oh, please…
you’re gonna need more synonyms for “turd” to reach that next level: doo-doo, excrement, b.m., stool, poo. poop, crap, Dr. Thunder’s skills, scheisse, diarrhea, scat, droppings, caca…
Here are my odds:
Bingas 2/1 favorites over OC - while Oz can put up big numbers, he’s been a bit out of form, and even when he is, can’t match JJ’s 3-game avgs (who can?). OC needs big performances from all contributors - Hunny Bunny, Tron, Knuffi and Dick. Can they count on them tonight?
LOS 5/2 favorites over B.E.E.R. - Four (count ‘em) rollers that can hit highs with some amount of consistency for the Spares. BEER with two. Filthy McNasty and Fern will need close to their personal bests to overcome.
Tasty odds for BEER… who wants to give me their money?
yeah. disgraceful even. if you know any involved, berate them. let them know that BowlPortland has no room for it.
Excuses such as: alcohol consumption, or one’s masculinity being challenged hold no water, either.
Poor form. Make these rare few accountable for their extreme douchebaggery! It hurts us all…
Really LouDawg??? PEACE+LOVE on the smack talk board? And you are handing out shit talking advice?? Thats like going to confession ending with “Thanks for listening Father, now excuese me Im off to get a beej from the corner hussy.” That doesnt even make sense, then again not much of your pointless fancifal jibber-jabber makes any sense. Just by quoting Mark Twain wont gain you street cred. Misguided mouth-offs are the reason smack talk exists oh wise one, dont forget it. BRING IT!!!!
Ahhh, that’s more like it, Hot Sauce — and fear not, it shall be brought; in fact, you best be checkin’ your saucy self, cuz I already dun brang it!!!!
Amen, Brother Cuppy!
What has this world come to, when misguided mouth-offs abuse our great forum for civilizend debate and jocund jest?? SmackTalk was created as a holy sanctuary for the asinie mystic and obsence oracle alike, but there can be no place for such malicious babble hate-mail.
As Mark Twain said, “Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
Here’s the point I’m really trying to get across here: “Come Cheer on Young and Bowled tomorrow night!! If other teams come make love to us with their cheers, we will keep our end of the bargain and pull off THE REAL greatest upset in the history of the league!!!
I am cheering fervently against the Young and Bowled over tonight should we get eliminated and you advance, I will be the one honking the air horn every time your team hits the wood to roll!
I respect that sentiment, good doctor; however, we would suggest that you use one of the league-approved noise-makers from our “Holiday Box” — which most certainly will be provided to you.
All right dude, sounds good, I don’t have no stinkin’ air horn any way…….I will be definitely hanging out taking in the quarters should UA bowl over us as predicted……….
Oh that’s right the bowling balls have been put away for the spring. That tissue you speak off? You should of used it to dry your eyes and blow your nose after your 14-1 beat down last Tuesday.
Leave the smack to the teams still playing dude………
when you pluck the obvious out of the apparent and turn it into a juvenile assault on my limited, albeit decent, bowling abilities, i can’t help but wonder why you’re not putting that extra chromosome to better use. and besides, smack talks all i got left. cut a brother some slack. bowl well…..
Hey Urban Achieveturds! Did I misspell that????? Maybe, probably not though, don’t expect the Borkers to lie down for you. Also DRMAturd, look me up kid you’ll find out real quick that the good Dr. is not an embarrassment to the male race…….
Take the win for granted punk, we will be showing up looking to pull the greatest upset in BoPo history, and thanks to your potty mouth I think everyone will be pulling for TDYOB.
Now do yourself a favor head to the bathroom and wash your mouth out with soap before I need to take you over my knee next Tuesday night and give your rear end a good spanking. I got a good feeling you might like it, you’ve got some serious repressed issues my friend…….hopefully your ball is willing to back up your talk next Tuesday night!!!!
wow. i could smack you both harder with a tissue. focus on the bowling guys and stop embarrassing us with the display. robots versus the showboats. i’ve been imagining your upcoming game as a sleep aid these past few days. works well. think i’ll take a nap. be good. and may the random team win.
Caught a glimpse of Young & the Bowled getting in a last-minute practice at the lanes yesterday. You’d think they’d have a little more confidence up against a lowly #25 seed. But instead, it looks like they are panicked.
I guess their “bush-league psych-out stuff” backfired. Laughable.
Nice try, suckas.
While I know the pre-requisites for participating in “SmackTalk” are (1) far too much free time and (2) a complete inability to back up one’s words, I feel compelled to retort to my dear friend’s voluminous ‘verbal diarrheae’: as it turns out, the rescheduling negotiations were far more than petty mind games — in fact, the LouDawg faced almost certain termination from his job to ensure the YBers could field a full roster for last night’s exhibition. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do we hope to see NPI in the playoffs next year? Hells yes, but not until the last week — see ya in the semis, dude…
Sheesh! I got quite a bit of grief for wearing the dirndl (traditional german dress) last night!! Those of you who bowled on the league last year should have gotten it, but for those of you who weren’t on the league last year… I am “Ichtanzegern” (german for “i like to dance;” also known as “Ichy” or “Ichy Poo”) and last year my team was “Die Gassenjungen” (german for “the Street Youth”) and we were known as “The German Team.” Each of the german team members wore this german dirndl at least once (in most cases twice), it became part of our team’s attire along with the yellow jerseys. Since last night was throwback night at Bowl Portland, I wore the dirndl. It wasn’t completely random, although that I often am as well. :]
Livin’ on a Spare will be wishin’ they had kept the Prayer after tonight! Go ahead and bring you’re balls to the rumble… we’ve got switchblades and chains!
TDYOB would like to apologize to the teams we have bested 15-0, we got bested 15-0 last night minus Munson and Sneaky Pete and it leaves a s-taste in your mouth, ouch even alcohol couldn’t wash it down…….
