Playoff Lines

The playoffs are here.  Kind of snuck up on me.  We’ve got 16 teams still alive this afternoon, and that will get whittled down to four in one awesome evening of bowling action.  All but the two #1 seeds matchup early, and the winners advance to the quarterfinals at 8pm.  Because it’s the playoffs, if your match is decided in two games, do not bowl the third game.  Thanks and good luck.

Group A

Point Breakers (6-4) vs Alley Cat Strikes (5-5): Beerframe Mafia (7-3) vs Bye

Roadhouse’s Swayze inspired unit has shown glimpses of being dominant.  Their top two of Roadhouse/Natro is as solid as anyone’s, and they have gotten a great season from Tilt-A-Whirl who is hungry for some postseason success.  After that though they have had a lot of inconsistency.  The AC Strikes started in a big hole (though one loss was in a bolwoff) but have battled back to even their record on the strength of league top bowler Bama.  After that there’s a big drop off in stats, but T-Square will look to the UREA connection of T-$ and Knuckles.  I think Bama will get the high series but Point Break’s depth gets them a 9-6 win.

Beerframe Mafia had a the tremendous 6-0 start but have finished the season 1-3.  Cilantro will need to keep his team from pressing.  They have a solid #1 in Cheddar and Nugget has been what they expected, but I can’t shake the feeling that they peaked midseason.  I think Point Breakers knock them off 8.5-6.5

 

Group B

Three Finger Surprise (8-2) vs Taint Punch (4-6): Team Skittles (6-4) vs Ball Jam (5-5)

I’ll call Group B the Group of death as it is loaded with interesting teams. The Surprise is on an eight game winning streak and are the hottest team entering the playoffs.  Taint Punch, meanwhile, snuck in to the playoffs only after SBD blew a 5-0 lead and lost 8-7 in the final week.  Despite that disparity in how they got here Taint Punch is a dangerous draw for TFS.  They have a very strong team average and Tango enters the match bowling at his best.  He finished slightly ahead in average of TFS leafed Jerk.  Taint also had a slight average edge in the 2 hole with Spidey over Tso, and a big edge at 3 with Baller over Snapshot.  Surprise has their ace in the hole in Captain Chernobes.  She’ll battle Rufio.  This is my pick for game of the night (1st round). The Binga’s want to send a message that they’re for real in BoPo this year, so I think they find a way to sneak by Taint 8-7.

Ball Jam has a big roster and they’ll field the full squad tonight.  We all know that’s a double edged sword: more chance to find a hot hand, less chance to get in a rhythm.  I don’t think it will matter in this match.  They look to have great depth, and Valley Girl gives them  big advantage.  Team Skittles has ridden emotion and their top dog Sparkles further than their average indicates they should’ve made it.  Tootsie has done a great job captaining, and Hot Sauce has a checkered history as a playoff captain, but I think Ball Jam gets through 9-6.

I’d take whoever survives the TFS/Taint matchup to reach the semis, but since I picked TFS I’ll take them over Ball Jam in a hypothetical quarterfinals 9.5-5.5

 

Group C

Colucci Kids (5-5) vs Big Whoop (6-4): Loud Noises (8-2) vs BYE

Well this was supposed to be a Twin Towers showdown, but Double Cheese will not be in the building.  The Dude is pretty tall, though not Precious’ height.  The Kids started the season 1-5, and then won with Precious out of town to start their turnaround.  They’ve now won 4 straight behind sensational rolling from Steff Infection and predictably excellent bowling from Precious.  Big Whoop’s path has been more of a zig zag.  They have been getting strong scores from Dude and Burt but it’s tough to make up for Cheese’s absence.  McStriker vs Steff will be an excellent duel.  Booth has struggles all year but has big game potential.  I’ll take the hot team to advance, Kids 10-5.

Deputy has led his own team well and finished high in the stats.  Pauly has a been his 2nd best, with Duke Thunderwood posting  decent amount of 200s.  Ali is defending BoPo champ and The Cleaner is auditioning for new teams after Y&B folded.  The noises know how to win, but I think the Kids will be warmed up and ready to roll after the 1st round and will continue their amazing turnaround from 1-5 to the Semifinals, winning 9-6.

 

Group D

Bowla Constrictors (7-3) vs 100% Down (5-5): Dick’s Picks Vol. IV (7-3) vs # Gutter (5-5)

Diesel is out to defend his Draft League title and he’s got a strong squad with him.  They have the best top three by average in Diesel, Bustah and Beef, and Honey Bunny is  a playoff assassin with a ton of postseason success on her resume.  They catch 100% Down at just the right time, coming off a bye and with Hungus and Slow Roll showing serious signs of beach rust last night.  Uncle Jesse or Nuber will have to play out of their minds in this one.  I see Bowla winning in two, 8-2.

Dick’s Picks is facing serious attrition.  They may only have two healthy arms at game time.  They will be allowed (as always) to let people catch up if they show up before game 1 ends.  Stiffy is iffy, QB is tardy, Farmer is injured.  #Gutter has look shaky lately but advanced to the playoffs as beneficiaries of an almost unheard of Draft League forfeit from Gatch’s team.  That’s gross.  Anyway, they now may catch another break if Dick’s is short.  I think they get an early lead before all Dick’s arrive, then hold on 8-7.

The constrictors should be able to plow through to the semis no matter which team they face. I’ll take them 8-2 over #Gutter.

 

 

 

Playoff Schedule

ALL GAMES are early, unless you have a bye.  All winners play again at 8.

 

#1 E Beerframe Mafia vs BYE

#4 W Point Breakers vs #5 E Alley Cat Strikes

#2 W Three Finger Surprise vs #7 E Taint Punch

#3 E Team Skittles vs #6 W Ball Jam

 

#1 W Loud Noises vs BYE

#4 E Colucci Kids vs #5 W Big Whoop

#2 E Bowla Constirctors vs #7 W 100% Down

#3 W Dick’s Picks vs # 6 E #Gutter

Los Playoffs Estan Aqui

Tulum BowlHope all is going swimmingly back in the states.  Here’s what I’ve got for matchups after having last night’s scores telexed beachside.  First round matchups are early games on Thursday, then quarterfinals are the late games.

#1 E Beerframe Mafia vs BYE

#4 W Point Breakers vs #5 E Alley Cat Strikes

#2 W Three Finger Surprise vs #7 E Taint Punch

#3 E Team Skittles vs #6 W Ball Jam

 

#1 W Loud Noises vs BYE

#4 E Colucci Kids vs #5 W Big Whoop

#2 E Bowla Constirctors vs #7 W 100% Down

#3 W Dick’s Picks vs # 6 E #Gutter

Week 10

Last week for a few teams (Hexy’s Hooligans, 100% Down, E-Minority Report, and Loud Noises)   and things are starting to come into focus.  In the West, only the Division Title and the last playoff spot are open questions.  The East is much more muddled.

Early Games

Big Whoop (4-4) -1 vs E-Harmony (3-6):  This is the last stand for E-Mo’s bunch.  If they win then they can come watch next week and cheer against Big Whoop for a shot at the playoffs.  Big Whoop can remove any drama by clinching their spot with a win in this one.  I guess the question is how will being desperate impact these guys?

