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2010 Smack Talk

Still has that new Smack smell!

79 comments

1 Dr. Thunder { 03.09.10 at 7:54 pm }

Oolie you tore it up as DJ kid! You, Karl I got 3/23 off, I’ll spin that night…..

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2 Dr. Thunder { 03.09.10 at 7:40 pm }

You know you got a good thing going when you lose and you had the most fun you have had all year. I had a feeling playing Saucy Posse would be a blast……..check…………

Roll TDYOB!

Roll B oPo……

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Hot Sauce Reply:

That was a great night at BP, fun and competitive couldnt ask for much more. Hitchhikers? PICK’EM UP!!!!!!!!!

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3 TDYOB { 03.03.10 at 12:29 pm }

Now that we are on top we don’t plan on leaving, we’ve got some sauce for the posse next week!

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Hot Sauce Reply:

I could take the Colts perspective and let the opponents do all the “talking”, however the colts are lame and such would be by keeping quiet. That being said, SauPo enjoys having an abundance of sauce to spread the love around. Although the Posse is a big deal, this does not deter any of its members from engaging in simple humanitarian activites such as assisting old ladies crossing the street, licking peoples stamps & envelopes that lack the necessary saliva, or tutoring on the fundamentals of underwater basket weaving. (the list of activites really is endless) On the contrary, if the alphabet gang from the feeble group has some “sauce” that you think our ambidextrous, whimsical, monozygotic, multi-lingual, well traveled, courageous, intelligent, & cant forget extremely good looking, Posse lacks, its probdobly not “sauce” at all but simply your vacant optimism. Do not forget, its all about the hitchhikers.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

damn Hot Sauce you got me by 3 pins game one and 1 pin game two, 6 more lousy pins in those games from the Dr. and we take it 8-7, alas we won the break dancing competition…..folks if you aren’t watching Archer on FX start doing it, if you don’t like it or find it offensive a.) blame it on Roy Munson, b.) lighten up, c.) get over yourself, of you start DVRing the hell out of it, you are welcome……

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

change of to if please, neverland here I come…….

Oolie Reply:

that fact alone qualifies your division as “softest in the league”

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Natro Reply:

Pretty sure that the bye week you have in week 12 is going to lose it for you.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Agree with that Natro, but enjoying the view from the top while it lasts. Oolie ufortunately we won’t be able to destroy your No Pins Knocked Down in a head to head match up this season, unless we catch you in the playoffs. You’ve proven it, one player does not a team make……..

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4 Oolie { 03.01.10 at 2:29 pm }

Someday, specialized robots will be developed so that practically anyone will be able to beat Off Constantly.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

Oolie how did the smack work out for you?

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Oolie Reply:

Funny you should bring it up… My smack always works out.
Usually hit the freeweights with a mid-weight, mid-rep program on Tuesdays and Fridays. Mondays and Thursdays are all cardio - a couple thousand yards in the pool, sometimes the rowing machine. On the weekends it’s a la carte - racquetball, bike rides, kayaking, plyometric circuits…
Gotta keep my smack at its’ youthful best - trim, toned and ready to go at any moment.

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Oolie Reply:

admittedly, my actual game is a gettin’ flabby.

Dr. Thunder Reply:

Awesome…….

5 Dr. Thunder { 02.23.10 at 10:35 am }

Oolie the Dr. does not take kindly to your scurrilous accusations on my facebook page about said pubic infestation…..hard or soft shelled?????? Since I cannot take it out on you in the lanes as you are the vast superior bowler at this point in our careers, I will have to take it out on you by manning up on you in portland summer league this summer, ha-ha…….congratulations on your one win last summer, the Dr. tasted 22 and raised the chalice of champions in front of the whole league (cough cough for the third time cough cough)……

Roll Bork!

P.S. Oolie those pins WERE intended……….

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Oolie Reply:

I’m wondering aloud how long it will take for you to make the painful transition from summer sport to winter sport.
It’s been almost 7 months now, so you should be just about through with languishing in the pool of past glories and more concerned with staying above the waves of the considerable challenge that you have voluntarily chosen in BowlPortland.
Alas, if you must insist upon clutching to something so irrelevant to rolling heavy spherical objects as throwing lightweight discs - no one can stop you.

