Doubles Lines

Oakie Does a Double Team

What you thought you weren’t going to see me???? Win or lose, talk shit or you are shit. That’s my motto. Well tonight we have the semi final matches of the illustrious Bowl Portland Doubles competition for both the guys and the girls. I wonder if LB Davenport is mad that General Lee is cheating on him with Sparkles?

The best cheat ever!

BoPo is about to jump the shark once again. We got our doubles tonight then we are on bowling lockdown for a week as the PBA comes to town. So bowl your hearts out tonight because unless you are in the Pro Am or go to another house to roll you are done. Congrats to all those that advanced to the sweet 16, stay sharp kids. Here is Thunder after shitting the bed, once again, against Oddballs:

Here is Farmer and Thunder in their offseason:

For those scoring at home it is team total 1 point per game and then another point for total pins after 3 games. If there is a tie it is an alternate shot bowloff.
Ladies First:

All Day Lemay/Kelly Kabowlski -3 versus Koops/Brandy: Koops is hot right now coming off a 187 bailing out Buck and Roadhosue on Tuesday night:

Brandy is the queen of the wigs and has put up monster scores, but I can’t go against the woman that single-handedly destroyed Spare of the Dogs season and has a brick in yo face. I got All Day and Kelly putting up more points than Brandy Koops. Also Kelly is looking for some ladies for her kick ball team.

Time!
Sorry ladies pretty much every time Oakie bets against Brandy, Oakie losses. I do see a tight match, Brandy and Koops are still in BoPo playoff mode where All Day and Kelly are getting ready to go golfing. But I hate golf!

In the end Lemay and Kelly are two much for Koops and Brandy.
This is a brick in yo face:

Coco Lopez/McStriker -1 Shooter McGill/SeaTown: This was a tough one to call. McStriker was destroying pins on Tuesday night. SeaTown had some strong games against Bingas. I didn’t catch Coco or Shooter rolling last night, but both their teams advanced and they are both clutch talented rollers. Oakie actually favors whoever comes out of this side to win it all. This is going to be a great game to watch, get your popcorn ready!

Dudes:

Jamaican Jerk/Karl Hungus -1 versus Glossy Mexican/Railroad: Railroad started his offseason regiment of Junior Whoopers early on Tuesday when he got Dick Du Jour’d. The rest of these cats are still rolling. Here is Hungus Jerk warming up for the match:

4 great bowlers here, if you can believe it Hungus has the least experience out of the 4 as the other three have been losers their entire lives and bowled as kids because they most likely sucked at real sports. That said Hungus is the hardest working man in the game right now, owns a bowling alley and can practice whenever he wants, and he wants this title badly. I favor he and jerk to advance after Railroad puts one through the roof:

https://giphy.com/gifs/ball-ceiling-rsU3ZCEdhkEaA

General Lee/Sparkles -1 versus Master Splinter: No one handles losing worse than Master Splinter so I am glad I can’t make it in tonight. Splinter will get fall down after this one, smack asses and then go on a verbal diarrhea tirade on social media after the match. Splinter is an ace and is crushing pins right now, but so is General Lee and he helped carry Hazzard to a win last night. That leaves Sparkles versus Hot Sauce. Sparkles is coming off an injury after falling down heading home after doing that podcast that nobody listens to. Hot Sauce has been hot as hell, but I think the pressure gets to him this match and Lee and Sparkles advance. Here are Sauce and Splinter after the match:

https://giphy.com/gifs/falling-down-elyuj7Ljz62S4