Watch out for LOS, minus their best bowler per average they were making a couple runs at 700, they could be a darkhorse!
At TDYOB we are just looking to drink a few beers, have a few laughs and have a good time, should we happen to win some games along the way, so be it……..
the sleeveless shirt has been retired, it has not made an appearance in like 3-4 weeks, maybe playoffs, but probably not, it’s all Lebowski shirts (with sleeves) all the time now my friend……
Herb'n Achiever Reply: March 17th, 2010 at 8:04 am
I can kinda appreciate your attempt at stirring up something here on the ST board, however feeble. But I see it for what it really is - a mediocre bowler who has seemingly sprung into greatness by a single big game. A common delusion, so the league doesn’t fault you for the bravado.
After last night, though, it might do you well to back away from the keyboard and focus on rolling. BowlPortland is a smack talk/bowling biathlon for those with mettle.
Maybe next year, P.R.M.A.D.N.N.A.
Yeah the homophobia definitely was no good, not many people gonna be cheering for UA, although it was an anonymous post maybe it was a ghost poster I am willing to give DRMA the benefit of the doubt here, could be a rival trying to get people against UA, Peanut Gutter from ICBING has been known to make such posts under the Dr. Thunder name for this same reason.
Constable On Patrol Reply: March 15th, 2010 at 11:50 am
well, if you continue to spout the ignorant “smack bitchs” nonsense, you may prove that you just don’t have the aptitude for smack talk. It is a refined and dignified art form.
don't need a dictionary Reply: March 23rd, 2010 at 9:50 am
sorry if you were offended. no harm meant on the smacktalk board. it’s all supposed to be tongue in cheek - sarcastic and exaggerated rhetoric.
it’s all for the love of BoPo, baby!
and that’s why you can lay off the ignorant-sounding assertions of your masculinity…
A quick five I’d like to bowl to:
Shinitz Snoop Dogg
Paid in Full Erik B and Rakim
Method Man Wu Tang Clan
Chinacat Sun Flower/I Know You Rider Grateful Dead
Blister in the Sun Violent Femmes
Knuffi I got a good feeling that you can’t dance at all. You’ll see the Dr. tearing up the floor every Tuesday with an occasional windmill after a strike, there is a lot of opportunity for windmills the way the Dr. is rolling lately, 159 avg last 5 league games…..
Also Craig Mack “Flava in ya ear” is always a crowd pleaser but you wouldn’t know that because you most likely dance like a Wooden Indian (Native American for the nore pc crowd) arms all tucked to your side looking like you are having a slow motion seizure (epileptic episode for the more pc crowd) ……….the Dr. knows music and he knows how to party and he knows how to own a dancefloor, been doing it my whole damn life……
here comes the brand new flava in ya ear
time for brand new flava in your ear
I’m kickin new flava in ya ear (and in this league)
You know you got a good thing going when you lose and you had the most fun you have had all year. I had a feeling playing Saucy Posse would be a blast……..check…………
I could take the Colts perspective and let the opponents do all the “talking”, however the colts are lame and such would be by keeping quiet. That being said, SauPo enjoys having an abundance of sauce to spread the love around. Although the Posse is a big deal, this does not deter any of its members from engaging in simple humanitarian activites such as assisting old ladies crossing the street, licking peoples stamps & envelopes that lack the necessary saliva, or tutoring on the fundamentals of underwater basket weaving. (the list of activites really is endless) On the contrary, if the alphabet gang from the feeble group has some “sauce” that you think our ambidextrous, whimsical, monozygotic, multi-lingual, well traveled, courageous, intelligent, & cant forget extremely good looking, Posse lacks, its probdobly not “sauce” at all but simply your vacant optimism. Do not forget, its all about the hitchhikers.
damn Hot Sauce you got me by 3 pins game one and 1 pin game two, 6 more lousy pins in those games from the Dr. and we take it 8-7, alas we won the break dancing competition…..folks if you aren’t watching Archer on FX start doing it, if you don’t like it or find it offensive a.) blame it on Roy Munson, b.) lighten up, c.) get over yourself, of you start DVRing the hell out of it, you are welcome……
Agree with that Natro, but enjoying the view from the top while it lasts. Oolie ufortunately we won’t be able to destroy your No Pins Knocked Down in a head to head match up this season, unless we catch you in the playoffs. You’ve proven it, one player does not a team make……..
Funny you should bring it up… My smack always works out.
Usually hit the freeweights with a mid-weight, mid-rep program on Tuesdays and Fridays. Mondays and Thursdays are all cardio - a couple thousand yards in the pool, sometimes the rowing machine. On the weekends it’s a la carte - racquetball, bike rides, kayaking, plyometric circuits…
Gotta keep my smack at its’ youthful best - trim, toned and ready to go at any moment.
Oolie the Dr. does not take kindly to your scurrilous accusations on my facebook page about said pubic infestation…..hard or soft shelled?????? Since I cannot take it out on you in the lanes as you are the vast superior bowler at this point in our careers, I will have to take it out on you by manning up on you in portland summer league this summer, ha-ha…….congratulations on your one win last summer, the Dr. tasted 22 and raised the chalice of champions in front of the whole league (cough cough for the third time cough cough)……
I’m wondering aloud how long it will take for you to make the painful transition from summer sport to winter sport.
It’s been almost 7 months now, so you should be just about through with languishing in the pool of past glories and more concerned with staying above the waves of the considerable challenge that you have voluntarily chosen in BowlPortland.
Alas, if you must insist upon clutching to something so irrelevant to rolling heavy spherical objects as throwing lightweight discs - no one can stop you.