#6 Point Breakers (5-3) -3 vs Hexys Hooligans (1-8): Not much to play for in this one.  Point Break is locked into the playoffs but can’t win the division, and Hexy’s rollers are just getting in one last league-style practice before BoPo.

Colucci’s Kids (3-5) -1 vs #Gutter (4-4): There’s plenty to play for in this one.  #Gutter can clinch a playoff spot with a win, and Guttertime has been killing it.  The C-Kids have won two in a row now and have a look at a playoff spot.  A loss wouldn’t knock them out but would severely lessen their chances.  Precious is gunning for the only 200+ average.

Team Skittles (5-3) -3 vs Ebowla (3-5):  Well, team Skittles has a playoff spot wrapped up but would like to get some momentum going.  Ebowla is fighting for its life.  Of course with the election behind us none will be talking about Ebowla anymore, so I think they slide out of the playoff picture.

Late Games

#3 Loud Noises (7-2) -3 vs Nonchalant (2-6):  The Noise can wrap up a division title with a win and rest easy next week on their pre-playoff bye.  They could technically still win the title with a loss but it would take some luck.  Nonchalant has no playoff hopes, technical or otherwise, but they’d love to play spoiler and knock Deputy down a peg.

#1 Three Fingered Surprise (6-2) -3 vs 100% Down (5-4): The Surprise isn’t surprising anyone – you see them coming, you just can’t stop them.  They’v e had the highest score in the league three weeks running and are on a 6 game win streak.  They can win the division if Loud Noises slips up.  Slow Roll’s Downers made the wise choice to clinch a playoff spot last week so they are in the playoffs regardless of the outcome of this one.  Still good watching as Hungus vs Jerk duels are usually fun, anyway, and Hungus still has a very outside shot at Top Dawg.

#2 Beerframe Mafia (6-2) -3 vs Silent But Deadly (4-4):  The Mafia has now lost 2 straight after a 6-0 start but they can clinch the division title with a win.  SBD looks pretty good for a playoff spot but they need to win at least one of their last two to make sure.  I think the Mafia get their mojo back.

Taint Punch (3-5) -1 vs Alley Cat Strikes (4-4): The Taintsmen are in trouble at 3-5 in spite of having the best team average in the East.  I figure thing shave to even out for them with that average so I pick them in a narrow win.  Bama and the Strikes have rolled off three straight to get a little more comfortable but a loss here will leave them in the mix for a wild week 10 playoff chase.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crossover Week!

The first round of playoff match ups will feature all inter conference games.  East #2 will play West #7 and so on.  Tonight is our one chance to see how that night might go as the conferences get a chance to square off.  I’m predicting 5-5. Plus, it’s the last game before the election!

 

Oh, and Hall of Famer Johnny Petraglia will probably be in the building tonight watching a little bowling the night before the big PBA Draft tomorrow afternoon.  Free bowling expo and trick shots at 1pm, Draft at 3, see you there!  I guess we’re all Brooklyn Styles fans this week.

Early Games

 

#1 Beerframe Mafia (6-1) -3 vs #4 Loud Noises (6-2):  This Winter Cheddar and Deputy will be united on Yahtzee, but for tonight they’ll get a chance to go head to head and battle over BoPo alpha role (though in truth Yahtzee’er Sparkles has higher scores than both of them – that’s a scary lineup).  Both teams have good looks at top seed and bye to the quarterfinals but a loss here opens things up in the loser’s conference.  BF is coming off their first loss, I don’t think they’ll let it turn into a losing streak.

 

Point Breakers (4-3) -1 vs SBD (4-3): The Dead Presidents are coming off a shocking 8-7 loss to Nonchalant in a game they led 7-3.  SBD  hasn’t won a game since Oct 2nd but are still in good shape for a playoff spot.  Natro has the highest average of anyone in the match at #16, then SBD has the next two in Sloppiness and Boots who #24 and #25.  I think Roadhouse is overdue for a huge night.

 

#6 Bowla Constrictors (5-3) -1 vs #3 Dick’s Picks Vol. IV (6-2):  I’m going with Diesel in a slight upset.  Too much to worry about for Dick’s.  They lost Space Farmer for the season (also out for BoPo t sounds like) with a knee injury and that will rattle their chemistry.  Plus Dick will be facing Busta knowing he is joining him on OC this Winter.  Mr. Stiffy looks like the top bowler in the match but I think Bowlas bull their way to victory.

 

Taint Punch (3-4) -1 vs Ball Jam (4-4):  Violent assaults on the groin matchup in this one as two teams who have bounced in and out of the rankings battle it out.  Looks like a full squad for Balll Jam but that didn’t help them last week as fresh-off-the-boat Shifter was out of form and injured.  Taint Punch let one slip away last week but the Tango-Spidey combo which already looked solid got another big night from teammate Baller.  Tough to choose, but if forced I guess I’ll take Taint Punch.

 

100% Down (4-4) -1 vs #Gutter (4-3):  Trending – #Gutter knocked off the last unbeaten team last week,a nd only needed two games to do it.  I guess I’m counting on a letdown int his one.  100% Down has been blown out two weeks in a  row and now really need a win to feel comfortable about a playoff spot.  How will having a living legend of bowling watching the game affect things?  I think scores will be high, and the game goes down to the wire.  Of course if we really want to put on a show for our guest we should collude to guarantee a Hungus vs Gutterboy bowl off.

 

Late Games

 

#2 Three Fingered Surprise (5-2) -3 vs #5 Team Skittles (5-2): Great game here.  The Skittles’ inspired team has kept exceeding expectations, getting solid team wide bowling then lights out top scoring from Top Dawg contender Sparkles.  He’ll face multiple Top Dawg trophy holder Jamaican Jerk in a  great showdown, but Jerk’s pals look a little too strong for Tootsie and co.  Tso has been light’s out, Chernobes has been consistently Chernobes, and even the non-Binga’s on the team have been stepping up.  This team is going to be hard to stop.

 

Colucci’s Kids (2-5) -3 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (1-7):  Precious has the top average but his team is in danger of missing the playoffs.  He can start to fix that with a win tonight and I think his team cruises.  Hexy’s team has already been eliminated from playoff contention, and they’d probably love to pull another team out of the playoffs as a spoiler, but it will be tough.  Coco Lopez vs Steff infection should be a great matchup but unless Walter channels 2v2 Walter to hang with Precious I think the difference at the top will make the secondary match ups irrelevant.

 

Ebowla (2-5) -1 vs Nonchalant (2-5): It seems like Ebowla hasn’t played in weeks.  I guess if we followed the mob we should insist they stay away from the bowling alley for 21 days.  The Yay boys have been getting some better scores and they need this one to have a shot at a playoff spot.  Nonchalant picked up a miracle come from behind win (both of their wins this year they have trailed going into game 3).  They could care less about being the only team with a  sub 600 average.  Cookie and Bijou give them  fighting chance to pull this off and if they win they will amazingly still be in the playoff hunt.  A loss and they’re out so expect them to pull out all the stops.  Ebowla has a little more berthing room – a loss wouldn’t automatically eliminate them.