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

my average is on the rise my man, and once you show me how to make this new ball consistently hook, watch out! Also we are doing just fine in our inaugural season, and the Dr. is actually not too terribly upset with his 130.75 average, I expected it to be much lower, but now that I am addicted I expect it to be much higher and it is going up every night kid! There will be “dirt” at the lanes tonight…….

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Dr. Thunder Reply:

God damned alcohol!

6 j-bird { 02.22.10 at 6:29 pm }

my man t-$ was going to write something here. but he can’t write well with just his left wrist functional. he can only bowl pure strikeage.

type-on righties.

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7 Oolie { 02.16.10 at 12:45 pm }

When I see the lack of verve on this board, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed in BowlPortland.
Is this all you can muster folks? Throw at something… anything!

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ichtanzegern Reply:

we’re lovers, not fighters <3

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8 JELTZ! { 01.25.10 at 1:17 pm }

Smack that needs to be rewritten by the Commish = NOT VERY GOOD SMACK.

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JELTZ! Reply:

And I know good smack, believe me.

-JELTZ!

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Oolie Reply:

Here’s some china white for your ass: You’re lucky that I’m not rolling this week because your flimsy two pin lead on my average would vanish. Actually, if you don’t pull another 200 FLUKE outta the air, it’ll probably be gone with nary a sweet, swift stroke from me. If for no other reason than your perfect hair, you can bet I’ll be heckling you tomorrow from a stool behind the tall tables - I heard all you Dirty folk melt under that kind of heat…

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barry Reply:

jeltz.
It seems two me, that you shood staht consunstraitin’ on yer gaime, instaid ov worrin’ aboot the smack on this bored.

JELTZ! Reply:

[unimpressed]

9 Oolie { 01.25.10 at 11:57 am }

So, No Pins Intended has the night off tomorrow and we’re all showing up anyway - drunk.
The question I have is: who’s game should we watch and why? Is there anybody in desperate need some cheerers-on to push them over the brink for a win? Anybody so damn good that they just want witnesses to their greatness. Make a compelling case and we will be there to offer stellar support (or perhaps harassment) for your squad.

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Oolie Reply:

anybody?

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Bubbles Reply:

Lots of dancing and occasional shouts of BUBBLES (usually made by Lukass(?) in the same vein as HANK!) usually work wonders for my rolling. That said, I selfishly invite you, Mr. Oolie pro-bowler-dancer-drinker man to come rock out at the Huevos/Happy Hands game. So long as you occasionally shout BUBBLES for good luck.

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10 Karl H. { 01.21.10 at 4:53 pm }

so, a summary of the deleted comments:
Bulge (Pinups): Hey CB Onutz, you didn’t seem like you were having any fun. We like fun.
Barry(Huevos) Hey, I don’t play for the Nutz, but I like getting in these smack-battles, so, you guys should have won your game.
Bulge (Pinups) I though Barry played with the Nutz, so I thought he was escalating the argument, but I still contend the Nutz take the game too seriously.

There you have it in digest form.

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11 ICBING { 01.20.10 at 7:47 am }

Our team is fat and happy, we all have our own balls and shoes and we are better than you. Are captain although foreign (you’re not prejudice are you?) fat, old and balding and pretty much a human turd is well versed in hookers, as he opens the door slightly, apologizes for calling and throws some money out the door and then goes back to sleep in his basement, usually rolls in the high 90’s so watch out.

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12 Dr Thunder { 01.20.10 at 7:00 am }

boom Boom BOOM!!!!! And gloom for the rest of the league.

Dr Thunder is back in town and the team showed it last night. Karl, never underestimate TDYOB again!!! Understand?

Bowl Portland, you’ve been served!!

The Dr makes house calls and Riverside is his home.

BOOM!!!!!

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The Real Dr. Thunder Reply:

This douchebag above is not Dr. Thunder trust me a 118 and a 120 won’t have me talking much smack. Although it was a great time last night versus a really fun team in Three Livers.

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13 cuppy { 01.19.10 at 12:51 pm }

i find that the lack of team pages for the name-changers and newbies hampers the ability for more direct smackin’. always a pleasure for it to be leaking out into the public forum, but ultimately more rewarding and less clutter-fucky. however we do not have this option. and, unfortunately, No Pins Intended happen to be part of the frequent riders club of our humble taxi service. quite a pickle. oh well. Ooolie, we do expect you to bring your best this evening. we’ve been up north with honey all week at his syrup farm. clearin’ his land of non-productive trees with our new disco balls. bowling balls. that is. our arms are three times larger than last week and this sugar rush don’t seem to be going anywhere soon…….