Dr. Thunder Reply: February 23rd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
my average is on the rise my man, and once you show me how to make this new ball consistently hook, watch out! Also we are doing just fine in our inaugural season, and the Dr. is actually not too terribly upset with his 130.75 average, I expected it to be much lower, but now that I am addicted I expect it to be much higher and it is going up every night kid! There will be “dirt” at the lanes tonight…….
When I see the lack of verve on this board, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed in BowlPortland.
Is this all you can muster folks? Throw at something… anything!
Here’s some china white for your ass: You’re lucky that I’m not rolling this week because your flimsy two pin lead on my average would vanish. Actually, if you don’t pull another 200 FLUKE outta the air, it’ll probably be gone with nary a sweet, swift stroke from me. If for no other reason than your perfect hair, you can bet I’ll be heckling you tomorrow from a stool behind the tall tables - I heard all you Dirty folk melt under that kind of heat…
So, No Pins Intended has the night off tomorrow and we’re all showing up anyway - drunk.
The question I have is: who’s game should we watch and why? Is there anybody in desperate need some cheerers-on to push them over the brink for a win? Anybody so damn good that they just want witnesses to their greatness. Make a compelling case and we will be there to offer stellar support (or perhaps harassment) for your squad.
Lots of dancing and occasional shouts of BUBBLES (usually made by Lukass(?) in the same vein as HANK!) usually work wonders for my rolling. That said, I selfishly invite you, Mr. Oolie pro-bowler-dancer-drinker man to come rock out at the Huevos/Happy Hands game. So long as you occasionally shout BUBBLES for good luck.
so, a summary of the deleted comments:
Bulge (Pinups): Hey CB Onutz, you didn’t seem like you were having any fun. We like fun.
Barry(Huevos) Hey, I don’t play for the Nutz, but I like getting in these smack-battles, so, you guys should have won your game.
Bulge (Pinups) I though Barry played with the Nutz, so I thought he was escalating the argument, but I still contend the Nutz take the game too seriously.
Our team is fat and happy, we all have our own balls and shoes and we are better than you. Are captain although foreign (you’re not prejudice are you?) fat, old and balding and pretty much a human turd is well versed in hookers, as he opens the door slightly, apologizes for calling and throws some money out the door and then goes back to sleep in his basement, usually rolls in the high 90’s so watch out.
The Real Dr. Thunder Reply: January 20th, 2010 at 7:43 am
This douchebag above is not Dr. Thunder trust me a 118 and a 120 won’t have me talking much smack. Although it was a great time last night versus a really fun team in Three Livers.
i find that the lack of team pages for the name-changers and newbies hampers the ability for more direct smackin’. always a pleasure for it to be leaking out into the public forum, but ultimately more rewarding and less clutter-fucky. however we do not have this option. and, unfortunately, No Pins Intended happen to be part of the frequent riders club of our humble taxi service. quite a pickle. oh well. Ooolie, we do expect you to bring your best this evening. we’ve been up north with honey all week at his syrup farm. clearin’ his land of non-productive trees with our new disco balls. bowling balls. that is. our arms are three times larger than last week and this sugar rush don’t seem to be going anywhere soon…….
Don Relampago Reply: January 19th, 2010 at 10:27 am
Dr. Thunder, a typical name. Just like thunder, sure makes a lot of noise, but doesn’t really do any damage, apart from scaring little dogs… It is the lightning who lights up the sky, and the lanes…
The Real Dr. Thunder Reply: January 18th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Yo league I was just alerted that this smack talk board existed. Rest assured all these alleged posts under our bowling names aren’t us. We are just looking to drink a few beers and have a few laughs if we happen to win a few games along the way so be it, if we don’t that is fine too. You won’t see us posting smack on here. Good luck to all, looking forward to tomorrow night.
Mike Leding
Dr. Thunder
Have any of y’all heard the one about the bowling team that did just about everything to improve their game - with seemingly clever team name and nicknames (the league is so over it - we can’t believe it’s not time to teach your pony another trick), stalking other team’s top talent to try and leech any amount wisdom and skill, two-hour commutes for one-on-one lessons with a VERY patient (and well-paid) bowling phenom, went out and got their own madras shirts (makes ‘em look like a bunch of over-the-hill Buffett fans), AND all sorts of online chatter under various pseudonyms to anonymously hype an otherwise lackluster squad??? Well, the only punch line is the one that will be delivered by their opposition tonight at the lanes. TKO in three rounds.
Gutter Churned Reply: January 13th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Pump Spray, guttering the bread, churning the gutter, apple gutter, cocoa gutter, shall we go on? Seems to me that No Pins Intended is an appropriate name.
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!!
PS watch out for the Ram brothers, you have been forewarned.
the music seemed a good volume until you had to bowl, then those speakers were blaring right into your ear drums! Way to rock the best LCD Soundsystem song, but where the EF was the LADY GAGA!!!!!!? Better music than last season, for sure, but better dance jams are necessary. <3
So, Hungus..Pinups were number 7 last year and point wise we beat your ranked #5 this year team by more than 10 points. We’re not even in the top 15? Were you picking team names out of a hat when forming that list? Paid off?
I guess we’ll have to let our balls do the talking.
You also have the record for wildest swings between high scores and low scores. If you think you’re gonna be able to get by this year on those kinds of an erratic displays, you are in for some surprises. Toothy grins and groupies ain’t gettin you no where in 2010, Mr. MVP.
no seriously,,, i can’t seem to find who bowled the best games last year. i think its on here. dam i wish my interweb skills were as amazing as my bowling skills… well i guess ill just keep looking,,,it must be here somwhere… or could u just tell me who broke the records for high games rolled? that might be easyer.. thanks for your help
Let me be the first to reply. Turkey? Hambone? I think you are more likely to get a buzzard. I’ve seen you on the lanes, trying to reinvent the wheel. Let me tell you, nachos are pretty good. The chips, the salsa, the cheese. I’m more about cheesy cakes though. Whether I’m throwing creepers, cutters, dives or four baggers, the lanes are spicy bubbling cheesy cakes, all night. You probably don’t know about any of those. I’ve seen your floaters that eventually turn flat balls. You gotta work on your follow-through kid. Or maybe you want to perfect your benchwork. Sure, a little smalk talk might get to me, but at the very worst, I’ll just be throwing garbage hits.