 

Big Whoop (3-4) -3 vs Gatch Patch Kids (2-6):  Do or die time for the GatchPatchers, but they face a tough assignment.  Big Whooop gets Captain and spiritual leader McStriker back from her injury (scooter-finger) and are facing an almost must win themselves.  Both face big drop-offs after their top bowlers, Cheese is #11 then the next Whooper is Dude at #47.  For GPK it’s Southpaw at #20 then Wildcard at #50.  Some likely heroes need to emerge.

 

It Puts The E-Motion In The Basket Or Else It Gets tThe Hose Again (3-5) -1 vs AlleyCat Strikes (3-4):  The AC Strikes’ 3-4 record looks solid in the East, but E-Mo’s team is still fighting for the lives at 3-5 in the West.  Luckily for them they have won two straight, but a loss here combined with a few other results going against them and they could be eliminated tonight.  I think that sense of urgency will push them to a third straight win.  Hopefully Johnny is still round for the start of this one so he can see Bama roll and know we have at least one guy in the league who rolls like a serious bowler.

 

 

 

 

Back At It

Believe it or not there are only 4 more weeks in the regular season.  For a lot of teams byes mean only three games left.  Only Beerframe Mafia has clinched a playoff spot, and while no one has officially been eliminated we are getting close.

Early Games

#5 Loud Noises (5-2) -5 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (1-6):  Both teams are reeling, but Loud Noises’ two game losing streak still has them tied for first while the Hooligan’s are pretty much one loss from elimination.  Walter rolled well today, and Jon Moon has shown some signs of life, plus Coco Lopez is a big game bowler.  That said I just can’t see them knocking off Dep and crew.  Look for the Noise to be brought.

#6 Team Skittles (4-2) -1 vs Taint Punch (3-3):  The Taints have a twenty pin higher average than their opponents in this one but hard to bet against Team Skittles right now.  Any analysis of the bowling is probably pointless, just going with the gut here.  Sparkles is a legit top dawg candidate, and I ‘m guessing he gets enough help to overcome Tango and Spidey.

#2 Three Finger Surprise (4-2) -1 vs Big Whoop (3-3):  Big win for Big Whoop last week while their Captain is still out recovering from scooter-finger.  The win got them a little breathing room but a loss here and they’ll be back to looking over their shoulder.  Cheese is probably ready to make a move after watching his two BoPop teammates dominate the stats page so far, but he’ll face Jerk who is also trying to get back in the conversation at the top of the leaderboard.  Tso has been picking up steam, and Chernobes has the edge over Clarified if she has to bowl all three.  I like this game a lot.  Dude  and Burt (currently practicing at 1045 on Wednesday night) are sneaky.

Ball Jam (4-3) -1 vs #3 Dick’s Picks Vol. IV (5-2): Upset alert!  Well, not a huge upset as before last week Ball Jam was ranked and Dick’s wasn’t  The Jammers are bringing their full squad and that means energy.  Shifter is fresh off the boat and Dr. McNasty is ready to operate in his battle with Queen Bee.  Dick’s is coming off a win, has an MVP candidate in Mr. Stiffy and is in first but I think the West is going to finish in a logjam.  We’re all just along to fix the cable.

Late Games

#4 Point Breakers (4-2) – 5 vs Nonchalant (1-5): Rick Vaughn needs to do this himself.  Bijou has been as advertised (when around) and Cookie has done what he could, but with his team’s backs against the wall it’s up to the Captain to step up and turn thing around.  The Point Breakers have their eyes set on 1st place, and look like a strong candidate to get closer to the top with a win here.  Roadhouse bowler well in MIST, and he’s bound to start getting big scores to move his average up where it belongs.  Natro will be faced with his usual dilemma of trying to stay sober for a late game, but at least he has Friday off.

#1 Beerframe Mafia (6-0) -3 vs #Gutter (3-3): Gutterboi is probably pretty excited to get a shot at the undefeated team.  Cilantro’s crew is deep and dangerous and can withstand even Gutterboi at his best unless he has some help.  Maybe some help like the 229-279 Gutterslut rolled two weeks ago.  Rubbys and Cilantro have got a fun vibe going allowing Cheddar to just roll.  It’s a good setup that has them 6-0 but they do have a big target on their backs now.

100% Down (4-3) -1 vs E-Motion Of The Ocean (2-5):  This is a tough one.  E-Mo’s are desperate for a win, and if they get a hot start and stay positive they definitely have the ability to do it.  McQueen would likely love to say hello to his new BoPo Captain by smacking him around a little.  Down was shorthanded last week and went away pretty meekly, but this week Uncle Jesse and Luke “The Sandwich” are back for some energy and some strikes.  Sandwich is a difference maker.

Gatch Patch Kids (2-5) -1 vs Bowla Constrictors (4-3): The Constrictors have fallen on tough times after and excellent start, bottoming out with Busta’s proclamation that he hates bowling as he hurled an intentional gutterball to close out last week’s game.  They still have a solid record but seem to be a bit in the doldrums.  Gatch’s kids need a win badly so I think they’ll find a way.  Dill is bowling with extra motivation which should sharpen his focus, and Gatch likes winning a lot.

 

 

 

 

Week 7 Quick Recap

Things are all bunched up now as lots of teams picked up big wins.  Dick’s is the new first place team in the West temporarily, but still 6 teams within a game of each other for first.  Different story in the East as 1st place looks solid for Beerframe but we’ll have a big battle for that last playoff spot (7th place) with all the 1-5 teams winning to stay alive for another week.

Precious holds on to top average for a second week but Bama is now right on his tail with Sparkles, Hungus and Mr. Stiffy still hanging in the race.

Skittles

I first knew Joy in her capacity as Secretary of the Senate in the Legislature.  She was so good at that job and ran a tight ship.  I was, like most of my colleagues, always impressed and always a bit intimidated.  When she started showing up at Bayside to bowl it was so disorienting to see her in this new capacity, I hoped I looked like I knew what I was doing running a business and hoped she thought I was doing it right.  She became a regular – she tackled bowling with the same focus and intensity she had brought to her professional life.  She was such a gracious presence here, though not above some good trash talking when the game called for it.  Thank you for sharing so much of your time with us here, Joy.  We will always remember you.

 

I am going to skip lines for this week.  Instead I was thinking folks could just comment with any Skittles stories they wanted to share.

 

We are working on a  fitting tribute to Joy here at Bayside, be it a trophy case with one of her old bowling balls, a plaque, or something else, and hope to have that put together relatively soon.

Week 6

Believe it or not two teams could clinch playoff spots tonight if everything breaks right.  Crazy!  All you 1-4 teams need to get something going, though you probably don’t need me to remind you.

New experiment tonight I am borrowing from a bowling alley in Wisconsin…the first game done in the early shift gets a free pitcher (moose head or brooklyn brown) for each team.

One last note – I am redrawing the matchups for crossover week.  You will play the team from the other conference with the same ranking as you (#1 vs #1, #2 vs #2 etc.) I will relist the schedule with the right matchups this weekend.