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14 Frickin ten pin { 01.19.10 at 10:40 am }

Don’t people know about the smack talk?

Where is it?

Oolie?
Dr Thunder
Karl H?

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15 Dr Thunder { 01.13.10 at 7:15 am }

That’s right, You’ve been served!

TDYOB

Dr Thunder and Sneaky Pete are basking in the hot Florida Sun and we called our game in. Guess what BP, BOOM!!!!
The Dr makes House Calls

Who’s Next?!?!

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Don Relampago Reply:

Dr. Thunder, a typical name. Just like thunder, sure makes a lot of noise, but doesn’t really do any damage, apart from scaring little dogs… It is the lightning who lights up the sky, and the lanes…

My strikes will make your hair stand on end.

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Roy Munson Reply:

Dr Thunder,
It was easy.
Roy

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The Real Dr. Thunder Reply:

Yo league I was just alerted that this smack talk board existed. Rest assured all these alleged posts under our bowling names aren’t us. We are just looking to drink a few beers and have a few laughs if we happen to win a few games along the way so be it, if we don’t that is fine too. You won’t see us posting smack on here. Good luck to all, looking forward to tomorrow night.
Mike Leding
Dr. Thunder

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King Pin Reply:

Dr. Thunder or Dr. Blunder? Dr. Game’s Going Under? Dr. The Pins they Don’t Asunder? Dr. Gutterball, No Wonder?

Boom!!!!!

16 Gutter we coming to? { 01.12.10 at 9:44 am }

Have any of y’all heard the one about the bowling team that did just about everything to improve their game - with seemingly clever team name and nicknames (the league is so over it - we can’t believe it’s not time to teach your pony another trick), stalking other team’s top talent to try and leech any amount wisdom and skill, two-hour commutes for one-on-one lessons with a VERY patient (and well-paid) bowling phenom, went out and got their own madras shirts (makes ‘em look like a bunch of over-the-hill Buffett fans), AND all sorts of online chatter under various pseudonyms to anonymously hype an otherwise lackluster squad??? Well, the only punch line is the one that will be delivered by their opposition tonight at the lanes. TKO in three rounds.

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Gutter Churned Reply:

Pump Spray, guttering the bread, churning the gutter, apple gutter, cocoa gutter, shall we go on? Seems to me that No Pins Intended is an appropriate name.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!!

PS watch out for the Ram brothers, you have been forewarned.

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ISWING Reply:

ouch!

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17 barry { 01.07.10 at 7:47 pm }

C-A-N-D-Y A double S spells…. dr. thunder….. what a weak excuse for not rolling on opening night….

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barry watcher Reply:

Have you heard this guys noise?

Rest assured, his bark is worse than his bite, have you ever seen thunder?

Neither have I.

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18 Buffalo Booth { 01.07.10 at 7:17 am }

Weird, played, I know, I saw the grammatical errors.

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19 ichtanzegern { 01.06.10 at 4:54 pm }

i second this notion if you replace “funk” with “gaga.”

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20 ichtanzegern { 01.06.10 at 4:50 pm }

the music seemed a good volume until you had to bowl, then those speakers were blaring right into your ear drums! Way to rock the best LCD Soundsystem song, but where the EF was the LADY GAGA!!!!!!? Better music than last season, for sure, but better dance jams are necessary. <3

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21 Dr Blunder { 01.05.10 at 10:47 am }

This Dr Thunder sure does talk a bunch. But just like his name he is all talk and no action.

Can you see thunder?

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22 Dr. Thunder { 01.05.10 at 9:44 am }

TDYOB will take this league by storm. You’ve been warned.

Dr. Thunder!

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wah wah Reply:

Once you get over this “puke virus”
The bowling gods will not look favorably upon your team.

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TDYOB Reply:

The bowling gods have looked more than favorably upon us as can be attested by our 76.5 points……

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23 Bulge Temptingly, Pinups { 12.26.09 at 6:46 am }

So, Hungus..Pinups were number 7 last year and point wise we beat your ranked #5 this year team by more than 10 points. We’re not even in the top 15? Were you picking team names out of a hat when forming that list? Paid off?
I guess we’ll have to let our balls do the talking.

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24 Karl H. { 12.09.09 at 2:30 pm }

It’s not even 2010! I am in the future! Wee-hoooo-weee!