I gotta call out Gutterballs. Have you ever seen so many graveyards? You fellas chose your name wisely. Well done. Bravo.
my comment was actually an homage to the director’s commentary on the “Anchorman” DVD. Obviously a little too highbrow for you. I’ll keep it much more simple from now on.
Please don’t wear yourself out. You’ll need your energy striving to add that elusive third digit to your average.
the bedposter Reply: November 9th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
elusive for you maybe. all inclusive for me. i am one of the top 5 rollers in the league. i have jeff lebowski bed sheets, everything in my house is waxed hardwood and i’ve been fired twice for playing online bowling at work.
i’ve seen anchorman before, once. the only good part is when lincoln hawk turns his hat backwards, performs the cobra and wins the world arm wrestling competition, and is reunited with his estranged son. if you need to find me on the lanes, just look for the guy with the backwards cap, arm wrestling strikes to a championship win.
127 comments
I see a lot of interesting posts here. I have bookmarked for future referrence.
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Now that I know there is an award for this, I am going to take it to a whole nutha level……..
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Hot Sauce Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 5:55 am
…cow pie, meadow muffin, fecal matter, dung, my dance moves, dookie, brown trout, kaka…since we are on the topic.
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Oolie Reply:
April 12th, 2010 at 11:28 am
oh, please…
you’re gonna need more synonyms for “turd” to reach that next level: doo-doo, excrement, b.m., stool, poo. poop, crap, Dr. Thunder’s skills, scheisse, diarrhea, scat, droppings, caca…
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Here are my odds:
Bingas 2/1 favorites over OC - while Oz can put up big numbers, he’s been a bit out of form, and even when he is, can’t match JJ’s 3-game avgs (who can?). OC needs big performances from all contributors - Hunny Bunny, Tron, Knuffi and Dick. Can they count on them tonight?
LOS 5/2 favorites over B.E.E.R. - Four (count ‘em) rollers that can hit highs with some amount of consistency for the Spares. BEER with two. Filthy McNasty and Fern will need close to their personal bests to overcome.
Tasty odds for BEER… who wants to give me their money?
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Let’s here the odds, who has who?
I’m taking Bingas in a close one over OC and LOS over BEER. Others?
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Cheddar Reply:
April 8th, 2010 at 8:14 am
I care to differ. BEER over LOS, close very close
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 10th, 2010 at 6:52 am
you are clarivoyant Cheddar, congrats!
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 8th, 2010 at 10:23 am
is this a guarantee?
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Natro Reply:
April 8th, 2010 at 11:12 am
Dr. Thunder has felt the wrath. He knows, he knows.
Did I almost witness a fight last night? What a way to harsh my mellow.
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Oolie Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:20 am
yeah. disgraceful even. if you know any involved, berate them. let them know that BowlPortland has no room for it.
Excuses such as: alcohol consumption, or one’s masculinity being challenged hold no water, either.
Poor form. Make these rare few accountable for their extreme douchebaggery! It hurts us all…
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 8th, 2010 at 8:05 am
As a kid I found it much more enjoyable getting in fist fights at movie theaters as oppossed to bowling alleys……
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Really LouDawg??? PEACE+LOVE on the smack talk board? And you are handing out shit talking advice?? Thats like going to confession ending with “Thanks for listening Father, now excuese me Im off to get a beej from the corner hussy.” That doesnt even make sense, then again not much of your pointless fancifal jibber-jabber makes any sense. Just by quoting Mark Twain wont gain you street cred. Misguided mouth-offs are the reason smack talk exists oh wise one, dont forget it. BRING IT!!!!
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LouDawg Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 9:49 am
Ahhh, that’s more like it, Hot Sauce — and fear not, it shall be brought; in fact, you best be checkin’ your saucy self, cuz I already dun brang it!!!!
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 9:27 am
This is why Hot Sauce kills pins, his head is in the right place!
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Amen, Brother Cuppy!
What has this world come to, when misguided mouth-offs abuse our great forum for civilizend debate and jocund jest?? SmackTalk was created as a holy sanctuary for the asinie mystic and obsence oracle alike, but there can be no place for such malicious babble hate-mail.
As Mark Twain said, “Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
Here’s the point I’m really trying to get across here: “Come Cheer on Young and Bowled tomorrow night!! If other teams come make love to us with their cheers, we will keep our end of the bargain and pull off THE REAL greatest upset in the history of the league!!!
PEACE+LOVE
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 9:29 am
I am cheering fervently against the Young and Bowled over tonight should we get eliminated and you advance, I will be the one honking the air horn every time your team hits the wood to roll!
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LouDawg Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 9:55 am
I respect that sentiment, good doctor; however, we would suggest that you use one of the league-approved noise-makers from our “Holiday Box” — which most certainly will be provided to you.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 10:53 am
All right dude, sounds good, I don’t have no stinkin’ air horn any way…….I will be definitely hanging out taking in the quarters should UA bowl over us as predicted……….
Hey Cuppy who you guys playing this Tuesday????
Oh that’s right the bowling balls have been put away for the spring. That tissue you speak off? You should of used it to dry your eyes and blow your nose after your 14-1 beat down last Tuesday.
Leave the smack to the teams still playing dude………
Roll Bork!