Game of the Week

#2 Loud Noises (5-0) -1 vs 100% Down (3-2): Loud Noises is one of only two undefeated teams, and they maintained that unblemished record in wild fashion last week, coming back from a  7-3 deficit with no Deputy.  The drama of their defending an unbeaten run may be overshadowed, however, by the drama of Deputy facing the BoPo Captain (and teammate) he is leaving behind in a free agent move.  Will Uncle Jesse and Luke give him the cold shoulder?  The knuckle sandwich?  Will Deputy tank to try to ease the sting of his leaving?  Makes for some interesting watching, and The Managemnet on 100% Down will try and take advantage of it.

Early Games

Point Breakers (3-2) -3 vs Emo and the Bunnymen (1-4): E-Minor’s crew has their backs up against the wall, but I don’t know what that means for them.  Will they just all look around at each other waiting for someone else to step up?  Will they just give up in the face of adversity? Lots of questions in my write-ups so far.  Point Breakers should be fine in this one.  Natro will want to show off in front of his soon to be new BoPo teammate, and it’s early so he should be soberish for at least game 1.  Roadhouse’s crew should roll unless Bora pulls out another 220 game like last week.

Dick’s Pick’s Vol. IV (3-2) -3 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (1-4): Hexy’s got another team stuck in the basement at 1-4 in the West.  They’ve been close a few times but need to find a way to grab a W before it’s too late.  Dick’s looks to be back on track after a short slide.  Mr. Stiffy is continuing his really strong season as a Dick, and Beaujolais and Queen B have been doing their jobs well.

#4 Bowla Constictors (4-1) -3 vs Taint Punch (2-2): Diesel’s bunch have just the one loss to the #1 team on their record and look like a solid title contender.  Bustah and Beef Wellington have done the heavy lifting for him.  Taint Punch has both Spidey and Tango in the top 22, but I don’t really know which way they are going.  I’ve had them in the top three and now they aren’t ranked.  Tango hasn’t locked in yet, but he’s due.  I could talk myself out of this line if I write much longer.

#6 Silent But Deadly (4-1) -1 vs Gatch Patch Kids (1-4): Well there are four 1-4 teams in the East so teams like Gatch Patch still can see a way into the playoffs, but eventually they’ll need a few wins.  Southpaw has been a solid #1 for them, and Wildcard has had half excellent games, but half really rough ones.  They could piece it together if they al score at the right time.  I just think SBD continues their unexpected run.  Sloppiness gets to battle his BoPo captain and should be fired up for that.  Lala vs Bonita looks like a really good battle that could determine the winner in this one.

Late Games

Alley Cat Strikes (1-4) -1 vs Colucci’s Kids (1-4): These teams may be a combined 2-8 but they feature two of the top three bowlers in the stats in Precious (2) and Bama (3). As strange as it seems it looks like one of those guys could be in real danger of missing the playoffs.  The Kids saved their season last week coming back from 7-3 down even with Precious out of town.  The Strikes have been close to more wins.  I’ll take ACS in a close one though everyone would probably like to see a Bama vs Precious bowl off.

#1 Beerframe Mafia (5-0) -5 vs Team Skittles (3-1): Team Skittles has been riding emotion and team depth to a strong start, winning three of four before their bye last week.  They will be missing their top bowler Sparkles who is in Vegas for one of his other beer sports.  The Mafia won’t take any pity on their opponent just because they re missing a few players.  They will cruise to a 6-0 start and, depending on a few other games, be the first team to clinch a playoff spot.

#5 Ball Jam (3-2) -1 vs Nonchalant (1-4): Ball Jam has been on a nice run lately moving up the standings and power rankings with some big scores.  They’ll try to keep it going with Shifter back out of town.  They look like easy favorites against Nonchalant, but Rick V’s crew has their backs against the wall and if they have Bijou and Cookie together they can hang.  That said they can’t win until Rick, Ramrod or Probie finally has a big night.

#Gutter (2-3) -1 vs Ebowla (1-4): The infectious disease crew showed some signs of life lately – Yao and Bombpop put up some solid scores – but they are in trouble at 1-4.  A win here would go a long way toward turning their season around.  #Gutter is a hard to team to predict, but they do seem to have come together really well as a group.  That should be enough to keep them out of the basement.

 

Week 5 and Press Conference

I will be doing some weird Channel 6 live feeds Thursday morning at 5am-7am.  I’m not sure I always get online abbreviations right, but I’m pretty sure FML works in this situation.  For morning lovers?  Anyway, the regular, big press conference with all the media folk is at 3pm.  Please be here for that if you can.  Free bowling from 2-3, and I’m sure I’ll find a way to get you some Mooseheads.  Thanks, peeps.  BowlPortland made this all possible.

We have our first bye weeks this week with Team Skittles and Taint Punch sitting this one out.

One final note, as I suggested last Thursday, PBA commish Tom Clark will indeed be hanging around after the press conference for some beer drinking and heckling.

Game of the Week

LATE: #5 Point Breakers (3-1) -3 vs #2 Loud Noises (4-0):  This one lost a lot of its luster with news that Noises captain Deputy will miss the match.  Still, it’s a battle for first in the conference and that’s always exciting to watch.  Roadhouse and his crew are looking for a fourth straight win and I think they get it.  Noises second best average, Pauly Ringwald, still is higher than anyone on PB, but then their dead president depth kicks in.  Tilt-A-Whirl is having a breakout year (and if we do an all-star game, which we may, would definitely have a spot at this point).  Loud may have some fear without their captain, and fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.

Early Games

#1 Beerframe Mafia (4-0) -3 vs Alleycat Strikes (1-3):  At first glance this looks like a walk in the park for the #1 team, but I think it’s going to come down to the wire.  The Strikes got in the win column last week even with Bama not bowling his best.  They are bowling with a little desperation and it’ll help them here.  Cilantro has his Mafia completely even keeled so they won’t be impacted by their opponent’s mindset, they just need to expect a high scoring match.  They’ve done it 4 times already, so I think eventually they pull this one out but not before they get a little bit of a scare.

Silent But Deadly (3-1) -1 vs Ebowla (1-3): SBD is playing true to their name, they just kind of sneak up on you unexpectedly then BAM! Their top bowler Sloppiness isn’t even in the top 10 but they are a deep squad that has been doing enough to pick up wins.  Ebowla has been the big underachiever squad so far but last week’s win may help them get back on track.  They’ll be Oz-less in this rare early game for them, however, so I pick SBD to slide past them.

Big Whoop (2-2) -1 vs Dick’s Pick’s Vol. IV (2-2): These are two teams that have both been high in the rankings (Dick’s was #1 after two weeks) but have both fallen out entirely.  The Whoop’s first loss was understandable, a narrow one with no Double around, but now they’re on a two game streak, the same as The Picks.  Dick Liquor is 0-2 since fatherhood and looking to get his first win as a dad.  He’ll bounce back from last week.  This game is less about the captain, though, than it is about Stiffy vs Cheese.  Stiffy finally gets his chance to emerge from  the large shadow of his taller, more heralded championship teammates.  He’s sitting at 10th in the league almost 9 points ahead.  I expect some big scores from both of them, but McStriker brings this win home herself.