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25 Muskrat { 12.02.09 at 12:37 pm }

Polished my ball all winter. Ready to roll!

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26 jamaican jerk { 11.21.09 at 6:24 am }

hey who ended up with high average and high game last year? i can’t seem to find it.

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ichtanzegern Reply:

who rolled a 147 last night, jerk!? ;)

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truth-sayer Reply:

You also have the record for wildest swings between high scores and low scores. If you think you’re gonna be able to get by this year on those kinds of an erratic displays, you are in for some surprises. Toothy grins and groupies ain’t gettin you no where in 2010, Mr. MVP.

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ichtanzegern Reply:

who rolled a 147 last night, jerk? ;)

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jamaican jerk Reply:

its like they told my parents in 4th grade,,, brian is hella erratic. n they were right. pressure on tha 2nd week tho, should be good.

jamaican jerk Reply:

no seriously,,, i can’t seem to find who bowled the best games last year. i think its on here. dam i wish my interweb skills were as amazing as my bowling skills… well i guess ill just keep looking,,,it must be here somwhere… or could u just tell me who broke the records for high games rolled? that might be easyer.. thanks for your help

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jamaican jerk Reply:

last time i checked 266 is higher than 240,, but mabey im jus high

Natro Reply:

I’m pretty sure I took it with a 240 in the playoffs. Just sayin.

27 Oolie { 11.18.09 at 1:22 pm }

You’d think we was at ballet academy with all them splits…

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King Pin Reply:

I have my own personal umpire to call out my strikes with emphatic fist pumps. Don’t try and argue with him either.

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Manhattan Reply:

Your card looks like Morse Code with all those dashes.

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Oolie Reply:

I’ve been told more than a few times that I must be REALLY hardcore with the number of X’s I accumulate

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ichtanzegern Reply:

straight edge is not allowed in this game, oolie.

Manhattan Reply:

I roll like Hugh Heffner. X’s all over the place.

28 Oolie { 11.18.09 at 1:20 pm }

try this one on for size:
Your scoresheet is lookin like an Amish barn-raising with all those open frames!

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Manhattan Reply:

they ought to call me leonidas, cause I’m the king of 300’s.

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29 Manhattan { 11.09.09 at 10:42 am }

I can’t believe you spelled your own name wrong. It’s spelled “uli”.

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the bedposter Reply:

yo manhattan, i can’t believe you spelled your name wrong. it should be “i stink at bowling.”

Steeeerike!!!!

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30 the bedposter { 11.02.09 at 7:04 pm }

Let me be the first to reply. Turkey? Hambone? I think you are more likely to get a buzzard. I’ve seen you on the lanes, trying to reinvent the wheel. Let me tell you, nachos are pretty good. The chips, the salsa, the cheese. I’m more about cheesy cakes though. Whether I’m throwing creepers, cutters, dives or four baggers, the lanes are spicy bubbling cheesy cakes, all night. You probably don’t know about any of those. I’ve seen your floaters that eventually turn flat balls. You gotta work on your follow-through kid. Or maybe you want to perfect your benchwork. Sure, a little smalk talk might get to me, but at the very worst, I’ll just be throwing garbage hits.

I gotta call out Gutterballs. Have you ever seen so many graveyards? You fellas chose your name wisely. Well done. Bravo.

This is gonna be my best season yet!

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Oolie Reply:

my comment was actually an homage to the director’s commentary on the “Anchorman” DVD. Obviously a little too highbrow for you. I’ll keep it much more simple from now on.
Please don’t wear yourself out. You’ll need your energy striving to add that elusive third digit to your average.

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the bedposter Reply:

elusive for you maybe. all inclusive for me. i am one of the top 5 rollers in the league. i have jeff lebowski bed sheets, everything in my house is waxed hardwood and i’ve been fired twice for playing online bowling at work.

i’ve seen anchorman before, once. the only good part is when lincoln hawk turns his hat backwards, performs the cobra and wins the world arm wrestling competition, and is reunited with his estranged son. if you need to find me on the lanes, just look for the guy with the backwards cap, arm wrestling strikes to a championship win.

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Oolie Reply:

(’elusive’ refers to something that is tricky to grasp, or persists in escaping one’s control)

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31 Oolie { 10.28.09 at 10:53 am }

I’ll just start this out by saying “shitballs”.

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