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cuppy Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
when you pluck the obvious out of the apparent and turn it into a juvenile assault on my limited, albeit decent, bowling abilities, i can’t help but wonder why you’re not putting that extra chromosome to better use. and besides, smack talks all i got left. cut a brother some slack. bowl well…..
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
ha-ha, I fear it is soon to be all I have left as well my friend……..
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cuppy Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
stay positive sir. thanks for the banter. see you at the bowling ball….
Hey Urban Achieveturds! Did I misspell that????? Maybe, probably not though, don’t expect the Borkers to lie down for you. Also DRMAturd, look me up kid you’ll find out real quick that the good Dr. is not an embarrassment to the male race…….
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
April 1st, 2010 at 5:50 am
Take the win for granted punk, we will be showing up looking to pull the greatest upset in BoPo history, and thanks to your potty mouth I think everyone will be pulling for TDYOB.
Now do yourself a favor head to the bathroom and wash your mouth out with soap before I need to take you over my knee next Tuesday night and give your rear end a good spanking. I got a good feeling you might like it, you’ve got some serious repressed issues my friend…….hopefully your ball is willing to back up your talk next Tuesday night!!!!
Should be fun.
Roll Bork!
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cuppy Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 11:15 am
wow. i could smack you both harder with a tissue. focus on the bowling guys and stop embarrassing us with the display. robots versus the showboats. i’ve been imagining your upcoming game as a sleep aid these past few days. works well. think i’ll take a nap. be good. and may the random team win.
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The Rattler is dying to get out of its cage!
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Oolie Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 10:19 am
You better hope it molts, ’cause your game needs a new lease on life.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 8:39 am
also oolie you are a washed up bum, it is on to psl for you now, come cheer for us next week……..
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Caught a glimpse of Young & the Bowled getting in a last-minute practice at the lanes yesterday. You’d think they’d have a little more confidence up against a lowly #25 seed. But instead, it looks like they are panicked.
I guess their “bush-league psych-out stuff” backfired. Laughable.
Nice try, suckas.
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LouDawg Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 11:39 am
While I know the pre-requisites for participating in “SmackTalk” are (1) far too much free time and (2) a complete inability to back up one’s words, I feel compelled to retort to my dear friend’s voluminous ‘verbal diarrheae’: as it turns out, the rescheduling negotiations were far more than petty mind games — in fact, the LouDawg faced almost certain termination from his job to ensure the YBers could field a full roster for last night’s exhibition. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do we hope to see NPI in the playoffs next year? Hells yes, but not until the last week — see ya in the semis, dude…
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Sheesh! I got quite a bit of grief for wearing the dirndl (traditional german dress) last night!! Those of you who bowled on the league last year should have gotten it, but for those of you who weren’t on the league last year… I am “Ichtanzegern” (german for “i like to dance;” also known as “Ichy” or “Ichy Poo”) and last year my team was “Die Gassenjungen” (german for “the Street Youth”) and we were known as “The German Team.” Each of the german team members wore this german dirndl at least once (in most cases twice), it became part of our team’s attire along with the yellow jerseys. Since last night was throwback night at Bowl Portland, I wore the dirndl. It wasn’t completely random, although that I often am as well. :]
http://german-clothing.com/dirndl.htm
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Livin’ on a Spare will be wishin’ they had kept the Prayer after tonight! Go ahead and bring you’re balls to the rumble… we’ve got switchblades and chains!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpaS2v-r7cE
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TDYOB would like to apologize to the teams we have bested 15-0, we got bested 15-0 last night minus Munson and Sneaky Pete and it leaves a s-taste in your mouth, ouch even alcohol couldn’t wash it down…….
Watch out for LOS, minus their best bowler per average they were making a couple runs at 700, they could be a darkhorse!
At TDYOB we are just looking to drink a few beers, have a few laughs and have a good time, should we happen to win some games along the way, so be it……..
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Oolie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:54 am
Always trying to back off your pervious boasts after a loss.
Feigned humility really clashes with that sleeveless shirt of yours, Doc.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 8:52 am
the sleeveless shirt has been retired, it has not made an appearance in like 3-4 weeks, maybe playoffs, but probably not, it’s all Lebowski shirts (with sleeves) all the time now my friend……
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What’s smack talk I want to learn how to smack bitchs with my words someone teach me
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Herb'n Achiever Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 8:04 am
I can kinda appreciate your attempt at stirring up something here on the ST board, however feeble. But I see it for what it really is - a mediocre bowler who has seemingly sprung into greatness by a single big game. A common delusion, so the league doesn’t fault you for the bravado.
After last night, though, it might do you well to back away from the keyboard and focus on rolling. BowlPortland is a smack talk/bowling biathlon for those with mettle.
Maybe next year, P.R.M.A.D.N.N.A.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 6:05 am
Yeah the homophobia definitely was no good, not many people gonna be cheering for UA, although it was an anonymous post maybe it was a ghost poster I am willing to give DRMA the benefit of the doubt here, could be a rival trying to get people against UA, Peanut Gutter from ICBING has been known to make such posts under the Dr. Thunder name for this same reason.
Now if it was, come on brah what are you 12?
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don't need a dictionary Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 4:57 am
whoa. someone got ruffled.
classy touch, the homophobia…
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Constable On Patrol Reply:
March 15th, 2010 at 11:50 am
well, if you continue to spout the ignorant “smack bitchs” nonsense, you may prove that you just don’t have the aptitude for smack talk. It is a refined and dignified art form.
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don't need a dictionary Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:50 am
sorry if you were offended. no harm meant on the smacktalk board. it’s all supposed to be tongue in cheek - sarcastic and exaggerated rhetoric.
it’s all for the love of BoPo, baby!
and that’s why you can lay off the ignorant-sounding assertions of your masculinity…
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D.R.M.A Reply:
March 15th, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Are your ears bleeding are you going to be alright does anyone need to call someone? And as for the art of smack talk I’m bigger than picasso “BITCHS”
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Oolie you tore it up as DJ kid! You, Karl I got 3/23 off, I’ll spin that night…..