100% Down (2-2) -1 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (1-3): This will be fun – any game with Coco Lopez invariably evolves into a dance party.  The 100 per centers will be ready to light up the dance floor in their slick new team jerseys.  Walter often bowls well vs Hungus, so expect good numbers from him and a match that comes down to game three.  That’s where the 100% experience comes into play, and they will pull away with a late game Sandwich

Late Games

#3 Three Fingered Surprise (2-2) -5 vs Nonchalant (1-3): Ooh boy, Cookie vs Chernobylayne.  That right there is worth the price of admission, which as a reminder is free, but that’s not to diminish the implied worth of watching in my earlier phrase.  Nonchalant Bijou returned to action and held her top league average even so – impressive.  She’ll battle Jerk in this one in what looks like a sweet duel at the top.  Cookie will bring his A game against a team featuring three of his Binga’s squad, but after he and Bijou they have yet to develop.  Maybe Probie or Windiesel breaks out, or Rick Vaughn finds things, but that’s way to many ifs when you’re bowling against the #3 team in the league.

#6 Ball Jam (2-2) -3 vs E-Motional’s Roller Coasters (1-3):  Look out, it’s Ball Jam!  These guys have jammed their way from obscurity to the top 6 on the heels of a 700 average night last week.  Shifter is giving them big scores when he’s around, Valley Gurl is tearing it up and Xander keeps finding ways to strike.  If Filthy gets going too these guys could be really tough.  The Roller Coasters need captain E-Mo and the #1 pick McQueen to both step up and play like they’re capable of.  They could feed off each other and put up monster scores, but someone has to take the first step, or in this case, roll the first strike.

#4 Bowla Constrictors (3-1) -1 vs #Gutter (2-2): Diesel’s crew look to dust themselves off after their first loss of the season.  They play Munj’s team, who I can’t handicap at all.  When I ranked them, they were terrible.  When I buried them they were sensational.  I have no idea what to expect in this one, but I’ll probably have had one too many beers by the time it’s decided anyway.

Colucci Kids (0-4) -1 vs Gatch Patch Kids (1-3): Kids fight!  Colucci’s Kids try to get their first win and in the process drag Gatch’s Kids down into a last place tie.  Kids these days.

 

 

 

Big, big news, and week 4 previews

So BoPo, you’ve probably heard the rumors by now, and if you’re a hardcore bowling nerd (looking in your direction Shifter, plus the mirror) you read it on the bowling industry blogs.  The PBA is officially coming to Bayside Bowl.  Next March, a week or so before our playoffs, guys like Pete Weber, Chris Barnes, Norm Duke and Jason Belmonte will be bowling on lanes 5-6.  It will all be broadcast on ESPN.  BoPoers will get access to all the tickets on the side that will show up on tv.  It’s PBA League, mostly Baker Style stuff, but just last week they added a second tournament, a singles match play tourney, also at Bayside Bowl. Holy crap! EDITOR’S NOTE: Please keep this PBA info in house until next week.  Obviously everyone at the lanes will know but keep it off Facebook until the press event next Thursday.

Anyway, the official press announcement will be next Thursday at 5pm, right before draft league.  PBA Commisioner Tom Clark will be here for the press conference (and sticking around for beers and heckling during Draft League, suckas).  You should be here too.  Seriously I’d love to have a full house of BoPofor the press conference, letting the press folks know there are actually a ton of cool people really excited to welcome the world’s greatest bowlers to Maine – the first time PBA has ever been to Maine.  So mark your calendars and leave work early if you’re a normal, be here by 4:30 and start filling the place.  Thursday, October 2.  Week 5 of Draft League.  Thank you, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Game of the Week

#1 Bowla Constrictors (3-0) -1 vs #2 Beerframe Mafia (3-0): Get here early tomorrow for this one.  This a great contest between two top teams.  Diesel has his Bowlas doing just enough and they’ve pulled off three straight 8-7 wins.  He doesn’t want to show you up or anything.  Cilantro’s Mafia has snuck up on folks but won’t do that any longer.  Cheddar has been much happier not captaining and Cilantro has the team loose.  Nugget is killing it and Rubbys keeps throwing game three 200’s.  It’s a culture clash (for example Bustah and Rubbys are the league’s two biggest opponent touchers but do it in very different manners), but Cilantro will keep it fun.  I had to pick a winner so I’ll go with the defending champ Captain Diesel.

Early Games

Ball Jam (1-2) -1 vs 100% Down (2-1): It’s a Shifter AND McNasty week for the Jammers and they are hungry for a win.  Shifter tried long distance motivation but it didn’t work, now he’ll try to do the work himself.  Valley Girl has been her normal strong self on the lanes and McNasty would love to take out the other managers.  100% Down took advantage of Double Cheese’s absence to squeak out an 8-7 win last week, piling on Number One’s shoulders as he carried them with a 200 average over three games.  Just enough to win.  Hungus v Shifter would be a pretty classic bowl off battle of a couple of dudes with several bowl off wins under their belts.  Let’s find a way to make this happen.

Three Finger Surprise (1-2) -3 vs E-Minor (1-2): This is shaping up as a bounce back year for Jerk, not that he really went anywhere, he just didn’t dominate like we’re used to.  Well he’s been throwing a lot of strong draft games, placed 9th out of 72 top Northern New England bowlers and has a team that may be ready to make some noise. They have the 2nd best average in the league and look to even their record tonight. E-Minor’s team broke into the win column last week too but I’m not sure they’re fully lined up yet.  McQueen or E-Mo could go off at any time, but not sure they’re a match for Chernobylane’s Bingasesque troupe.

#Gutter (2-1) -1 vs Alley Cat Strikes (0-3): A big Back in Black on Back in Black showdown.  Bama and T-Square have their backs against the wall with an 0-3 start.  Gutterboy has surrounded himself with other Gutterfolk and rebounded from a week 1 loss with a couple strong wins.  Gutter(Spare)time has been having a strong season and Guttermunj’s hand is steady on the tiller.  Bama will have a huge game but unless T-$ turns it around his team falls to 0-4.

Tootsie (2-1) – 1 vs Gatch Patch Kids (1-2) : Gatch is back with his team after they made their own way the first couple games.  Wildcard is coming off a 298, so eyes will be on him.  Tootsie has stepped up as a Captain and rolled well, and his top pick Sparkles has been as advertised.  They are playing with a little extra motivation for Skittles, and I think that gets them the win in a close one.

Late Games

Nonchalant (1-2) -1 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (0-3): Bijou Lowrie’s name looks good sitting at the top of the stats page, but I have to think Rick Vaughn expected more than one game in three weeks, especially since he asked for all late games to accommodate his star.  I’m picking them assuming she shows (and pays her league dues) for this one.  Cookie has held things together but this team needs Bijou back.  The Hooligans also used a 1st round pick on a woman, and Coco Lopez has been the super fun, super consistent bowler her Captain knew she’d be.  Unfortunately they haven’t pulled out any wins.  Jon Moon has been struggling with the Dead Man’s Curve, and Wedgehead hasn’t had a big night yet.  It may be early in the season, but this is a big game for both teams.  No Bijou and I switch the line to Hexy -1.

