on Alder street. Buck was still wearing his bowling shoes, and his mother yelled, “Close the trunk you moron!” What a night, hey you only turn 28 once. Trust me I know, I’m old as fuck I stare at pictures of a young Oakie and the only thing that comes across my mind if what this guy says:
Gunz versus Rip. Bora Bora and Koops versus QB, Slow and Brandy, the roster decisions will be key in this match. As I type I cannot believe I am picking BEER but something tells me Hungus has been dealing with so much shit lately, dead last in Roth Holman doubles, lowest average in Roth Holman doubles, losing in 2 v 2 doubles, finals of Elias Cup, honestly the list goes on that something good has to happen in the little guy’s life. And that good is another trip to the BoPo finals and no one saw it coming not even Hungus.
Here is Tom E Gunz after the big win:
Here was Cheddar after Yathzee lost:
So yeah I’m not even sure if BEER beats DHD, and I have them in the finals. Hey shit happens just ask Fake Charlie.
Time to see what Cupid says about the other half of the bracket.
While the left side of the bracket lost their top teams, they are both still alive on the right side. Both matchups feature a powerhouse vs. a team that had poor regular seasons, and rematches of regular season games that weren’t that close.
Y&B II (-5) v. BUI – We spent the year trashing BUI in the lines, and their response has been to bowl two weeks longer than my team did this year. Awesome answer. Unfortunately, I think the total team prowess of Y&B II is too much for BUI, and their season ends after an impressive run to the quarters.
What I find most impressive about this playoff run by BUI is that they did it without Ruby Canary, who I guess didn’t have enough regular season games as I saw her watching and cheering on her family and friends on BUI from Perv Row on Tuesday. Take a look at the focus she had staring at the back of Pistol Pete’s head:
Great run, BUI, way to take out 2 Tuesday teams this year in the playoffs! But now that the run is over, Snapshot and G Unit go back to their day jobs in hip hop:
Y&B II took care of business in 2 games with a 10-0 win over Budweisers on Tuesday. Now they have a team they killed in the regular season, but no time to be overconfident like these fools:
But hey, there’s always time for this instead:
Saucy Posse (-3) v. Strikes of Hazzard – The other Quarters match features Saucy Posse and Strikes of Hazzard. This Strikes of Hazzard team features 2v2 finalist General Lee, reigning Kingshit LB Davenport, some dude in a skirt, and a few others as well. This team has a total mix, but I can’t see them keeping up with Saucy. But that’s what I’ve said a couple times already this playoffs. Overlook them at your own peril. I take Beef Strokinoff over the fourth roller on Hazzard all day, and that spells victory for Saucy.
Nut Sauce is a total game changer in BoPo. I mean, what can we say about her that hasn’t already been said?
I kid, I kid. And for the record I’m not a doctor. Nut Sauce crushes dudes all over the lanes, then talks shit about it. Take a peak:
So for my hypothetical semi:
Y&B II (-1) v. Saucy Posse – Why would anyone pick against Saucy Posse?
The truth is this evening in the playoffs is a long one. And Saucy Posse parties like champions (I’m looking at you, Hot Sauce) so by the sixth game of the night, I think the focused crew of Y&B II edges them out.
Found another pre-game speech by Senator ITZ for the squad…he had just pulled the team up to the mezzanine bar for a private talk:
Then he got down to business:
After the long night, here is my prediction for the Posse team dinner featuring Master Splinter:
Honestly Quarters and Semi nights is a blast. Get over the fact that your team lost, and come out and have some fun with us. In other words, don’t be like these guys (win or lose):
Only 2 more BoPo nights in the 2017 season!! Don’t let one of them slide by without being there to join the fun. See you Thursday Night!