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knuffi Reply:
March 12th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
sorry dr blunder, were not so sure about your musical taste. name your top 5 favorite jams to bowl to…
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 13th, 2010 at 6:18 am
A quick five I’d like to bowl to:
Shinitz Snoop Dogg
Paid in Full Erik B and Rakim
Method Man Wu Tang Clan
Chinacat Sun Flower/I Know You Rider Grateful Dead
Blister in the Sun Violent Femmes
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:18 am
Knuffi I got a good feeling that you can’t dance at all. You’ll see the Dr. tearing up the floor every Tuesday with an occasional windmill after a strike, there is a lot of opportunity for windmills the way the Dr. is rolling lately, 159 avg last 5 league games…..
Also Craig Mack “Flava in ya ear” is always a crowd pleaser but you wouldn’t know that because you most likely dance like a Wooden Indian (Native American for the nore pc crowd) arms all tucked to your side looking like you are having a slow motion seizure (epileptic episode for the more pc crowd) ……….the Dr. knows music and he knows how to party and he knows how to own a dancefloor, been doing it my whole damn life……
here comes the brand new flava in ya ear
time for brand new flava in your ear
I’m kickin new flava in ya ear (and in this league)
the good Dr. has spoken…..
knuffi Reply:
March 15th, 2010 at 9:33 am
you’re fired!
You know you got a good thing going when you lose and you had the most fun you have had all year. I had a feeling playing Saucy Posse would be a blast……..check…………
Roll TDYOB!
Roll B oPo……
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Hot Sauce Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 6:42 am
That was a great night at BP, fun and competitive couldnt ask for much more. Hitchhikers? PICK’EM UP!!!!!!!!!
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Now that we are on top we don’t plan on leaving, we’ve got some sauce for the posse next week!
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Hot Sauce Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I could take the Colts perspective and let the opponents do all the “talking”, however the colts are lame and such would be by keeping quiet. That being said, SauPo enjoys having an abundance of sauce to spread the love around. Although the Posse is a big deal, this does not deter any of its members from engaging in simple humanitarian activites such as assisting old ladies crossing the street, licking peoples stamps & envelopes that lack the necessary saliva, or tutoring on the fundamentals of underwater basket weaving. (the list of activites really is endless) On the contrary, if the alphabet gang from the feeble group has some “sauce” that you think our ambidextrous, whimsical, monozygotic, multi-lingual, well traveled, courageous, intelligent, & cant forget extremely good looking, Posse lacks, its probdobly not “sauce” at all but simply your vacant optimism. Do not forget, its all about the hitchhikers.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 8:48 pm
damn Hot Sauce you got me by 3 pins game one and 1 pin game two, 6 more lousy pins in those games from the Dr. and we take it 8-7, alas we won the break dancing competition…..folks if you aren’t watching Archer on FX start doing it, if you don’t like it or find it offensive a.) blame it on Roy Munson, b.) lighten up, c.) get over yourself, of you start DVRing the hell out of it, you are welcome……
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
change of to if please, neverland here I come…….
Oolie Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 6:15 am
that fact alone qualifies your division as “softest in the league”
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Natro Reply:
March 4th, 2010 at 9:01 am
Pretty sure that the bye week you have in week 12 is going to lose it for you.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 7:47 am
Agree with that Natro, but enjoying the view from the top while it lasts. Oolie ufortunately we won’t be able to destroy your No Pins Knocked Down in a head to head match up this season, unless we catch you in the playoffs. You’ve proven it, one player does not a team make……..
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Someday, specialized robots will be developed so that practically anyone will be able to beat Off Constantly.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:30 am
Oolie how did the smack work out for you?
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Oolie Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:06 am
Funny you should bring it up… My smack always works out.
Usually hit the freeweights with a mid-weight, mid-rep program on Tuesdays and Fridays. Mondays and Thursdays are all cardio - a couple thousand yards in the pool, sometimes the rowing machine. On the weekends it’s a la carte - racquetball, bike rides, kayaking, plyometric circuits…
Gotta keep my smack at its’ youthful best - trim, toned and ready to go at any moment.
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Oolie Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:19 pm
admittedly, my actual game is a gettin’ flabby.
Dr. Thunder Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:16 am
Awesome…….
Oolie the Dr. does not take kindly to your scurrilous accusations on my facebook page about said pubic infestation…..hard or soft shelled?????? Since I cannot take it out on you in the lanes as you are the vast superior bowler at this point in our careers, I will have to take it out on you by manning up on you in portland summer league this summer, ha-ha…….congratulations on your one win last summer, the Dr. tasted 22 and raised the chalice of champions in front of the whole league (cough cough for the third time cough cough)……
Roll Bork!
P.S. Oolie those pins WERE intended……….
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Oolie Reply:
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:01 am
I’m wondering aloud how long it will take for you to make the painful transition from summer sport to winter sport.
It’s been almost 7 months now, so you should be just about through with languishing in the pool of past glories and more concerned with staying above the waves of the considerable challenge that you have voluntarily chosen in BowlPortland.
Alas, if you must insist upon clutching to something so irrelevant to rolling heavy spherical objects as throwing lightweight discs - no one can stop you.
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
February 23rd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
my average is on the rise my man, and once you show me how to make this new ball consistently hook, watch out! Also we are doing just fine in our inaugural season, and the Dr. is actually not too terribly upset with his 130.75 average, I expected it to be much lower, but now that I am addicted I expect it to be much higher and it is going up every night kid! There will be “dirt” at the lanes tonight…….