Silent But Deadly (2-1) -1 vs McGuyvah (2-1): Let’s call it a stop on the Samsquampch revenge tour.  Or chalk it up to the fact that McGuyvah’s team doesn’t even have a name yet.  I don’t know why but I think this SBD win happens.  Cotter Martin is starting to make a name for himself, Boots would really like to make a name for himself and Lala would love to crush Tango (and Tango will be wasted trying to keep up with Sloppiness – epic Moosehead showdown between these two).  Too many signs too ignore.  Sorry McGuyvah’s no-name team.

#3 LOUD NOISES! (3-0) -1 vs #5 Dick’s Picks (2-1): New fatherdom finally caught up with Dick and dragged him down into the low 100’s for a week.  He will adjust.  His team is solid and united, but face a big test in Deputy’s undefeated bunch.  Dep’s got his doubles partner Duke with him, and he may finally be seeing some sort of benefit from that Slowinski business.  It’ll be tight, but if forced to pick I’ll take LOUD by 1.

#4 Big Whoop (2-1) -1 vs Point Breakers (2-1):  The Whoop lost last week but only by 1, and that was without Double Cheese (as a marginally interesting aside, I ‘ve been trying to not eat cheese this month and I think I’ve messed up on about 6 or 7 of the 24 days, but I’ve never been known for discipline).  What was I taking about.  Belmonte is coming to Bayside!  Oh yeah, the Point Breakers are 2-0 early, but now they’re late again.  That’s not their happy place.  I could see this team being 5-0 early and 0-5 late, in fact.  Eh, what do I know, I just work here.

Colucci Kids (0-3) -1 vs Ebowla (0-3): Mamma Mia, Pizzeria! (tm Dr Thunder).  The loser of this contest will be 0-4 and in big trouble (assuming you consider a risk of missing the playoffs in your casual bowling league ‘big trouble’.  You do, c’mon, admit it). Colucci has bowled well, and he gets his thoroughbred back this week, married.  Wait, did Precious go on a honeymoon?  If so, he’d be gone for this one and my line will look ridiculous.  Actually, maybe not.  What’s up with Oz?  He’s still a BoPo legend but he hasn’t been hanging with the top guys early.  He’ll be back, but how soon?  Probably not til the tourists all go home. Yao and Bombpop need to stop looking to the old guard and take matters into their own hands.

 

 

 

Quick Week 3 Recap

Week three was an aberration.  Lines and league coverage will be back.  Week three kind of helped to shape things a bit.  3-0 teams are pretty likely playoff teams.  0-3 teams aren’t out of anything but really have their backs against the wall in Week 4.  We get match ups at both ends of the spectrum this week with Colucci Kid’s 0-3 team battling Bombpop’s winless Ebowla squad.  Loser is in trouble.  At the top end we have #1 Bowla Constrictors (3-0) facing #2 Beerframe Mafia (3-0) in a great battle.  Looking forward to the week.

Dr. Thunder’s Guest Lines

Hot Sauce -2 1-1 vs. Deputy 2-0: Sauce’s squad is shifterless tonight, and only had a 10 pin advantage, that said on paper they can wipe their asses with Deputy’s squad. Although this is what Deputy has to say about that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syv-9ljde4c
Should come down to the wire, but Sauce seems to have the deeper squad.

Dick’s Picks -7 versus Roadheadhouse: Natro never does well in draft league, it isn’t his thing. Dick’s Picks is riding high since the birth of Davis and the new more sober laid back father Dick has even Space Farmer rolling well (which is hard to do). Mr. Stiffy will be there because he didn’t get invited to Precious’s wedding (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IhNuUjK6CI), Dick’s team has been crushing teams and end of day they will pull away from Roadhouses’ squad.

Cilantro 2-0 -10 versus Gatch 1-1: Cilantro has a 40 pin advantage and this one seems to be a mismatch. Cilantro has the Cheddar Magic going (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IhNuUjK6CI) and although Wildcard is coming off a 298 post a Jimmy Clark lesson he has yet to translate those big practice scores into big game scores, if he does the line comes down to -5.
Diesel 2-0 -1 versus T-Square 0-2: Diesel threw team camaraderie out the window for winning, T-Square went the usual route with Bama and T$. Diesel went online and went on the record saying Bama was not as good as advertised but Bama’s swing coach had something to say about that (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23wziF7gXn0). End of the day Busta hates losing and T-Square is cool with it giving the nod to Deez.
Tootsie 2-0 -3 versus Munj 1-1: Munj’s squad has an ICBINGish (#TOTY) type team avg, nowhere close to 600. Tootsie was the first roller to get Squamched by XXX Club, and is now back with a vengeance. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo3cVuvVRUE), yep that is a clip of Tootsie on Stiffy’s moped hell bent on revenge. Sparkles is hell bent on winning, and all the gutters are starting to catch up with the boys of Munj.
Squamach 1-1 -3 vs Colluci Kid 0-2: Mama mia pizzeria, the kid’s team couldn’t win with Precious what the hell is going to happen to them now that Precious is off getting married? Speaking of people that got kicked off XXX Club. Here is a video of the club after they kicked Squamach off, they emailed ths to Squamach to tell him he was out and Big Rig was in (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d09a_fiDUvA). Sloppiness will be the hero of this match and he is going to break out this oldie but a goodie after the victory. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiWVv1em7kc)
E-Minor 0-2 -1 vs Rick Vaughn 1-1: Somehow by the grace of God despite a league low 561 average thanks to their captain’s terrible bowling Rick V’s team has a win. Vaughn is sporting a hefty 104.4 average 5 games in, but is sticking to his guns that he can still average 150+. Bijou Lowrie has been heard to say this after each Rick has no heater frame(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RprMPis226k). Cookie ain’t gonna be down with this line and will try to pull the squad to a win but E Minor and McQueen seem ready to grab that first win.
100% Down (-5) versus McStriker: No DC spells big fucking trouble for McStrikers team as he is off at Precious’ wedding (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkzkmyOln6I) Hungus and crew will be ready to deflate the Cheese less crew (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI7eFYrgjPc).

Chernobes 0-2 -8 versus Hexy 0-2: Something has got to give between these winless squads, but the recently engaged Chernobes( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux0HfEQw58s ) team sports a way better average, not to mention they don’t have someone that used to go by the alias Anonymous trashed the fuck out of the place and staff that we love and rolls like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQohIb-_7vs).
McGuyvah -1 1-1 versus Bombpop: Everyone except Oz will get fall down drunk in this match. Here is Tango game 3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gfLrHzawV0).

Week 2 lines (and voting still open for date of semis/finals)

So, our play-ins and quarterfinals are scheduled for Nov 20th.  The following Thursday is Thanksgiving, so we can either wait until Dec. 4th to play the finals on a Thursday, or we can play them on Sunday, Nov 23rd.

 


Now, the lines!

Colucci Kids (0-1) -3 vs Cilantro (1-0): Precious came out of the starting blocks on fire, posting a 219 average in week 1. Capt. Colucci also showed he’s in it to win it, playing Precious three times in an attempt to get the win. Ultimately they fell just short but I predict they’ll even their record in this one. Cilantro has a nice little team put together, but they’ll be Cheddarless in this one and it will be tough to overcome.

#7 Chernobes (0-1) -1 vs #2 Dick’s Picks (1-0): I’d go with Dick’s Picks in this one if Dick was going to be there, but a three day old baby should keep him away from the lanes. Dick’s had sweet team shirts right from the get go, and we’ve learned from past draft leagues things like that matter. Remember last year the ridiculous differential in records between teams with names and teams with no names. Dick’s was first with name and uni. Chernobes team, while nameless, overcomes some of that since it’s half Binga’s anyway. Jerk will lead them to .500

#3 Big Whoop (1-0) -3 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (0-1): Well they both have names so that’s a wash. This will be a showdown between the reigning women’s doubles champs Coco Lopez and McStriker. CoLo is off to a solid start and should bring her a-game against her teammate. Double Cheese has reached the point where being in 11th is a down result – but he’ll rebound.

Roadhouse (0-1) -1 vs Hot Sauced (1-0): The ‘House let one get away last week so they should come out hungry. I expect big bounce back games from the Captain and Natro. Hot Sauce was on the positive side of an 8-7 win. This week they get just the Filthy half of the McShifter combo, but he’ll be raring to roll after only playing once last week. Xander was the the biggest surprise of week 1 with a very impressive 202.5 average in 2 games. Nice work.

#1 McGuyvah (1-0) -5 vs Munj (0-1): OK, you shouldn’t read too much into one week, but Munj’s team got off to a rocky start. That said they seem like they also have an excellent camaraderie brewing. They look like heavy underdogs in this one but they also look like a team that could come together as the season progresses. McGuyvah’s team didn’t show that same level of enjoying themselves, but they bowled well and will continue to bowl well. I think they cruise to 2-0.

Late Games

T-Square (0-1) -5 vs Gatch (0-1): Both teams are coming off losses but in very different fashions. The T’s tied and only got the loss in a hard fought bolwoff battle. The Gatches looked lost without their Captain around and struggled to only 4 points. Bama will be looking for revenge this week and will take it out on whoever rolls next to him. T-Square got off to a nice start herself and is in it to win it. Gatch should be back for this one and will try to right the ship that looked a little rudderless last week. They have a lot of talent on the roster, maybe they turn it around quickly with the Cap back.

#5 Diesel (1-0) -5 vs Bombpop (0-1): Again it was just one week, but if the openers were any indication these teams are headed in opposite directions. Diesel is defending champ and owner of 4 BoPo major titles. He grabbed Bustah who was slipping in the draft, and Wing Alex is looking to redefine himself as Beef Wellington. If he gets anything out of Honey Nunny or Ruby Canary (who is getting in extra games as a Restaurant Leaguer) look out. The Bombs were a dud in week one and struggled to 2nd lowest average in the league. They’re too good to stay there, but they need to turn it around sooner rather than later in he one Bayside League where not everyone makes the playoffs. Oz should be inspired by the opportunity to bowl against his wife.

#6 100% Down (1-0) -3 vs Rick Vaughn (0-1): Slow Roll’s squad was shorthanded in week one but managed to come from 4-1 down to pull off an 8-7 squeaker with a little help from emergency sub, and re-retired Dr. Thunder. This week they get their #2 pick, #1, back, and seeing as it’s a team that may relay more on vibe than talent, having the whole crew together will be huge. While Down rallied from 4-1 down, the Vaughns gave away a 4-1 lead. IN game one 1st rounder Bijou Lowry put up a 220 but when she left after that the team’s fortunes changed. Ricky himself struggled mightily to lat place average in the league. He’ll be hungry to rebound. Cookie will be eager to beat his former Supah Deep mates to prove they made a mistake in the draft.

#4 Tootsie (1-0) -1 vs Squampch (1-0): Send your BoPo thoughts Skittles’ way today, as her health is forcing her to give up Draft League. She will be missed on the lanes and I know we all wish her well. Gutterboy’s Mom will take her spot on Tootsie’s roster as they try to build on an emotional week 1 bowl off win by Sparkles. Squampch missed week 1 but his team rolled off an impressive 13-2 victory. Cotter Martin was impressive even while babysitting at the bar. The team definitely seemed like strangers and didn’t talk much but they let their bowling talk, and now with their leader back they could be a dangerous team. I just think Tootsie has a little too much firepower in this battle of ex-Turkey Clubbers.

Deputy (1-0) -1 vs E-Motional (0-1): Tough start for big E running into the Dick’s Picks and a 12-3 loss in week 1. Their scores should rebound as E has now had a few days to incorporate his Jimmahclark lessons, and McQueen always bounces back. They face Deputy’s team, a group that picked up a big win and features a top three that are very used to bowling with each other. I see an E vs Dep bowl off coming.

It’s On

Welcome back everyone, hope you enjoyed your hiatus.  Well, a hiatus for many of you anyway: a small but growing number of BoPoers are starting to play year round in Business League and Casco Bay Leagues.  Soon they’ll be taking jobs with Bayside’s top December party corporate clients like IDEXX just to make sure they get lanes in our business month.  It’s awesome.  Doubles league has started, and since the draft all the old faces who haven’t played this Summer have been showing up.  Tonight is like the first day of school, except a million times cooler.  No homework.

So it’s back to writing lines for me.  Draft league lines are tough, the teams are usually so evenly matched.  Last year of the 18 teams, 15 finished between 4-6 and 6-4.  This year Draft is at an all-time high of 20 teams, its max (until expansion: more on that in future posts).  I’ll tend to pick teams with folks who’ve been bowling all Summer for these first few weeks.  Lot’s more BoPoers getting new balls and lessons this season so that could show up too.  I’m only going to do a top 5 for draft power rankings since there are only 20 teams.  Remember the divisions are important this season because you only play teams within your division.  Go West!  Go East!  Division winners get byes to the quarters.  Teams 2-7 in each division qualify for the play-offs. So without further ado, the rankings and lines.

Preseason Power Rankings:

1. McGuyvah: Probably a lot of head scratching out there right now since 90%  of you have never heard of this guy.  He is a newcomer to BoPo, and while he is a decent bowler his team is ranked here because he’s a great drafter.  Tango has not taken a break from bowling and won another title last night.  Spidey was the steal of the draft in the 2nd round.  Baller is another CacsoBayer friend of Tango, and Rufio! is a gamer who won Draft last year (plus she’ll be psyched to be joined be fellow Lovernaut Rinni).

2. Bombpop: After grabbing the legendary Oz in the 1st, Bombpop grabbed his Yaymate Yao 2nd to have perhaps the best 1-2-3 (on paper) in the league.  Then he drafted his brother.  These guys are all pretty familiar with each other.  They picked up Miz Tizdale who is a proven commodity, and Lillabot who is in it to win it as she only participates in Draft League and liked bowling enough to marry her bowling instructor.

3. Chernobes: AKA, Binga’s.  Layne didn’t set out to draft her BoPo team but the picks just fell that way.  Who’s going to pass up Jerk at 10th pick?  Or Tso at 30?  Only Cookie got away but Rick Vaughn’s team will take care of him.  After the three Binga’s you get an odd mix of Snapshot, DC Lane and J Bird, not standard Binga’s players but solid bowlers.  This team is like a social experiment that could result in a title.