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Dr. Thunder Reply:
February 24th, 2010 at 7:07 am
God damned alcohol!
my man t-$ was going to write something here. but he can’t write well with just his left wrist functional. he can only bowl pure strikeage.
type-on righties.
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When I see the lack of verve on this board, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed in BowlPortland.
Is this all you can muster folks? Throw at something… anything!
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ichtanzegern Reply:
February 16th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
we’re lovers, not fighters <3
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Smack that needs to be rewritten by the Commish = NOT VERY GOOD SMACK.
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JELTZ! Reply:
January 25th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
And I know good smack, believe me.
-JELTZ!
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Oolie Reply:
January 25th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Here’s some china white for your ass: You’re lucky that I’m not rolling this week because your flimsy two pin lead on my average would vanish. Actually, if you don’t pull another 200 FLUKE outta the air, it’ll probably be gone with nary a sweet, swift stroke from me. If for no other reason than your perfect hair, you can bet I’ll be heckling you tomorrow from a stool behind the tall tables - I heard all you Dirty folk melt under that kind of heat…
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barry Reply:
February 1st, 2010 at 5:45 am
jeltz.
It seems two me, that you shood staht consunstraitin’ on yer gaime, instaid ov worrin’ aboot the smack on this bored.
JELTZ! Reply:
January 31st, 2010 at 5:03 pm
[unimpressed]
So, No Pins Intended has the night off tomorrow and we’re all showing up anyway - drunk.
The question I have is: who’s game should we watch and why? Is there anybody in desperate need some cheerers-on to push them over the brink for a win? Anybody so damn good that they just want witnesses to their greatness. Make a compelling case and we will be there to offer stellar support (or perhaps harassment) for your squad.
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Oolie Reply:
January 25th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
anybody?
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Bubbles Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 11:58 am
Lots of dancing and occasional shouts of BUBBLES (usually made by Lukass(?) in the same vein as HANK!) usually work wonders for my rolling. That said, I selfishly invite you, Mr. Oolie pro-bowler-dancer-drinker man to come rock out at the Huevos/Happy Hands game. So long as you occasionally shout BUBBLES for good luck.
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so, a summary of the deleted comments:
Bulge (Pinups): Hey CB Onutz, you didn’t seem like you were having any fun. We like fun.
Barry(Huevos) Hey, I don’t play for the Nutz, but I like getting in these smack-battles, so, you guys should have won your game.
Bulge (Pinups) I though Barry played with the Nutz, so I thought he was escalating the argument, but I still contend the Nutz take the game too seriously.
There you have it in digest form.
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Our team is fat and happy, we all have our own balls and shoes and we are better than you. Are captain although foreign (you’re not prejudice are you?) fat, old and balding and pretty much a human turd is well versed in hookers, as he opens the door slightly, apologizes for calling and throws some money out the door and then goes back to sleep in his basement, usually rolls in the high 90’s so watch out.
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boom Boom BOOM!!!!! And gloom for the rest of the league.
Dr Thunder is back in town and the team showed it last night. Karl, never underestimate TDYOB again!!! Understand?
Bowl Portland, you’ve been served!!
The Dr makes house calls and Riverside is his home.
BOOM!!!!!
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The Real Dr. Thunder Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 7:43 am
This douchebag above is not Dr. Thunder trust me a 118 and a 120 won’t have me talking much smack. Although it was a great time last night versus a really fun team in Three Livers.
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i find that the lack of team pages for the name-changers and newbies hampers the ability for more direct smackin’. always a pleasure for it to be leaking out into the public forum, but ultimately more rewarding and less clutter-fucky. however we do not have this option. and, unfortunately, No Pins Intended happen to be part of the frequent riders club of our humble taxi service. quite a pickle. oh well. Ooolie, we do expect you to bring your best this evening. we’ve been up north with honey all week at his syrup farm. clearin’ his land of non-productive trees with our new disco balls. bowling balls. that is. our arms are three times larger than last week and this sugar rush don’t seem to be going anywhere soon…….
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Don’t people know about the smack talk?
Where is it?
Oolie?
Dr Thunder
Karl H?
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That’s right, You’ve been served!
TDYOB
Dr Thunder and Sneaky Pete are basking in the hot Florida Sun and we called our game in. Guess what BP, BOOM!!!!
The Dr makes House Calls
Who’s Next?!?!
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Don Relampago Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 10:27 am
Dr. Thunder, a typical name. Just like thunder, sure makes a lot of noise, but doesn’t really do any damage, apart from scaring little dogs… It is the lightning who lights up the sky, and the lanes…
My strikes will make your hair stand on end.
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Roy Munson Reply:
January 13th, 2010 at 7:18 am
Dr Thunder,
It was easy.
Roy
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The Real Dr. Thunder Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Yo league I was just alerted that this smack talk board existed. Rest assured all these alleged posts under our bowling names aren’t us. We are just looking to drink a few beers and have a few laughs if we happen to win a few games along the way so be it, if we don’t that is fine too. You won’t see us posting smack on here. Good luck to all, looking forward to tomorrow night.
Mike Leding
Dr. Thunder
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King Pin Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 10:22 am
Dr. Thunder or Dr. Blunder? Dr. Game’s Going Under? Dr. The Pins they Don’t Asunder? Dr. Gutterball, No Wonder?
Boom!!!!!
Have any of y’all heard the one about the bowling team that did just about everything to improve their game - with seemingly clever team name and nicknames (the league is so over it - we can’t believe it’s not time to teach your pony another trick), stalking other team’s top talent to try and leech any amount wisdom and skill, two-hour commutes for one-on-one lessons with a VERY patient (and well-paid) bowling phenom, went out and got their own madras shirts (makes ‘em look like a bunch of over-the-hill Buffett fans), AND all sorts of online chatter under various pseudonyms to anonymously hype an otherwise lackluster squad??? Well, the only punch line is the one that will be delivered by their opposition tonight at the lanes. TKO in three rounds.