4. Big Whoop (McStriker): Just draft champions, that’s a solid strategy.  Booth and Cheese account for 7 titles between them, including three Draft League titles.  They know what it takes.  Dude reached the finals last year and McStriker gives herself an ace woman.  Burt the Bandit proved his clutch credentials last year and Clarified Gutter will probably kill it now that she doesn’t have to worry about dragging Peanut Gutter home after 2 kamikaze pitchers.

5. Munj: I’ve already started doing paragraphs for three other teams as #5 (T-Square, Diesel and E-Motional) and talked myself out  of them as I wrote.  If I finish this writeup then these guys stay at 5.  Gutterboi is always a solid pick, and a good coach.  He should get the most out of Gutterslut, and Gutterlicious is a BoPo all-star.  Sparetime has become semi-famous for BoPo playoff upsets and near misses, and Munj is psyched to roll on a team where he can safely be the #3.  Mystery Girl turned out to be Gracer, we’ll have to see what she’s got.  Well, I finished the paragraph.

Game of the Week

LATE: #2 Bombpop (-1) vs Cilantro: Yeah, I ranked Bombpop 2nd then only favored them by 1.  These guys will be good but could also start off a bit rusty.  Cilantro has been getting in work and was a BoPo playoff hero.  He’s got the ever consistent Cheddar, sneaky good Magic, and new LOSer Nugget. in his top 4. That’s a hell of a group.  If I hadn’t already finished rankings I’d revise them to include these guys.  As it is, it’s my game of the week!

Early Games

# 3 Chernobes (-3) vs Deputy: No one works harder than Deputy, always practicing, always changing his games, always sleeveless.  He’s got a decent little squad with his 2v2 buddy Duke and Pauly, plus reigning BoPo champ Alleyluejah.  They look like a playoff squad but I just ranked Chernobes 3rd so I have to stick with that.  Did I mention Binga’s has a new locker room directly across the street from Bayside’s parking lot?

Diesel (-1) vs Colucci Kid: This could be a sweet match.  Precious returns to the lanes for the first time since his heroic playoff run, but he faces defending Draft Champ Diesel.  Danny D has some big guns in Bustah and Beef Wellington.  The Kid grabbed the sought after Steff Infection (also a new Bayside hire, yes!).  Should be a battle but I’ll give the slight edge to Diesel’s crew.

#1 McGuyvah (-5) vs Gatch: Well, they are my preseason #1.  That, plus Gatch is out of town.  Seatown, Wildcard, Bonita and Southpaw will try to pick up the slack while he’s gone and Budwesier Joe makes his Draft League debut.

#5 Munj (-5) vs Squampch: I already wrote about the Munjes.  Squampch is also out of town tonight, one of multiple MIA Captains in week 1.  Boots will be good but this is his Bayside debut and there is usually an adjustment period.  Sloppiness and Lala will need to step up since they are fresh off title games last night.

T-Square (-3) vs Tootsie: T used the #1 pick wisely by selecting Bama, an unassailable pick.  Grabbing T-$ in the 2nd round was a nice little bonus.  The team is full of gamers in Knuckles, Automatic and J-Walker along with the Captain herself who has aeon a BoPo title.  Tootsie is returning to BoPo play after founding, then leaving, Turkey Club a few years back.  He’s got an interesting mix: few bowl more often than Sparkles.  Skittles is a crowd favorite and Jenerator has more Restaurant titles than you can shake a rolling pin at.  I think this team will take a while to come together, however, so I’m picking T-Square.

Late Games

Dick’s Pick’s Vol. IV: (-1) vs E-Motional: So much drama!  Dick vs McQueen in what has been a turbulent offseason for OC. E-Minor and, well, just E-minor.  Lots of Waterville in this match (Dick, McQueen, Barry Violet).  I’m going with the Picks assuming Mr. Stiffy is back around and they use mostly uppers tonight.

Hot Sauce (-3) vs Hexy: Hot Sauce took the gamble on the Shifter McNasty pick and tonight may be one of the nights when it pays off as I think both will be there (of course there will be many nights with neither).  Hexy shocked the world by selecting Coco Lopez at #2 overall – will it pay off?  She is coming off a season with 3 major titles.  I’ll take the Sauce in this one though.

#4 Big Whoop (-5) vs Rick Vaughn: Ol’ Ricky missed the draft, and I tried to the best I could for him with the draft list he provided.  He was dead set on Bijou in the first round, and she could be back to form not bowling 8 months pregnant.  Cookie gets his shot at being top dog.  Probie and Ramrod both bring the heat, and Rick Vaughn loves the heater.  This team will enjoy itself.

Roadhouse (-3) vs 100% Down: Just when you thought it was safe to bowl without ear protection, he’s back.  With only three roster players available Slow Roll and 100% down are bringing Dr. Thunder out of retirement for a cameo. They’ll be without Nuber, Luke and Seachellz, however, and the Karl H?uncle Jesse combo will be wildly unpredictable.  Coversely, Roadhouse and Natro both have been bowling consistently well and will be tough to top.  Tilt-A-Whirl may finally get her look at a championship, while Saw is looking for a Draft League repeat.

 

 

Teams

 


T-Square Hexy Slow Roll Tootsie Cilantro Munj Colucci Kid
Bama Coco Lopez Karl Hungus Sparkles Cheddar Gutterboi Precious
T$ Walter Nuber One Herk-a-leez Magic Gutterslut Stef Infection
Knuckles Jon Moon Uncle Jesse Skittles Nugget Gutterlicious Mr. Mayor
Automatic Hombre D Luke Happy fPete Rubbys Sparetime Fern
J Walker Wedgehead Seachels Jenerator Prancer ? Lady Slick Nick
Rick Vaughn McGuyvah Chernobes Squampch Hot Sauce McStriker Bombpop
Bijou Lowrie Tango Jammy J Boots Valley Gurl Double Chz Oz
Cookie Spidey Gen. Tso Sloppiness Shifter Nasty Booth Yao Romo
Wendiesel Rufio! Snapshot Lala Cpt. Insanal Burt the B Miz Tizdale
Probie Baller J Bird Cotter Martin Xander Rolle The Dude Jonkowski
Ramrod Rinni DC Lane Cupcake Nutter Gutter Clarified gut Lillabot
Diesel Gatch Deputy Dick L E-Motional Roadhouse
Bustah Southpaw P Ringwald Stiffy McQueeeeen Natro
Beef Wellin Sea Town Duke T-wood Space Farmer Bora-Bora Tilt-a-whirl
Hunny Bunny Sir Marksalt Alley-lujia Beaujolais P Nurp Jewdy
Strike T Bonita The Cleaner Shithawk Barry Violet Saw
Ruby Canary Wildcard Luka Queen B Animal Two Koops

Please Pardon Our Appearance…

It’s been a long Summer, things got a little run down around here.  Over the next couple weeks we should have the site back up to snuff.  Draft on Thursday!  I’m updating the 2v2 pages today.  I do believe it’s bowling season mother huggers!