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Gutter Churned Reply:
January 13th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Pump Spray, guttering the bread, churning the gutter, apple gutter, cocoa gutter, shall we go on? Seems to me that No Pins Intended is an appropriate name.
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!!
PS watch out for the Ram brothers, you have been forewarned.
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ISWING Reply:
January 12th, 2010 at 9:49 am
ouch!
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C-A-N-D-Y A double S spells…. dr. thunder….. what a weak excuse for not rolling on opening night….
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barry watcher Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 8:58 am
Have you heard this guys noise?
Rest assured, his bark is worse than his bite, have you ever seen thunder?
Neither have I.
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Weird, played, I know, I saw the grammatical errors.
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i second this notion if you replace “funk” with “gaga.”
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the music seemed a good volume until you had to bowl, then those speakers were blaring right into your ear drums! Way to rock the best LCD Soundsystem song, but where the EF was the LADY GAGA!!!!!!? Better music than last season, for sure, but better dance jams are necessary. <3
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This Dr Thunder sure does talk a bunch. But just like his name he is all talk and no action.
Can you see thunder?
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TDYOB will take this league by storm. You’ve been warned.
Dr. Thunder!
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wah wah Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 10:38 am
Once you get over this “puke virus”
The bowling gods will not look favorably upon your team.
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TDYOB Reply:
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:51 pm
The bowling gods have looked more than favorably upon us as can be attested by our 76.5 points……
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So, Hungus..Pinups were number 7 last year and point wise we beat your ranked #5 this year team by more than 10 points. We’re not even in the top 15? Were you picking team names out of a hat when forming that list? Paid off?
I guess we’ll have to let our balls do the talking.
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It’s not even 2010! I am in the future! Wee-hoooo-weee!
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Polished my ball all winter. Ready to roll!
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hey who ended up with high average and high game last year? i can’t seem to find it.
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ichtanzegern Reply:
January 6th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
who rolled a 147 last night, jerk!?
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truth-sayer Reply:
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 am
You also have the record for wildest swings between high scores and low scores. If you think you’re gonna be able to get by this year on those kinds of an erratic displays, you are in for some surprises. Toothy grins and groupies ain’t gettin you no where in 2010, Mr. MVP.
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ichtanzegern Reply:
January 6th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
who rolled a 147 last night, jerk?
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jamaican jerk Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 11:15 am
its like they told my parents in 4th grade,,, brian is hella erratic. n they were right. pressure on tha 2nd week tho, should be good.
jamaican jerk Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 am
no seriously,,, i can’t seem to find who bowled the best games last year. i think its on here. dam i wish my interweb skills were as amazing as my bowling skills… well i guess ill just keep looking,,,it must be here somwhere… or could u just tell me who broke the records for high games rolled? that might be easyer.. thanks for your help
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jamaican jerk Reply:
December 11th, 2009 at 10:41 am
last time i checked 266 is higher than 240,, but mabey im jus high
Natro Reply:
December 7th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I’m pretty sure I took it with a 240 in the playoffs. Just sayin.
You’d think we was at ballet academy with all them splits…
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King Pin Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I have my own personal umpire to call out my strikes with emphatic fist pumps. Don’t try and argue with him either.
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Manhattan Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Your card looks like Morse Code with all those dashes.
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Oolie Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 9:55 am
I’ve been told more than a few times that I must be REALLY hardcore with the number of X’s I accumulate
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ichtanzegern Reply:
January 6th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
straight edge is not allowed in this game, oolie.
Manhattan Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 10:20 am
I roll like Hugh Heffner. X’s all over the place.
try this one on for size:
Your scoresheet is lookin like an Amish barn-raising with all those open frames!
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Manhattan Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 10:23 am
they ought to call me leonidas, cause I’m the king of 300’s.
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I can’t believe you spelled your own name wrong. It’s spelled “uli”.
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the bedposter Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am
yo manhattan, i can’t believe you spelled your name wrong. it should be “i stink at bowling.”
Steeeerike!!!!
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Let me be the first to reply. Turkey? Hambone? I think you are more likely to get a buzzard. I’ve seen you on the lanes, trying to reinvent the wheel. Let me tell you, nachos are pretty good. The chips, the salsa, the cheese. I’m more about cheesy cakes though. Whether I’m throwing creepers, cutters, dives or four baggers, the lanes are spicy bubbling cheesy cakes, all night. You probably don’t know about any of those. I’ve seen your floaters that eventually turn flat balls. You gotta work on your follow-through kid. Or maybe you want to perfect your benchwork. Sure, a little smalk talk might get to me, but at the very worst, I’ll just be throwing garbage hits.
I gotta call out Gutterballs. Have you ever seen so many graveyards? You fellas chose your name wisely. Well done. Bravo.
This is gonna be my best season yet!
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Oolie Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
my comment was actually an homage to the director’s commentary on the “Anchorman” DVD. Obviously a little too highbrow for you. I’ll keep it much more simple from now on.
Please don’t wear yourself out. You’ll need your energy striving to add that elusive third digit to your average.
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the bedposter Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
elusive for you maybe. all inclusive for me. i am one of the top 5 rollers in the league. i have jeff lebowski bed sheets, everything in my house is waxed hardwood and i’ve been fired twice for playing online bowling at work.
i’ve seen anchorman before, once. the only good part is when lincoln hawk turns his hat backwards, performs the cobra and wins the world arm wrestling competition, and is reunited with his estranged son. if you need to find me on the lanes, just look for the guy with the backwards cap, arm wrestling strikes to a championship win.
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Oolie Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
(’elusive’ refers to something that is tricky to grasp, or persists in escaping one’s control)
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I’ll just start this out by saying “shitballs”.
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